An Intimate Night

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

During the pandemic, there wasn’t much opportunity to attend music concerts. After all, there was a virus going around. As countries reopen with COVID-19 relegated to the rear view mirror, there has been a return of nighttime entertainment in the last few years. Of note for this humble blogger has been the return of musicals. Be that 9-5, featuring the songs of our favourite country singer: Dolly Parton, to Six and the Rocky Horror Show.

In the city itself, there have been a few smaller candlelit concerts with music ranging from movies to anime. A Distant Worlds hasn’t graced the shores of Australia since 2017. And while we had a Kingdom Hearts music concert in 2019, it has certainly been quite a few years since I’ve gotten to enjoy a proper orchestra playing my favourite songs from a couple of my favourite franchises live.

No longer!

Given advanced notice by Facebook, I co-opted my good friend, bleachpanda into the proceedings. It helped that the New World concert fell very close to her birthday. But unlike previous New Worlds that had been held at Chatswood Concourse, this time round, the two of us would enjoy the music from Final Fantasy at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music.

A place that I’d been to in my youth. Back when I was still being graded for piano and hadn’t visited in a very long time.

After picking up two Krispy Kreme donuts and getting overcharged (for some reason, they charged me the price of a 4-donut box and I didn’t realise it until I checked my bank balance the next day), I picked up bleachpanda at Wynyard train station in the heart of the CBD. From there, we headed eastwards towards the State Library.

Despite the fact that we had bought tickets for the 6PM showing, eschewing dinner (which we ended up grabbing later anyways), there were still plenty of people in attendance. Bleachpanda and I were not the only music starved Final Fantasy fans out there.

And what a riveting opening number that the smaller chamber orchestra started off with! As soon as I heard the first few notes, a grin split my face from ear to ear. After all, this was Valse di Fantastica!

What followed next were a mix of songs both old and new.

I won’t be able to put them in exact order as I thought it rude to pull out my phone and start recording the names but barring two songs from Final Fantasy XIV, I managed to remember most of them. I do believe one of them MAY have been Insatiable from the Shadowbrings DLC. The other was a more jazzy piece that I cannot, for the life of me, recall the name of. Probably because I should have played more of Final Fantasy XIV, but I digress.

The other songs that caught my attention were Town Theme from the first Final Fantasy. Then we had Besaid from Final Fantasy X, which I immediately recognised, followed by Heaven’s Tower from Final Fantasy XI.

Then we had a variety of different songs. Unfortunately for bleachpanda, none of them proved capable of keeping her engaged. These included Lenna’s Theme from Final Fantasy V, Atonement from Final Fantasy XIII, Dark World from Final Fantasy VI and Melancholia from Final Fantasy XV.

Finally, in order to keep my poor friend awake, the orchestra played Force Your Way from Final Fantasy VIII along with a piece from bleachpanda’s favourite Final Fantasy game: IX. Except of course, A Place to Call Home was rudely cut short with a Final Fantasy XIV song.

We even got to hear the conductor, Eric Roth, sing when Serah’s theme was played. And in fact, Eric Roth was a very memorable conductor as he gallivanted around the stage. Well, gallivant isn’t quite the word either. He…danced? Or rather, conducted with the entirety of his body. From stamping his feet to waving his arms around as a means to tell the orchestra to add more oomph to a piece or to keep it more quiet.

Before too long, the concert came to an end. As it did, we were treated with several classic: Zanarkand, One-winged Angel, Victory Fanfare and Chocobo Medley. And to justify the acoustic guitar that they brought in we also heard a guitar solo of the main theme from the first Final Fantasy.

While it was no Distant Worlds, it was certainly a night that brought back a flood of memories of attending these concerts in the past. And, if anything else, was a sign that things in the world were finally returning to a state of normalcy. Whether we were ready for it or not.

The History of Wrong Guys

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Although White Coat and I had made plans to check out the Bastille Day celebrations at Circular Quay and the Rocks, in the weeks leading up to it I just couldn’t bear to bring myself to keep chatting with him. At least, on the Hinge app. It just seemed like h wasn’t putting in the same amount of effort and then he’d make statements that sounded oddly like conclusions or judgements of who I was as a person. None of which sat well with me.

For example, it just so happened that I went to both Supanova and SMASH this year. Two annual conventions that are the talk of the city of Sydney when they come round. Instead of asking if I go to a lot of conventions, he simply said: you go to a lot of conventions, then. End statement. Nothing more to it.

I know that conversations with men can be obtuse. But I’m sorry? Is going to two conventions a lot in a single year? What IS the definition of ‘a lot’ anyways? True, over the course of 10 years, I’ve been to quite a few conventions. Perhaps one or two each year, which would make the number in the low 20s, but when I compare myself to true regulars of these events, that number pales in comparison.

After all, some people have gone to these events since they were young children.

But you don’t know that, Mr White Coat. From our conversations, you would only know that I went to SMASH and Supanova THIS year. And that I went to PAX Aus last year. So, the number of known conventions I’ve been to, at least to your knowledge sits at 3. Which, by all standards and measurements is not ‘a lot’ by any means.

You can see where I’m going with this.

Worse than that, White Coat simply didn’t offer much in stimulating conversation When, one weekend, he told me of the ‘board games’ he had played with his friends, I queried which board games in particular he had played. His answer? Star Wars Armada. That’s it. That was his sole answer.

He didn’t expand. Nor did he mention any other board games.

I ask you, dear reader, what is a person to make of that?

The more I chatted with him, the less inspired or motivated I was to continue with the conversation. If he wasn’t going to put in the effort, why should I? There was clearly no curiosity and there was naught of worth to talk about.

One scintillating conversation we had before I broke it off was how much he was enjoying his two weeks holiday because he worked at a school and that he’d taken a walk along the Parramatta River.

The other riveting conversation we had was how much he hated being interrupted by students during his many meet-ups and ‘dates’ and the generational gap it came to chatting with his fellow work colleagues when he made a Half-Life 2 reference and they didn’t get it.

In the end, I dreaded the second date so much that I told him in uncertain words that whatever this relationship was between us, it wasn’t going to get past the acquaintance stage. Still, I remained polite and wished him all the best in his future dating endeavours. I simply wasn’t the ONE for him.

Of course, he had to leave with a parting shot that I ought to change around my profile pictures. No ‘good luck Kyndaris.’ Or an ‘I understand but I think you should give me a second chance.’ No, no. Just another negging comment about what my profile picture should be.

Not soon after, I began chatting with another person on Hinge only to unmatch them soon after as they dumped on me about the virtues of Japanese light novels and how they could be incredibly complex but also provide some light relief in the form of comedy. And maybe that worked for him but as someone that likes ‘Western literature (something to which he referred to other books that weren’t in the purview of his favourite genre),’ my brief contact with Japanese light novels had left much to be desired.

I mean, I’m all for people reading what they like. It’s a good thing that more people are reading. But you don’t have to drag on high-fantasy novels.

It always felt like I needed to defend why I liked reading fantasy of the Western literature kind. So, things like Brandon Sanderson or Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.

But worse than that, all he wanted to do was spam me about his one hyperfixation. Even when I attempted to change the topic and ask about his other interests, he went back to talking about, and comparing, Death Note to a fantasy comedy manga. Of particular note was how superior the fantasy manga was because the sequence of events for a particular character was logical as it made sense in its own world and how he had to put down Death Note because he couldn’t get past one implausible aspect of the plot.

Dear readers, I’ll have you know, I did try to give him a chance. But it was just too much. And after bouncing off White Coat, I couldn’t handle being talked at rather than talked to.

These kinds of incidents only seem to make me feel lonelier than ever. More than that, it chips already at my low self-worth – not that I need the external validation but are these the quality of people that I can attract? Men that just talk about themselves without giving much thought to a healthy discussion of life, the universe and everything?

It’s like they’re all just focused on their own very internal lives and niche interests without turning their mind to the complexities of the world we live in.

But also, it’s just not attractive at all.

And it makes me wonder if this is what love has been reduced to. Or maybe that trying to date men was the wrong move entirely and I should redouble my efforts with trying to meet a nice woman that I can get along well with.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure which way I swing still, or if I swing for any side at all. All I do know is that the people I’ve kinda been obsessed with or wanted to know more about/ be friends with desperately have been women. Like, this one popular sporty girl during China camp or this married woman on a recent trip to Egypt.

But the question, of course, is if it’s actual romantic/ sexual attraction or if it’s because there’s an aspect to them that I really admire and wish I could emulate in my own life.

It’s probably the confidence.

I just wish I shared their same confidence and could exude it in my day to day. Maybe that’ll win me the person of my dreams?

Who knows.

In any case, I don’t really think online dating is for me. And I’ve given it a heck of a try. A year’s worth of effort and time spent into talking to strangers.

Will things progress with Game Master? Or will there be a new contender for my affections? Stay tuned to Dating 2.0!

Blessed Mother

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

The Diablo series has always had a soft spot in my heart ever since I played the second game back when I was 12 at the behest of a few school friends. Yes, it was MA15+ and I probably shouldn’t have been playing it at that age but I managed to convince my father to buy me it, one of a thousand cherished memories that I had with him, because I was already hooked on Blizzard’s other games: Warcraft and Starcraft. So began my descent into the terrifying world of Sanctuary and humanity’s quest to purge the evils that stalk its land.

Unlike its other major franchises, Diablo is an action role-playing game. Or, ARPG for short. But for many, it’s known as the one game that helps most people develop repetitive strain injury (RSI) because of the constant clicking that goes throughout the gameplay.

Diablo IV continues in this vein as very little of the core gameplay has changed. The playable character moves around by clicking the mouse to a specific spot on the map. The playable character attacks by clicking on enemies. Occasionally, one can mix it up with a variety of other skills by pressing something on the number pad.

That is, of course, if you play Diablo IV on the computer. The controls might be a little different on consoles but I’ve always found that the best way to play isometric click-heavy ARPGs on computer.

Besides, I didn’t get a heavy-duty PC just to write my stories. I mean, yes, that is the primary purpose but not the sole reason. I do use it occasionally to play video games that seem best suited for the PC. Why, just recently, I even bought an external SSD to possibly install Baldur’s Gate 3 and Starfield because these games require an SSD. And while my PC does have an SSD installed, since I bought my PC about five years ago, the storage on it is only about 256GB with quite a bit of it taken up by…well…normal PC function.

How was I supposed to know that game development would go towards SSD? I’m not a TECH expert with a pulse on the ground when it comes to new technology although my work colleagues think differently.

Anyways, back to the game at hand: Diablo IV.

While I was excited to re-enter the world of Sanctuary following the events of Diablo III and the interesting premise promised by the trailers regarding Lilith, it is my personal opinion that opening up the world only served to damage the game. While some might enjoy having an open world to explore, I personally found the countless cellars and dungeons repetitive. With level scaling and how quickly I managed to level up to 50, much of Diablo IV felt much the same. Especially when I’d unlocked all the skills that could fill my skill hotbar.

True, I could have respecced my character but there wasn’t much need for it with my storm wolf druid. It was an effective DPS machine and with the added ability to fortify at the end, I was essentially unkillable in the lower world tiers. Especially when I began to be level past the recommend threshold.

Open worlds, it must be said, used to be one of my favourite game builds. However, as worlds have become larger with needless collectibles to fill out the world, they have also become some of my most hated elements because I’m a compulsive explorer – always desperate to check out the next nook or cranny in case of side quests or something interesting. Diablo IV proved infuriating in this respect as it had so many side quests but no way to track the ones you’d completed except with a ?/45 on the world map. This made knowing which side quests I’d completed difficult to keep track of and figure out which ones I was still missing.

For a completionist such as myself, it was a nightmare. 

Even as I attempted to get most of the blue exclamation marks that I could find. It doesn’t help that they also only appear if you’re in that particular segment of the map, which makes it even harder to mop out unless I decided to hop between fast travel portals.

Despite this, I can see why the developers decided to go for an open world. After all, Diablo end-game (at least from 3 onwards) has always been about collecting the best gear and becoming stronger than you were before. Slap on live-service with battlepass and it’s a winning formula to become an endless grind quest. 

A part of me almost wanted to shake the developers and have them turn the franchise into a massively multiplayer online role playing game (MMORPG) for it appears to be the direction that the franchise is going. Should it go down this route, I’d also be happy for it to ditch the isometric focus on the ground. 

Alternatively, Activision Blizzard, you could also scale it back down. At least for the story segments and have it opened up afterwards. I much prefer the more compact nature of Diablo II, where I was free to explore the map of the immediate area, kill all the enemies it contained and be awed by the majesty of how large the world COULD be rather than be faced with all the open space and respawning enemies. Which, also, only seem to attack the playable character rather than have any real conflict amongst themselves.

Are you honestly telling me that the demons and the snake cultists wouldn’t fight each other or the hellspawn-esque willdlife?

Honestly, I pity the people still alive on Sanctuary. It’s clear that they can get nothing done without being mobbed by an endless amount of bandits, goatmen, cultists and demons.

Yes, it works from a gameplay perspective but it SUCKS from a world-building perspective. The people of Sanctuary might as well give up and succumb to the end if all they have to look forward to is being eaten alive by cannibals that are just outside their gates.

Now, most of my readers, and friends, would know that I love myself a good story. And Diablo IV delivered it, especially at the start. Lilith’s arrival in Sanctuary was suitably chilling and the prologue with the people at Nevesk laid the ground work for what I had hoped would be an interesting throughline of the greyness that encompasses real-life morality and perhaps have the playable character struggle with the implications of ingesting Lilith’s blood.

But did we get any of that?

No. No, we didn’t.

The playable character serves as a patsy to link up the other main characters: Lorath, Donan and Nyrelle. it is never explained why the playable character is so strong, tearing through demons left, right and centre as they traipse through Estuar (the eastern continent of Sanctuary). Or how they seem able to resist the influence of Lilith’s blood in their veins. Even Lorath is amazed at their mental fortitude but it’s never truly explored. I never see my character waver in their convictions although there is a scene where they confess to Nyrelle that they have flaws.

WHERE ARE THESE FLAWS? All that the playable character does is help out those that need it and shout defiance at the demons of Hell.

I would have preferred a story with more player choice and to see us grapple with the consequences of our actions. Instead, most of the major decisions were made by other characters and the player character was simply along for the ride as the hired muscle. 

It would have been far more interesting to me if we could have chosen to follow Lilith rather than stop her and allow Mephisto to do what he will upon Sanctuary. I mean, with that ending, there is little doubt in my mind that the world will be drenched in Hatred. A rather frightening prospect although it’s no different to the world we live in today. And while we fight amongst ourselves, the world as we know it steps ever closer to the edge with climate change wreaking havoc.

Let it be known that our current civilisation was laid low by our own hubris and the fact that we had grown fat and indolent on greed that thinking to change our ways to ensure our own survival came second to materialistic objects.

But enough of the doom and gloom! Diablo IV! 

Personally, while I am fascinated with the lore of the Diablo franchise, this recent game left me wanting. I would have much preferred a more engaging story where the playable character didn’t sit on the sidelines as the other characters decided the fate of the world. In fact, I’d have rather a slow-burn corruption story where we step off the path of the lawful good and accept the lesser-evil to save Sanctuary.

Or perhaps have us turn away from the Light entirely and fight against the Heavens for their callous disregard of humans.

At this point, I probably have a corruption kink. 

Wait. What are you doing?

No. Don’t look at that!

…

…

…

Okay, yes. Voldemort x Hermione Granger and Voldermort x Harry Potter are a few of the things that I like to peruse on the odd occasion. No, I won’t explain myself.

All right. Where were we? Ah, right. BALANCE!

For all its talk of balance, Diablo IV very much likes to paint things in black and white. Lilith, the Mother of Sanctuary, has an evil plan to cull the weak. As such, we must stop her even if it would open us up to the Greater Evils. Elias, because he brought the Mother back, is also evil despite his intention to save Sanctuary because of the ongoing threat.

As for the Angels, well, they’ve all apparently abandoned humanity. They might not have voted to destroy Sanctuary but they are doing nothing to combat the threat of the Greater Evils in the world. 

Tyrael, a mainstay of the last two games, is absent in Diablo IV and its difficult to understand why.

In any case, if Activision Blizzard ever saw fit to paint out a little more of the world, I would have liked to play a game where the playable character deals with the corruption of the Zakarum by Mephisto. 

Or maybe if we finally saw a few demons turn to the light. 

Why is it that angels can fall but demons remain forever in the depths of Hell?

Despite quite a few gripes regarding Diablo IV, I still enjoyed the majority of the game. My only wish was that it was more concise without so many open-world shenanigans thrown in to elongate the longevity of the game. Yes, there will be  a large group of people that will enjoy the end-game portion of it, but for those that thrive on story, the open world proves to be detrimental to one’s enjoyment. Especially when the world is so utterly grim. 

And I think the wider question that needs to be asked is if Sanctuary ought to be saved or not.

Tavern Drinking and Celebrity Spotting

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Fortress is one of Australia’s better known esports lounge, bar and arcade, all wrapped up in one. Although it’s been a staple of the Melbourne landscape for several years, the fine folks in charge of it saw how profitable the business model was and decided to bring it to Sydney as well.

And so, Sydney’s own Fortress opened up with little fanfare at the start of 2023 with little fanfare in Central Park Mall. At least, ‘little’ to the wider public. But it was most assuredly on the mind of many a Sydney gamer, this humble blogger included. But given how busy I was and the fact that I only had a few friends I could quickly round up for a jaunt in the city, my opportunities for visiting were few and far between.

Enter Mr Game Master.

After agreeing to a second date, I floated the idea of visiting Fortress to scope out the premises. Fortunately, he took the bait hook, line and sinker. After all, there would be plenty of opportunities for us to pursue our board game interests as, beyond hosting a large number of computers, they also had a bar area decorated to represent a tavern from ye olde fantasy games, along with the opportunity to hire any tabletop game from their collection.

Which, of course, was what we did.

We met outside Fortress at approximately 6PM before ducking in. Once we were inside, we were directed to a table to order some sustenance.Orders made, Mr Game Master went to have a look at the board game that we could hire for an hour or so as the waiter told us that was how long the reservation was for. Mr Game Master’s first choice of game was Catan: Rivals, a card based version of the popular game Catan and made with two players in mind. As neither of us were familiar with this rendition of the game, we read the rules and set up the game as we waited for our respective burgers to arrive.

Just as we were about to start playing, the food was brought to our table and we digged in.

Mine was a typical beef burger while Mr Game Master ordered a chicken burger. And while we both were very satisfied with our meals, given the fact that Mr Game Master had been born with the bigger mouth and knew how to demolish a burger quickly, he was able to scoff his down in short order. My burger took a lot longer to eat and became a little bit of a mess as it fell apart in my hands because I had removed the skewer keeping it together.

Once I’d managed to clean the burger juices from my hands, we began to play Catan: Rivals in earnest. Despite my best efforts, Mr Game Master came out on top. Mostly through sheer luck because he drew many an excellent action card that he could use to mitigate the lack of resources we had. I, on the other hand, only had the resources to build up a useless army that I only managed to utilise once to destroy one of his buildings.

Still eager for a second game, Mr Game Master went back to the desk out front and returned Catan: Rivals. Following behind him as we had initially toyed with the idea of playing Spirit Island, we instead settled for Sushi Go – a much quicker game that we both knew the rules to.

As I returned to the table first, I had to do a double take as I noticed what appeared to be Rad and Gem, the hosts of ABC Spawn Point. Well, only one of them was still a current host. The other had stepped away and I wasn’t sure if she was still working for the ABC or if she had found work in some other field.

But, before I go any further, I suppose it would be remiss of me to not clarify what the ABC is. Or ABC Spawn Point, for that matter.

ABC, at least in Australia, stands for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. It’s essentially our version of the BBC. As for Spawn Point, well, it was television program targeted at kids, and which talked about video games that they could play on a mainstream platform.

More importantly, it was a spin-off show following the success of ABC Good Game, which was targeted at older gamers, providing reviews and news of the gaming world. Government sponsored gaming content. Can you believe it?

Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, ABC Good Game was cut from the network and there was the short-lived Screenplay on Channel 7, which had many of the old hosts from ABC Good Game on it.

In any case, I was starstruck.

As soon as Mr Game Master had returned, I’d pointed out the two minor television celebrities. I even showed him pictures of them that I managed to find through a quick Google search. And like someone that has never been taught subtlety, he completed turned to look over his shoulder at them! 

You cannot imagine the sheer terror that flooded my veins if Rad and Gem had noticed! Would they have been annoyed that I had mentioned, quite loudly too in my opinion, that they were there. After all, it looked like they were having a girls’ night out with their friends. Who would have wanted their personal time interrupted by fans wanting to talk to them about video games?

I certainly wouldn’t have.

Although, since I’d been in the first row during their panel at AUS PAX last year, I felt some kinship to them. Oh, what am I kidding. It’s a completely parasocial relationship. I don’t really know them. And they wouldn’t know me either. But it might have been nice if I could have scrounged up the courage to say ‘hi’ and that I was a ‘fan’ of their work.

I mean, it’s not like I’m a huge fan but it was the closest I’ve been able to mingle with people that have SOME level of fame, you know?

Regardless, Mr Game Master and I did NOT go up to them. Instead, we kept to ourselves and played through a game of Sushi Go. I won, of course. And by then, it was already quite late so we packed our things and headed for the door.

While I had taken public transport, Mr Game Master had driven down to the city. Before we said our goodbyes, we tried our hands at a little gacha and I came away with a Greedent as a token of the time I spent with Mr Game Master.

Will things progress from here on out? Mr Game Master almost certainly felt like we had hit it off, even inviting me in passing to his place to play board games with his house mates. Of course, I’m not sure if that’ll be the optimal next step but the offer has been extended. Given the limitations I’ve had when it comes to playing board games on the regular, it would certainly be a treat.

The only obstacle in this arrangement, of course, is that his work days don’t fall into the usual 9-5, Monday to Friday mould whereas mine do. So, it’ll be difficult to arrange an actual day to come visit.

Still, I might be getting ahead of myself.

After all, dating is all about the small steps rather than the big leaps and grand gestures.

And even though it’s slow going – mostly because of me – I don’t think I’m averse to Mr Game Master’s company. I’ve most definitely endured worse. Mr White Coat springs to mind. As did a brief dalliance (and by THAT I mean a day or two chatting on Hinge) with someone that had turned being a weeb into their entire personality and couldn’t help but regale me of the superiority of Japanese light novels over what he considered ‘Western literature.’

But I think that’s a story for another time.

For now, I’m tentatively optimistic that things might work out.

Time will only tell how it all pans out. If all else fails, I still have my video games and books and my fictional lovers to fall back on. That and filthy smutty fanfiction.

From Supanova to SMASH – A Convention-al Story

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In the city of Sydney, Australia, there aren’t too many events where nerds can get together to celebrate pop-culture. Sure, we have a somewhat lowkey medieval fair that’s located about 62 kilometres away from the heart of the city (or, as we Sydneysiders like to call it: the CBD, which stands for central business district) as well as a few few board game events, but the ones that really catch the attention of most people are the holy trinity: Supanova, SMASH and OZ Comic-Con. None of which are as big as any of the events held overseas. That means that many of the guests certainly aren’t as up to snuff as those that attend similar events in America. We certainly don’t attract A-list Hollywood actors for a start!

Although, several years back, we did have Chuck Norris down under. So, that’s a plus?

Long story short, San Diego Comic-Con, this is not. There is no dedicated Hall H to showcase all the latest films that are in the works. Nor do we have attendees like James Gunn or Jamie Lee Curtis coming through.

It’s a far simpler affair than all that.

One that I had intended to check out again with Bleachpanda. Unfortunately, to my dismay, my friend couldn’t wouldn’t attend with me. She said she’d undertaken a translation course with mandatory classes on the weekend. I called bullshit, of course. But she was adamant that there were limitations to how many classes she could skip. 

So, I was left to attend Supanova on my lonesome.

Or so I thought!

Enter MrsArmageddon!

A starry-eyed Generation Zed that I’d taken under my wing at work as the older, wiser and cooler colleague. Little did SHE know that I was actually a cantankerous miser who shook my fists at all the younglings throwing out words like ‘slaaay’ and ‘yaas queen.’ 

I think I might have thrown up in my mouth a little.

Anyways, she’d recently joined my team and I’d threatened that if she so much as thought to ask me questions, I’d bore her to tears by listing useless facts about Star Wars or Harry Potter or whatever video game that I could think of in that moment. But instead of being turned off, she’d actually seemed excited! In fact, she wanted more!

After some light Facebook stalking, I discovered she was one of those Tumblr fiends back in the day. One who was tangentially involved in the SuperWhoLock fandom. 

But more importantly, she was ALSO big into musicals. And, although, she didn’t read as much fantasy fiction as I did, she had delved deep into the realm of YA.

I had found…a kindred spirit. A mini-me! One that I could sculpt into my own image with just the right encouragement.

Purely by chance!

Okay, well, maybe it might be a tad bit impossible to make them COMPLETELY like me. I am, of course, the superior and more worldly lifeform that is perfect in every way – an Apex Predator if you will – in the world of social interaction.

Honestly, it’s not everyday that I find someone that ticks most of my interest boxes and gets all of my references. This was something special. I could feel it in my bones.

(Editorial Kyndaris here: The claim of being an Apex Predator? Yeah, that’s a lie. I’m actually the complete opposite. Honestly, I’m definitely more of a wallflower. And an incredibly awkward one at that. I’m a person who sits on the sidelines and who just thinks terrible thoughts of the people around me. NO-ONE should idolise me in any way and I’m certainly not a good role model for anyone to emulate).

In any case, MrsArmageddon was not good at making financial decisions. So, despite already going to Dreamhack in Melbourne, she still wanted to go to Supanova. Something I, the enabler, well…supported! After all, going to such events is much more fun with friends. Even those that you meet through work. 

Is it a little strange to see them outside the work context and free from the confines of Microsoft Teams? Sure. But well, what can you do?

Arriving early at Supanova, I snuck in late to the Cristina Vee panel before sitting down for a discussion on the art of writing with Levi Grossman. The panels themselves did have their highlights but, especially with Levi Grossman, author of The Magicians, it just wasn’t as exciting as I had hoped. Once again, I was reminded that even authors, be they great or small, are just human. Not all of us are great orators.

Even in our field of supposed expertise, we can struggle.

Still, it was good to learn that Levi Grossman had learned some of the tricks of the trade by working in the field of journalism before becoming a bestseller author. Along with the fact that he had written other books prior to his breakout novel starring the likes of Quentin Coldwater but it had been a struggle to find his voices.

So, maybe there’s hope for me yet!

MrsArmageddon, unfortunately, was late for our very first out-of-office meetup. By the time she’d arrived, I’d already done a tour of the artist stalls and had picked up gifts for my friends, including Bleachpanda.

Bleachpanda, I hope you’re happy!

As we resumed roaming the halls, I got to meet MrsArmageddon’s circle of friends (which was nice because most of my friends…well, they tend to like going to SMASH over Supanova). It’s always good to expand my circle of associates. One never knows when that can come in handy.

I jest.

In truth, I only met MrsArmageddon’s friends in passing before they disappeared to buy more merchandise from a stall.

By the time our feet were telling us to take a break, it was almost 4 PM. Since I had arrived at about 10:30 AM, I was exhausted but glad that I was laden down with impressive prints and a crocheted Appa, key Sky Bison of the Avatar Gang. 

Not even two weeks after Supanova, I was back at it again. This time, I was attending SMASH with Bleachpanda. We arrived there early but still had no luck in nabbing spots at the maid cafe. A little disappointing, but no matter. There was always Japan.

Given that Bleachpanda didn’t have a panel she wanted to see until 12, we wandered through the stalls to see what goodies were being sold by entrepreneurial creatives. Much like Supanova, there were plenty of prints and artwork to be had. Although, there were more options for sexy anime figurines to make a grown man blush.

In the end, I purchased a blind box and an Ai Haibara keychain. 

Yes. I’m one of those. A huge fan of the Detective Conan anime series. Which, honestly, isn’t getting as much recognition as it should outside of Asia. Who WOULDN’T love Kaitou Kid? 

Honestly, it’s a surprise given how prolific Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie are in the Western world.

Alas.

After nearly choking in the mass of humans congregating in artist alley, we headed to Pyrmont Theatre for a panel with the one and only Toru Furuya. The iconic seiyu for many a character including Yamcha, Tuxedo Mask, Sabo and Toru Amuro. For me, who wasn’t as impressed, the panel was a little tedious due to the requirement for translation. That wasn’t to say Toru-sensei wasn’t enthusiastic. He was gregarious and suave throughout all his interactions.

When it ended, though, Bleachpanda was sorely disappointed that we didn’t get snippets of his voice acting talent. Rather, that had been relegated to the Sunday panel. Something that irritated Bleachpanda to no end as we then waited outside another room for an otome panel.

Of course, I’m not one to play otomes though I do very much like the visual novel style of games. After all, I played through all of the Ace Attorney games. But by 1:10 PM, the doors had yet to open. And I was starting to feel hungry. Beyond that, my old high school friend had texted me that they’d be at a nearby cafe. So, I thought, why not join up with them rather than wait in line for something that looked incredibly boring?

And I think it was a good call overall. For, as we walked past, sneaking a glance into the room, the otome panel appeared to be just a normal PowerPoint presentation to regale the audience of all the great things that can be found within.

Even Bleachpanda was taken aback by the lack of interesting slides that were on display.

Unfortunately, I walked in the wrong direction because there were TWO cafes with the SAME name within the immediate vicinity. So, rather than catch-up with my high school friend then and there, Bleachpanda and I ended up buying some food at a nearby food court. 

But because of all the puttering about that we were doing, I missed out on the panel with Sungwon Cho, AKA ProZD!

The despair I felt then! Even as I trudged up to World Square to pick up a copy of the latest game from Spike Chunsoft, Master Detective Archives: Rain Code. Junko Enoshima would be proud.

We returned to the convention after fuelling up and spent the rest of it going through artist alley, finally catching up with my high school friend and watching a performance on the Hobbyco stage. I even bought a Good Game mystery box, walking away with three new board games that I’ll play sometime in the distant future.

It sucks to live so far from friends that one can play board games with. But, it’s the hand I’ve been dealt in life and one I’ll simply have to learn to deal with.

Overall, I’d have to say that the two conventions I attended this year had both perks and downsides. It was a shame that I didn’t get to see ProZD but, at the very least, I got a chance to hang out with my friends that I so rarely see now that we’ve hit our 30s and are busy trying to carve out a career, or in the case of my high school friend, contemplate if now is the time to have a baby.

I, for one, am still on the fence on whether I should just accept the fact that I’ll never find THE ONE and just put in some research on IVF and Australian sperm donors. While I like the idea of having a child, going it alone is going to be tough.

Of course, there’s still time. So, while I ponder my next steps, I’ll just enjoy my new Eunie, Tora and Reyn pins (characters from the Xenoblade Chronicles series), along with the fantastical artworks that I bought that will decorate the walls of my future abode if my mortgage doesn’t force me to sell off my property.

What a time to be alive!

Pocketful of Neon Rain

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

As a person who likes to play video games than span a variety of genres, one of the things I like to do after playing a lengthy and intensive game is play something short and sharp. So, from a tactical role-playing game set in ye olde medieval fantasy times, I decided to travel to the near future and become a simple delivery driver in a neon-heavy world. Enter: Cloudpunk with its flying hover cars and cyberpunk aesthetic that did a much better job at exploring the themes of the genre than Cyberpunk 2077.

I know that that’s a bold statement to make but Cyberpunk 2077 was all about the bombastic blockbuster set pieces. It was about rebellion and sticking it to the man. But the character felt like they were outside of the system. A stranger looking in and tangentially touching upon the lives of those living in the world. Yes, it dealt with big megacorporations and the corruption within, but the themes of exploitation and the impact of the megacorporations was missing.

In short, Cyberpunk 2077 was all about the razzle dazzle. Cloudpunk on the other hand focused the perspective smaller. It wasn’t about the big picture so much as it was about the little guy and the daily choices they could make with regards to their life. In Cloudpunk, players are thrust into the shoes of Raina. Fresh from the Eastern Peninsula, chased by deb corps, she’s simply trying to make a new life for herself in the city of Novalis.

During her night shift in the city, Raina is able to meet a whole series of different characters. Some are earnest dreamers. Others are much more nefarious. Yet, through it all, we get a better understanding of the dynamics that underscore the world we’re in.

Just like Cyberpunk 2077, megacorporations rule the city. The wealth gap is astronomical and yet there are still some people that are able to survive. Yes, there’s a seedy underbelly but beyond a brief arc that is explored, it’s not the major plot thread that the game revolves around.

Rather, it’s focus was on the exploration of class dynamics and the moral dilemmas that come with living in such a world. Androids and hover cars sound cool but the reality of Novalis is of a crumbling city with a rotten core. Preferential treatment is given to the rich. And while androids have managed to fight for their freedom, there is still an undercurrent that they are less than human and face discrimination.

The concept of memories, the inability to feel a particular emotion, and the consequences of sapient AI all take centre stage in Cloudpunk. And these are all fascinating aspects that I wish could have been addressed in more depth. Especially when it came to things such as automata and being able to insert particular AI personalities into different types of electronic devices.

And what about that brain ghost reveal in the end with Control? Now that was certainly a frightful concept. How terrifying would it be to have our consciousness hijacked and enslaved for an ulterior purpose without the ability to step away? I certainly don’t think I could thrive in such an existence.

It helped that all the side quests encountered in the game further served to reveal more of the world. True, it was still the same-old gameplay of picking up a package and delivering it to another part of the city but it helped colour in the dystopia-esque world of Novalis.

What stood out for me beyond the themes that were running through the game was the fact that there was no combat in Cloudpunk. The gameplay involved driving around in the HOVA car and occasionally being able to exit it to chat with denizens of the city or purchase food or clothing. Cloudpunk also featured a few collectibles but these were all marked clearly on the map. There was no need to scramble around, checking every nook and cranny in the odd chance of missing something.

Admittedly, the one thing I disliked about the game was the fact that some of the items you found were needed to fix broken lifts, or granted you access through particular thoroughfares. This was a poorly explained part of the game but thankfully there was plenty of resources throughout the game that I could find so I was locked out of any critical paths.The only other thing that annoyed me  was how floaty the stearing for the HOVA was. Although I suppose that could be chalked up to the fact that I was playing with mouse and keyboard. Regardless, I would have preferred a smoother way to to drive around.

All in all, Cloudpunk was a great palate cleanser I needed after playing through Tactics Ogre Reborn. Unfortunately, I followed it up with another huge open world: Diablo IV because my friends were all playing Activision-Blizzard’s latest game and I didn’t want to miss out (the jury is still out regarding the merger with Microsoft but the trial has revealed a little more about the gaming industry as a whole). Otherwise, I’d have probably played through Hi-Fi Rush and gotten through Marvels: Midnight Suns.

But, as with everything in life, plans can go awry and it’s all about adapting to change. New games are always coming out but I’ll take my time. After all, the games will still be waiting for me and there’s no rush.

Lab Specimen

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II and the coronation of her son and heir, King Charles III, the public holiday on the second Monday of June that is celebrated in most Australian states was rebranded to the King’s birthday. As it was another day off, I used that time to meet up with suitor number 10. 

Honestly, when the dating gets going, it’s like back to back dates. And when times are slow, it’s as dry as a parched watering hole in the middle of an El Nino drought.

Not that I think this is something I want. Dating is hard and every time it feels like I’m at a job interview, being vetted to see if I’d be good dating material (spoilers: I’m not). Everything is so artificial and forced that it’s a wonder that anyone is eve able to relax and let their guard down.

My immediate reservations about dating aside, texting Mr White Coat was a challenge in and of itself. While I may not have inserted questions for him to respond to, I did prime most of my responses with openings that he could have used to pose a question about my interests or provide his own example to possibly relate to. But as with all instances of my inability to communicate well (at least according to one of my friends), he either did not pick up on those cues or he just decided to stop chatting for a good few days before asking something else entirely.

It truly can be hard to have an engaging conversation between minds when people either don’t commit to the bit (occasionally failing to realise there’s a bit) or they just go silent for days on end. Not that I’m complaining. It’s always time I can put towards gaming.

But when it all comes down to it, the crux of my issue with Mr White Coat was the fact that he was a poor online conversationalist. Beyond that, the way he attempted to ask me out truly irritated me to no end. And I’m sure, dear readers, that you are mightily curious of what this poor man has done to earn my ire. Well, then, I shall oblige.

Let me build the scene:

We had chatted for a couple of weeks. During our chats, I established early that I didn’t drink alcohol because I didn’t like the taste. I may have possibly mentioned that I didn’t drink coffee either (although checking through my messages, I didn’t actually mention this at all but the way he asked me out seemed to imply something on that level). He, on the other hand, told me he couldn’t stand the taste of chicken. Whether or not that actually caused a severe gag reaction remained a mystery. For all I knew, he could have stomached it but chose not to eat it.

Yet, despite the fact that CHICKEN was a big no-no for number 10, Mr White Coat, in his temerity said: Now normally for a first date I suggest meeting up for drinks either at a cafe or pub, but clearly that’s not going to work here. So what does a first date usually look like for you?

Excuse me? How dare you? How in the love of all that is reality does the fact that I don’t drink alcohol mean that I cannot go on a date to a cafe or pub? RATHER, the fact that you don’t eat chicken or like the taste of chicken means that you have a far PICKIER palate than I.

In the end, instead of exploding at him for such a poorly worded question to ask me out, I pointed out that when I have gone on dates (count them, multiple! You are, of course, suitor number 10) I’ve circumvented the need for alcohol by ordering water or juice. If it’s a cafe, I can order water or a hot chocolate if the person I’m meeting is a coffee aficionado.

There are, in fact, a multitude of ways that I can go about this.

Unlike you, Mr White Coat, where the option of KFC, be that Kentucky or Korean, is not a viable option!

The audacity of this man!

Still, despite his missteps, I agreed to a date with Mr White Coat. Our meeting place was one of the many Oliver Brown cafes in the suburbs of Sydney.

Although I had initially wanted to take public transport for the date, I was forced to drive to the meeting spot as I had a further engagement later on in the day to catch-up with friends. For which, I was actually grateful as it served as the perfect excuse to call it quits if the date went sideways. 

Of course, it wasn’t quite the disaster that I imagined it but it did feel like much of our conversation went nowhere. I suppose the problem was that I wasn’t all that curious about his life, nor was he that intrigued about mine either. Additionally, we never found a topic that would allow either of us to divulge deeply on.

But back to the date!

Despite my initial concerns that I would be late, I arrived with time to spare at the cafe. White Coat showed up a few minutes later as I was perusing the menu.

Once we ordered, we sat down at a stable and started on the long process of getting to know each other. And while I was irritated at his online persona, Mr White Coat was much better at the art of conversing in person. Which, in all honesty, isn’t saying much given how he absolutely dropped the ball earlier.

As usual, we talked about our jobs (although he didn’t really pry much into my occupation – which was a little odd now that I think on it), and where his family were located. We didn’t talk much about his hobbies but I did raise the topic of books as I stated that I had recently finished The Frugal Wizard’s Guide to Medieval England by our lord and saviour: Brandon Sanderson. I believe he told me that he got into Robin Hobb at an early age and I said that I fell in love with Trudi Canavan’s Black Magician trilogy back in Year 6.

In fact, most of the conversation was just surface level chatter about a few books that had caught our eye but it never went any deeper than that. Usually, when I talk about books with my friends that are receptive to the topic, I can talk about them for goodness knows how long. 

It and writing are probably the two topics that really engage my interest and have me going on for a good hour if I was allowed to. 

Of course, it’s not just everyone that I get so worked up with.

And with Mr White Coat, there was no spark or chemistry that was keeping me engaged. So, I didn’t talk too much and neither did he. Before I knew it, the churros I had ordered were gone and I was very non-discretely checking my watch.

To be fair, I had informed Mr White Coat earlier that I would have to leave early as I had arranged to meet up with friends later in the afternoon (as I said, it was an excellent excuse) and after 50 minutes in each other’s company, I was headed down to the southwestern suburbs of Sydney to enjoy lunch and friendly chatter with friends that I hadn’t seen in a while.

That and meet up with a fairly docile greyhound named Buttons.

Will Mr White Coat and I go on a second date? 

Yes. Because at time of writing up this post, he’s asked me out on a second date and we’ll be checking out the French Food Festival at Circular Quay. Time will tell how well that date goes but I’ll be sure to keep you, my dear readers, updated on my dating shenanigans.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why Suitor Number 10 is called White Coat, it’s because he’s a lab technician at a high school. So, he’s not even a teacher! BUT he gets to enjoy all the school holidays and not have the stress that comes with a poorly compensated secondary teacher. 

And because he’s a lab tech, he has numerous white laboratory coats. Hence the codename I’ve decided to give him.

Country Lights

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

It’s a yearly tradition that when the weather gets cold and the nights lengthen, Sydney celebrates the coming of winter with a light festival. VIVID has been an annual event for many long years, although I couldn’t tell you when exactly it all began. During the pandemic years, of course, VIVID was cancelled as people were shut inside, but since the ‘official’ end of the COVID-19 pandemic, VIVID has returned with a vengeance. 

Events have even sprung up in other parts of the state of New South Wales. One, of course, was held in the country town of Bowral. Known for its flower festival in October, the town is about a ninety minute drive from Sydney.

So, upon hearing of the event, my mother most definitely wanted to take a look and experience it for herself. She had seen a few videos and photos on the most holiest of phone apps: WeChat and wanted in. Thus, I and a few of her friends were roped in to accompany her for an all-women day trip to Bowral to see the sights and make some great memories along the way!

Of course, knowing that the lights wouldn’t be on until night covered the land, we had set up an itinerary for the day that would take us all around the Southern Highlands.

Our first stop was actually a town just past Bowral. One of my mother’s friends had done a search online for places that would tickle our tastebuds or be visually appealing. After driving down from Sydney, we headed to Berrima. There, we visited a small patisserie shop renowned in the area: Gumnut Patisserie.

As my mother was a lover of all things pecan, she ordered a pecan tart (although a perusal of their website actually advises that it’s a macadamia tart, so who can say), and one of our other members put in an order for a passionfruit tart. Once our coffees, and hot chocolate, arrived, we dug in. After all, life’s short so dessert ought to come first.

Once we had warmed ourselves up, we headed towards Harper’s Mansion. Bult in 1834 by James and Mary Harper, it is now a heritage-listed house. What made it stand out in little Berrima, of course, was the fact that the house was much grander than the other residences in the villages during the time it was built. Most houses in the area were slab cottages. In fact, it was modelled on those favoured by the middle-classes in Sydney with walls that were three bricks thick, laid upon a foundation of sandstone. 

After the Harpers passed away, it was bought by the Catholic Church in 1853 nd was used as a presbytery for the nuns of Daughters of Lady of the Sacred Heart. Later, it was rented out before being sold in 1970.

In 1978, it was acquired by the National Trust who repaired the house and it is now managed by local volunteers that provide simple tours of the house. On its land, however, a hedge maze was built along with an impressive garden. The maze, of course, was a must see and our small group of four Asian women found our way to its centre as well as out without too much trouble.

Our tour of Harper’s Mansion over, we decided to take a gander at the Book Barn. The Berkelouw Book Shop is located on the Bendooley estate, which is a winery. As for the book shop itself, it also serves as a restaurant. Sandwiched between the stacks, tables had been placed allowing guests to wander through and pick up whatever they may wish to peruse for lunch or an evening meal.

If there was a place akin to heaven, this would have been it.

From there, we headed to Bowral properly to check out a family-run vintage and antiques market called Dirty Janes. Lunch would be had at Harry’s @ Green Lane in the 2 PM slot. Why the restaurant only had two lunch slots was a mystery but I had to say that its main selling feature, which I wasn’t able to see a lot of, were the books that were crammed on shelves. 

But while the ones at Berkelouw could be flipped through and read, I had a feeling that the ones at Harry’s were most likely props to sell a particular atmosphere. Which is honestly a shame.

Still, it didn’t detract me from the collection of knives and beautifully displayed insect taxidermy cases that could have been bought at Dirty Janes. I, unfortunately, didn’t buy anything to commemorate it but I must admit that there were some pretty good paper weights to be had. Although, there were also pinned spiders…and that’s a real big fat no from me because they’re terrifying. AND WHAT IF IT WAS REAL?!

After looking through the wares of Dirty Janes, we strolled through the heart of Bowral before heading to the nearby lookout to see the sunset.

Once the sun had set, we headed to Centennial Vineyards where the light show would begin.

Words fail to describe the beautiful array of lights that shone up onto the sky. In an attempt to recreate the Aurora Borealis, so named from Boreas, the personification of the North Wind, the clever minds at the vineyards used light and smoke. To be perfectly honest, I’m unsure why it was called Borealis as Australia has its own name for phenomena that can be seen in Tasmania: Aurora Australis, but I suppose Borealis is the one that most people can identify.

This, however, was no show. Rather, it was a whole event with food trucks and space for families to lay out the picnic blanket to watch the sky above them change from red to green to blue to purple. Were it not so cold, it might have been a lovely night out.

As it was, my hands were near frozen until one of our group went and bought us some hot tea from a nearby vendor.

After about thirty minutes of admiring the colourful night sky, we headed back home to Sydney, which was a whole lot warmer than frosty old Bowral. And where I could catch up on some gaming as I raced to finish off a short indie game as Diablo IV had just released that Tuesday.

And also because SOMEONE bought it for me – the DELUXE edition, no less – despite the fact that I had only joked about friends getting it for me as an early birthday present. I wasn’t serious! And I didn’t expect it to be bought! 

I am, after all, an independent young woman who could have afforded it if I had really wanted it (which, I mean, I was probably going to buy it on the day of its actual release).

So, I’m warning you! They-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! You know who you are! You read this blog!

I AM WATCHING YOU!

Stop being nice to me! I don’t deserve it!

Okay, now that my rant is over, I have to say that the Bowral light show, while not as comprehensive as the one in Sydney still had its highlights. Beyond that, it was a good day out with family and friends in what would prove to be a hectic long weekend in June.

Puzzling Out Compatibility

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Despite my reservations on dating after a string of failures and a lack of contact from hopeful suitors (both Shrek and Benoit were preoccupied with further study), I decided to stick it out for a few more months on Hinge and keep on with the search. After a few chats that went nowhere, suitor number 9 scrounged up the courage to ask me out on a date. It helped that we both had quite a few interests in common, although our weekly routines meant that it was a little hard to organise a date that suited the two of us.

Still, I accepted and we made an arrangement to meet up before his shift at work. Our meeting spot? A Japanese restaurant at one of Sydney’s major tourist traps.

Which, to be honest, was a promising start for Mr Game Master. The Japanese food, that is. Not the ‘going to to a popular bourgeois tourist trap.’ I mean, yes, the Westfield shopping centre had plenty of choices when it came to shopping and I was sorely tempted to empty out my entire savings on board games and a squishmellow Snorlax but that’s getting ahead of myself.

I arrived early at the restaurant and took a proper gander at the menu as I waited for Mr Game Master. With a job title like venue manager, I had expected something far more formal but it turned out he was in charge of a VR experience centre. Previously, he had worked in the field of escape rooms but the pandemic had seen quite a few cuts among staff and shut down actual places of work. Unfortunately, Mr Game Master was one of them.

Dressed in a polo shirt with the logo of the company on the left breast, a cosy vest and a loose slacks, I couldn’t help but feel that I was, once again, the overdressed individual. Still, I said little about it as we entered the restaurant to order.

And just like all my dates thus far, I made sure to pay for my own meal. Once we had made our order at the counter (we had both ordered rolls, although I added a side of grilled scallop that had a decent dosing of salt rather than the usual soy sauce and mayonnaise), we started to chat. Conversation was easy enough. Thankfully, Mr Game Master was also keen to let me in a few words rather than simply talk at me about the latest games or whatever else they were hyperfixated on. Which, to be honest, was a nice change of pace.

We talked generally about the rental market, and I put in a few of my observations from friends and family, the dating scene in general and a few other things that came to mind – like games or shows that were still prevalent in the pop culture zeitgeist, travel and being able to speak/ understand our mother tongue as we are both children of immigrants. I learned that he had a sister and that his parents lived in the north-west of Sydney. 

It was simple ‘getting-to-know-the-other-person’ kind of conversation. I don’t think there was any immediate attraction, per se, but I must admit I didn’t feel any kind of aversion. Which, I think, is a good sign? Goodness knows I wouldn’t know given my proclivity to supposedly judge individuals at first glance and put up barriers (we’ll get to that when it comes to Suitor Number 10). 

Once we had eaten our fill at the Japanese restaurant, we stopped for some gelato before I walked him to his place of work. It was a bit of a strange role reversal but it afforded us more time to talk and make clear our dating goals and/ or expectations. I stressed that I wasn’t someone that instantly fell for anyone and wasn’t entirely sure I’d ever had a crush on anyone, though people in my primary school had said otherwise.

But, although I didn’t tell him this, my experience overseas recently did indicate that I might feel attraction in some form or another. Which often manifests in wanting to be in the vicinity of another and enjoying their company. Unfortunately, this only seems to happen to people that are unavailable for me to actually date and might really just be an indication that I let my guard down more when I know that there’s no real risk of actual heartbreak.

Vulnerability is hard, let me tell you!

In any case, we had a few good chats about our experiences on the dating apps, although it seemed that Mr Game Master might have actually been in a proper relationship for a good long while before it fell apart because he couldn’t quite reciprocate the level of affection his then-girlfriend had and had felt guilty that he wasn’t investing as much into the relationship. 

Which, good for him to acknowledge, but does make it hard when both him and me don’t feel any deep sense of attachment on first glance. But maybe time will tell if it goes any further. More meet-ups, more chats, more getting to know each other and liking that company could possibly lead to something more.

For now, I think it might be best to consider us decent acquaintances or friends. At time of writing, we’ve set up a tenuous second date so, it’ll be interesting to see if it goes further. After all, how can one fall in love with someone they don’t know?

And in instances like these, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Especially as we’re all technically strangers, hoping to find a connection. But relationships are something that need a strong foundation to build from. Right now, Mr Game Master isn’t so important in my life that I’d miss out on the release of Final Fantasy XVI. And while that is no fault of his own, it takes time to build a tight bond. At least for me. And it’s not like I can have someone’s entire life story dumped into my lap, which I can read.

So, here’s to a few more opportunities with Mr Game Master to see where it goes. Unless, of course, it all fizzles out in no time flat and nothing happens. Which, of course, is what has continued to happen throughout my, admittedly, not-spicy romance life.

Or maybe I’ll win the lotto and be so satisfied with my life that I’ll no longer feel the need for companionship. I mean, I’m not opposed to the idea…so you know what? Here’s putting out the wish that I want to win the Powerball lottery and be set for life that I can retire and maybe self-publish a trash fantasy novel.

The Art of Decision-Making

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Tactics Ogre is a game that first released in 1995. It saw a re-release on the PlayStation Portable (PSP) with a revamped title: Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together before emerging once more to grace our consoles as Tactics Ogre Reborn. And as a fan of the Final Fantasy Tactics game, who also thoroughly enjoyed her time with Triangle Strategy, trying out the original inspiration behind these two games was a no-brainer. After all, strategy/ tactical role-playing games have always been able to present the conflicts of war in a both complex and engaging manner, especially when they allow for personal choices to influence the trajectory of where the story may go.

Of course, given this is a role-playing game from Japan, a supernatural element must be inserted. Along with a late-game reveal of the true antagonist. In Tactics Ogre, I was pulled a little from my enjoyment of the story when the initial focus was resolved and the final boss ended up being with a literal demon incarnation of the previous king. 

True, they had sprinkled in some of King Dorgulua’s backstory with Catiua’s reveal but the war between the Gods and the Ogres (whilst present in the opening credits) was mentioned little throughout the game, what with its focus on the repercussions on war. So, the entire exposition with Dark Knights Barbas and Martym felt a little hamfisted in its attempt to introduce the big bad at the end of the game.

In a way, it also dismissed a lot of the earlier turmoil that took up the bulk of the game was insignificant as a God emerged from the depths to rule over the world. Especially as, even though you can have Catiua in your party, her relationship with King Dorgulua is never touched upon during that final battle.

Beyond these little titbits, as well as a few well-worn tropes of disguised royalty, I did still thoroughly enjoy the initial set-up of the game with Denam, Catiua and Vyce rebelling against Galgastan oppression on the Walisters. The internal fighting among the rebellion, the moral dilemma of whether or not to kill your own to drag unwilling participants into war and the underhanded tactics to install a ruler over the land of Valeria was a sight to behold.

In fact, it would have been the preference of this humble blogger if things had remained there with King Dorgulua’s name fading into the annals of history. Or if there had been renewed focus on the nations of Lodis or New Xenobia and what their stakes were when it came to meddling with Valerian affairs.

Given that the game came out back in 1995, though, it’s understandable for why the developers decided to go down the route they chose. Despite the questionable choice of ending boss battle, the game still holds up even today. I would have liked some additional context with the other Ogre Battles and the history of the world I found myself in (this entry being the seventh episode) but I was still able to follow along in terms of the general motivations of the core characters as well as the villains.

This was especially astounding when it came to the choices that Denam had to choose in key beats of the plot. The variations of choice, even dialogue options, had ramification for the ending. Not to mention the Chaos Frame mechanic that was hidden behind it all and could have led to other distasteful outcomes for our main protagonist.

The gameplay for Tactics Ogre is very similar to Final Fantasy Tactics. It includes hiring or recruiting generic fighters to the cause and using them in battle. Of course, there are also unique characters with their own special sprites. But in terms of the actual flow of battle, the unique characters added little. Although, some had special classes that added a little flavour to battles. It should be noted that for every major battle, only Denam, had to feature in them all. The other playable characters could be interchanged with little repercussions. Or dismissed if the need arose.

Just like Final Fantasy Tactics, the game featured an overworld map and when a battle was entered, it would zoom onto a particular map with a grid overlay. Characters can move, use skills and perform one action. The action could range from using spells, items or actually attacking another character. The key to Tactics Ogre’s battle system is not unlike the weapon triangle of Fire Emblem. However, it is switched to six elements. Those being fire, water, lightning, earth, air and ice. 

There is also an unspoken counter system with mages being better placed to counter buffed frontline attackers, mages being vulnerable to ranged attacks from archers, and units with higher defence taking minimal damage from ranged weaponry. Something I only gradually picked up on later as I favoured charging in and trying to destroy everything as quickly as possible.

Mana, like Triangle Strategy, is a limited but rechargeable pool that is empty at the start of battle. This differs from Final Fantasy Tactics, which allowed mages to immediately start raining hellfire onto their foes from the very beginning. It allowed for more tactical positioning as I awaited for enough mana to unleash what spells I had equipped my magic users. Mana was also important for non-magic users too as they were key to using finishing moves that could deal out a ton of damage.

As such, there was a good strong focus on buffing up the magic reserves for all characters. The only downside to this, of course, was how few and far between such mana replenishing items were as they did not appear to be sold at shops and had to be found as drops from enemies or occasionally scrounged up from certain tiles on battle maps.

One important thing I noted when playing Tactics Ogre Reborn was the fact that items, spells and skills were limited. One could not deck out their favourite warriors with 99x of all items. Rather, they could equip four of each. This meant that item usage, spells and skills had to be considered for each encounter. While this led to a few annoying battles where I struggled against certain units (of note, beasts), it did add another layer of strategic thinking to an otherwise excellent game known for the tactics needed.

Especially as there was a level cap for my characters! 

I was utterly devastated to learn that I could not simply overlevel all my characters to decimate the opposition. Rather, my characters were all limited by the ‘Union Level.’ This allowed battles to be even-playing fields and I couldn’t take advantage of better stats to stack the battlefield. A shame, I know, but I made up for it by exploiting crafting and ensuring that my army was well-armed and well-equipped for each battle I went into. If I hadn’t used the exploit and had played it as it was intended, I would have, no doubt, struggled a little more with the game with fewer resources at my disposal and having to better pick and choose the units I took into each battle.

Of course, such things could be counteracted by picking up buff cards that could allow me to deal more damage than my unit might have usually been able to deal out against a particular enemy. It was especially useful against the final boss.

Overall, I enjoyed my time with Tactics Ogre Reborn. While I would have preferred being able to overlevel my units so I didn’t have to fear losing against difficult bosses, it allowed me to think differently on how I engaged with tactical role-playing games. There was even some joy in it when it came to repurposing my units and swapping out abilities and spells when required to deal with a particular annoying foe that favoured certain status effects such as petrification or fear. 

Most of all, what I loved most of Tactics Ogre Reborn was the world-building and the hidden layers within. Perhaps one of these days, I could find a way to play the other Ogre Battle games but for now, I am still quite satisfied with the complex world that was crafted to explore what it means to rebel against oppression and to dream of a fairer and better world.