List of Catchphrases

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

In the week following PAXAus 2025 in Melbourne, SXSW descended on Sydney. With it came a Dungeons and Dragons live show at the International Convention Centre at the heart of Darling Harbour with THE Brennan Lee Mulligan (for those not in know, Brennan Lee Mulligan has a stellar reputation in the tabletop role-playing game scene) serving as Dungeon Master (otherwise known as the DM). How he managed to fit it between what he churns out for Dropout and Campaign IV of Critical Role, I’ll never know, but after seeing Critical Role live back in June 2025, I was not going to miss out on another wonderful show. Enter with me, dear reader, into the world of the Endless Dungeon.

Of course, attending such events on one’s lonesome can be intimidating. Thankfully, I knew the perfect candidate to attend with me.

Though Dikottir and I had been busy since February (with only a brief catchup at PAXAus 2025 where he saw me on the first day as we were heading in), I sent him a private message letting him know of the event. As a fan of Dimension 20 and an active subscriber of Dropout, I knew Dikottir would not miss the chance to see his hero live on stage.

The two of us met up in Darling Square, enjoying a quick meal from Spago and a scoop of Messina, before heading in to the ICC.

The Endless Dungeon, it must be said, is a teeming labyrinth of endless possibilities. Think of me, perhaps, like the dungeon in Dungeon Meshi with its own unique ecosystem including a sewerage ocean and creatures that have never seen the surface. Given its unique design, the dungeon is, itself, the perfect playground for one-shot adventures with all manner of players.

Thankfully, Australia had a number of comedians that were familiar enough with D&D to take to the stage: Jordan Raskopoulos, Tom Cardy, Demi Lardner and Zac Naoum.

While I knew of Tom Cardy (primarily for his YouTube shorts and videos, as well as the fact he was the host for Critical Role back in June), I also tangentially knew Jordan. The others, however, were a mystery though Dikottir was familiar with Demi’s work.

And if there was one word I’d use to describe the adventure on stage I’d have to go with THERAPY.

Why, I hear you ask?

Well, let’s just say Zac’s character was a failed CHOSEN one and Demi’s had a few issues with being sufficiently motivated to live life as a warlock that had a pact with infernal demons. Jordan’s wereshark pirate was still trying to process the death of their wife and Tom was desperately trying to convert the denizens of the Endless Dungeon to his faith about the fantastical sun (while also trying to get any possible followers into a pyramid scheme).

But though I’m loathe to admit it, I found the Endless Dungeon show more entertaining than the Critical Role live-play. This, of course, was primarily due to the fact Matthew Mercer and the rest of the voice acting cast were trying to tell a cohesive story that linked up to the adventures of the Mighty Nein and Bell’s Hells. Endless Dungeon, however, had no such limitations. It was essentially a comedy show dressed up as a D&D live-play with the comedians riffing off each other or bringing back gags to keep the laughs going. Whether it was between themselves or the audience.

Brennan, of course, was an excellent facilitator despite the various attempts from Demi and the others trying to derail the adventure. Always he would bring the party back together, reminding them of the story beats they had almost left on the wayside.

However, as a comedian himself, Brennan was also able to improv his own jokes and punchlines when needed. In fact, he had a few key moments that had the audience roaring in laughter. Especially when he climbed atop the table to pose like a conquering hero ready to dazzle us all with a one-liner.

Still, the synergy between the players and Brennan was electric. And despite the fact it was a worknight, I was able to forget about the hours that passed (until, at least, the intermission). By the second half, though, I was keeping an eye on the time and wondering how quickly it would be brought to an end. D&D being what it is, sometimes poor dice rolls can be disastrous for players. Thankfully, many of them were able to pick up on the hints Brennan left for them and the key villain was able to be vanquished right at 11PM.

Once it was over, Dikottir and I made our way to our respective transportations back home. For me, the trains. For him, the light rail.

Admittedly, I do think he enjoyed The Endless Dungeon much more than I did. Like Sorrengail, Dikottir tends to lean forward in his seat when it’s something they enjoy. Granted, though, the two of them are fairly tall so it might also be a way the two of them can sit more comfortably? As a relatively short person the struggles of being 170cm or higher remains a mystery to me. And I tend to sit back in my seat to allow my legs some room to stretch.

Overall, though, The Endless Dungeon was a great evening out. Would I have preferred it on a Friday night? Absolutely. But such an opportunity is few and far between for us nerds here in Australia.

I, for one, am quietly hoping for the return of Distant Worlds to return to our shores. In the meantime, I’ll take what I can.

Who knows, maybe I’ll even try my hand at writing up my own stand-up comedy set! Goodness knows several people in my life have said I’m funny (though I don’t really see it).

Admittedly, if it allows me to appear on stage with those I admire (from afar), why not?

After all, you only live once right? Why not take what chances you’re given and try something new? And given this post will be uploaded not too long after we ring in 2026, it seems like the perfect resolution to make now that I’ve some freedom.

That said, my love life is still a barren rock. While some of my work colleagues DID tease me and say our outing to The Endless Dungeon was a date, I like to think it was more an outing with a friend. We may still not be besties but at least we’re getting to know each other better? At least this is how this asexual is going to view it.

If anything does come of it, dear readers, you will be the first to know.

Choo! Choo!

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

It was a cold and blustery Sunday morning when bleachpanda and I headed over to the distant suburb of Belgrave. Eschewing the third day of PAX, the two of us had arranged for a train ship out in the quiet Victorian suburbs and to enjoy some high tea once our little steam engine reached its stop at Lakeside. But first, there was the whole ordeal of getting there. Especially with the ongoing trackwork on the line.

Having researched all this beforehand, the two of us woke early. Thankfully, our hotel was close to a local bus station. The bus in question, the 907, took us to station unaffected by the closures. Mitcham is a small commuter railway station on the Belgrave and Lilydale lines.

When we arrived, our train was pulling into the station. Bleachpanda and I quickly descended the escalator and hopped on. From there, it was a another twenty odd minutes or so to the station at the end of the line (as it was an all-stops train and because Belgrave sits about 36km away from Melbourne’s CBD). Once we arrived, we wended our way through the back exit of the station, making sure to tap our Myki cards, as we followed the signs to the one and only Puffing Billy.

According to the pamphlet we were handed as we picked up our tickets, the Puffing Billy Railway was one of four narrow-gauge railway lines built in Victoria back in December 1900 to open up more remote areas. This track, originally spanning 29 kilometres, traced a scenic route from Upper Ferntree Gully to Gembrook (which was once a busy centre for the transportation of timber and farm produce).

During its nearly 125 year history, the railway was closed briefly in 1953 following a landslide and mounting financial losses at the time. Following its closure, though, the Puffing Billy Preservation Society was formed to keep the railway running and it reopened services in 1955 (with further work done in 1962, 1965, 1975 and 1998).

For bleachpanda and myself, we would be taking it only to Lakeside Station.

And what a ride it was!

With our feet dangling out the windows (although technically I was the only one out of the two of us who did it and even then, not for long), we watched the countryside flash past us. Munching on our snacks, we enjoyed a day out looking at nature. That said, it was a little nippy and the two of us, unfortunately, had not dressed as warmly as we should have.

Still, I have to admit, it was good to see train enthusiasts waving at us as we passed them by. There’s something uniquely human in that brief connection that filled me with a sense of wonder.

Once we arrived at Lakeside, we headed towards the the Visitor Centre where the cafe was located for our high tea lunch. Though the sandwiches were passable, I was a little confused at the selection of salami and prosciutto selections at the bottom. The scones, too, were a lot more filling than I expected. That said, they were tastier than the too sweet macarons.

After we finished filling our stomachs, bleachpanda and I took a stroll down past Lake Treganowan in Emerald Lake Park. To our dismay, it started to rain. Fortunately, the two of us had thought ahead (or I did because I was checking the daily forecast) and had brought umbrellas.

While I would have preferred a sunnier day, I suppose I should have been thankful it didn’t storm and turn our entire expedition out into some disaster. We even got to venture through an amateur art gallery filled with paintings of animals and iconic Australian scenery.

The train ride back on the Puffing Billy saw us sit facing the other side (which we missed out on the ride over to Lakeside). Snapping a few shots, I was lulled by the motion of the steam train and my natural circadian rhythm to nap for a few minutes as we returned to Belgrave and ‘civilised’ society.

After we pulled into the station, bleachpanda and I took a gander at some of the souvenirs. I picked up a fridge magnet while bleachpanda spent a pretty penny on a t-shirt for her niece. Then it was back to Belgrave train station. This time round we took the train all the way to Camberwell before taking a shuttle bus all the way to Parliament.

By then, it was nearing dinner so the two of us headed to Ikkoryu Fukuoka Ramen. And while the food was decent (though I did ask for normal noodles and feel like I got hard instead), I felt it was a little overpriced for what it was. Admittedly, it was also a Sunday (which would have added a hefty surcharge).

As bleachpanda and I sat and ate a nice warm soupy meal to combat the freezing temperature outside, I couldn’t help but take in the other patrons. A vast majority were PAX goers that had, presumably, enjoyed their Sunday in the Melbourne Exhibition and Convention Centre.

Stomachs full, bleachpanda and I braved the sudden storm blowing through Melbourne CBD in order to return to our hotel.

The trip to Melbourne had come to a close. While I would have liked it much better if bleachpanda had purchased me the steam paddleboat Lego set at the airport, I like to think it was a good trip. After all, she hadn’t threatened to murder me as much as she did when we were in Japan!

While I can’t say when my next trip will be, I am hoping for a nice extended holiday overseas. Maybe a country with rolling hills and nice cottages that appeal to my sensibilities.

Time will see if my dreams come to fruition.

2026 is a new year filled with all manner of possibilities. Here’s hoping I can find the one thing I’ve craved for as long as I’ve been alive.

2025: Stoking the Fires

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

This year has seen many personal ups and downs. With its end, though, there has been some relief from the burdens I’ve carried as the sole carer for my elderly grandmother. And yet, I cannot say 2025 was a good year. The world continues to be thrown into chaos. Divisons between communities continue to deepen. And hate continues to pervade the headlines.

Let’s start from the beginning shall we?

Perhaps it was apt that 2025 started with an attack on New Orleans where a truck rammed down pedestrians on Bourbon Street. 15 people were killed and another 57 were injured. Fortunately, such worries were brushed aside following the funeral of Jimmy Carter (who had passed in 2024). And then, the unthinkable happened: Justin Trudeau resigned. He would be replaced by Mark Carney, a position he retained following a snap election later in the year.

To appease the new zeitgeist, Meta (parent company of Facebook and Instagram) decided to remove moderation of content on their platforms, as well as to push pages that were more political in nature (primarily conservative).

But all this was quashed by the brutal wildfire in Los Angeles (which, undoubtedly, was a Republican plot to destroy more parts of the Democratic stronghold. I jest, of course, but maybe there is some merit to it? I like to think so, anyway). Many homes, including those belonging to celebrities, were destroyed. The community, though, came together and looked to restore what had been lost.

January also saw the first of a ceasefire from Israel and Hamas. Further strikes would launch in March. There would be another ceasefire and then more conflict. Israel, as always, proving to be the instigator in many of the atrocities in Gaza. As the conflict heated up over the course of 2025, protests would be held to stop the fighting. However, like a cornered animal, Israel would continue to lash out – striking out at enemies in Iran, Syria and even a base in Qatar. It is not until late 2025 that a peace plan is signed though Israel would continue to launch several attacks on Palestinians in Gaza (and even send missiles towards Lebanon).

2025 also saw additional competitors to US generative AI modules, including the likes of DeepSeek (which was created using open-source and at much cheaper costs than US equivalents). While this shakes the market, AI technology would continue to dominate. As of time of writing up this post (Christmas Day), the bubble has yet to burst.

Late January would see Donald Trump ascend once more as the president of the United States of America. This is in spite of the fact he was impeached before AND was found guilty of several felonies. As one of his acts, Trump threatens tariffs for Mexico and Canada while also placing heavy tariffs on China. These would be delayed multiple times but he would later place a blanket 10% for all countries that would go into effect come August. Many other trading blocs impose reciprocal tariffs though there would also be several countries who would negotiate with the US to lessen the blow to their respective industries affected. Even Australia would throw its hat in the ring though the wins were few.

In other parts of the world, Sara Duterte, the vice-president of the Philippines would be impeached. Sweden suffered a mass shooting at a local school. In support of ousted president, Yoon Suk Yeol, there was the rise of the White Skull Squad in South Korea.

Back in the US, Elon Musk would be assigned to the Department of Government Efficiency (or DOGE for short). They would fire many federal workers only to rehire some of them. This was mostly due to the DOGE only having a shallow understanding of many important roles.

The US would also see the mass deportations of Venezuleans to an El Salvador prison despite no proof they were part of criminal gangs. However, it would not stop there. ICE would grab civilians off the streets if they believed the person was an unlawful non-citizen. Mass protests would ensue in several major cities. This, unfortunately, would lead to crackdowns from the Trump administration where the National Guard would be sent in (without the consent of the State governor).

As 2025 marched on, ex-Philippines president Duterte (father of Sara Duterte) would face trial at the International Criminal Court. The Sudanese army would seize the presidential palace in Khartoum following two years of civil war. In Turkiye, protests would erupt as a presidential challenger is detained.

There would also be smaller events including the leaking of US military plans to a journalist who was mistakenly added to a Signal group. Wildfires would ravage Korea and the Unification church in Japan was ordered to be dissolved. In Myanmar and Thailand, a earthquake would kill hundreds. Elsewhere in the world, Pakistan would repatriate approximately 80,000 Afghans who had fled to the country.

Early 2025, with DOGE still running rampant, also saw Tesla stocks fall drastically. Thousands would protest, causing damage to Tesla dealerships or attacking owners of the cars themselves.

In some mixed news, three direwolf pups would be brought back from extinction.

Alas, the world would continue to fall into disrepair. Following an appearance int he Vaitcan city on Easter Sunday, Pope Francis would pass away. In his stead, Pope Leo XIV would be elected. The first American to ever be elevated to such a role.

As we headed towards the middle of 2025, tensiosn would rise between Pakistan and India following a mass shooting in a popular tourist spot in Kashmir. Southern Iran would suffer a chemical explosion, and Spain and Portugal would endure a massive blackout. Back in the US, Trump would sign an executive order to cut funding to public news outlets (a win to many who have lost faith in traditional media though getting the news from social media is, in my mind, presumably worst).

In a complete upset (though it came as a relief to me), Labor wins the Australian election in May. Peter Dutton, Opposition leader, would lose his seat. Reshuffling afterwards, Sussan Ley would take the reins. They would also see a split from the Nationals though the Coalition would reform after a week. The People’s Action Party, another incumbent government, would also win its 14th consecutive election in Singapore.

As the year rolled on, India would strike nine sites in Pakistan. In retalitation, Pakistan would shoot down five Indian aircrafts. Back in the US, Trump would be offered a private plan by Qatar to replace Air Force One. Joe Biden would then be diagnosed with prostate cancer. And, in the state of New york, a Mexican ship would crash into the Brooklyn Bridge.

Prior to Ukraine-Russia peace talks, a massive drone attack is launched on a Russian military base. Ukraine would also hit the bridge between Russia and Crimea (mostly to establish some breathing space). Unfortunately, 2025 would see the tides turn and Russia would gain more ground. As of the writing of the post, no peace plan would be formally adopted.

With many elections across the world, there would be more disruptions: Karol Nawrocki would win the Poland presidential election and Lee Jae-Myung would snap up South Korea’s leading spot. In the Netherlands, the far-right leader would quit the rocky coalition and their government collapses.

Back in the US, the One Big Beautiful Bill passes in Congress. This sees a rift form between Trump and Elon Musk, with the tech billionaire forming a new political party in opposition. Whispers of Trump’s involvement with Epstein would then begin to swirl. Ultimately, the files (heavily redacted) would release in late December.

Summer in the northern hemisphere would bring more tragedy, including severe flooding in Texas, killing hundreds. New York would also endure a flooding and Europe would face ever more severe heatwaves.

Elsewhere, conflict would arise between Cambodia and Thailand.

And as Israel proves recalcitrant in its bombing of Gaza, many countries harden their stance against it and choose to recognise Palestine as an independent state. Including, of course, Australia.

As August rolls through, postal services to the US are halted due to tariffs on goods lower than specific threshold. For Australians looking to send packages over, shipping resumes at the end of September.

September also saw a huge military parade in China featuring the likes of Putin, Kim Jung Un and previous leader of the Victorian Labor Party: Daniel Andrews. In Indonesia, protests break out – mostly against rising injustice and corruption among the elite. Similarly, Nepal also sees violent protests led primarily by Gen Z. The Nepal PM resigns and the capital burns.

Though there are no violent protests, the Prime Minister of Japan resigns (Sanae Takaichi would then be elected as the new leader of the Liberal Democratic Party) and the French one loses a no-confidence vote.

Conflict continues to stoke the world as 2025 rolls towards the end. Poland is forced to shoot down drones purportedly from Russia. In the Philippines, protests continue regarding overt corruption. Electronic Arts (EA) is purchased for $55 billion by Saudi conglomerates and goes private. In the US, Trump claims there is a strong link to paracetamol (or, acetaminophen) and autism (spoiler alert: there isn’t. The real link is most likely between high fevers and their possible impact on developing foetuses).

And, for forty days, the US government would go into shutdown. This was primarily over the lack of subsidies for health care. Following a victory in the New York mayoral election (with Zohran Momdani), eight Democrats would vote in favour to pass the budget in the Republicans favour. Trump would later sign an executive order exempting food from tariffs as inflation on grocery bills begin to bite.

Across the world, though, there would be a student led coup in Madagascar. After the president flees, the military takes over. In France, burglars would steal the Napoleanic jewels from the Louvre.

To the devastation of many, the AWS cloud unit goes down, disurpting hundreds of other platforms and websites. This would happen again when Microsoft Azure goes down. A Cloudflare outage also crashes several sites.

In royal news, the Queen Mother of Thailand, Queen Sirikit passes away. Prince Andrew, following further accusations, is stripped of his titles and is asked to leave the Royal Lodge.

With 2025 nearing the end, both New Delhi and Islamabad suffered a bombing attack. A massive fire would break out in Hong Kong, killing up to 161 people. In Benin, there was a failed coup attempt. But it was the acquisiton of Warner Bros Discovery by Netflix that surprised many. Though the deal has yet to go through, many are fearful what this could mean for the movie industry.

Back in Australia, we saw under 16s banned from social media. And, in a shocking display of cold calculation, there was a mass shooting down at Bondi Beach during a Chanukah event by extremists.

Once again, seeing how the events of the world has shaken out over the course of the year has further outlined how hate and divison had shaped politics and the way many see the world. This has only been further stoked by populist leaders looking to win clout by sowing seeds of fear and taking advantage of the pain many people feel. While I would like to think 2026 would see a return to normalcy, I cannot help but feel like we’re on a speeding train, headed towards disaster. Distrust runs rampant and society is fracturing at the seams. Authoritarianism is on the rise, corruption is rife and many world leaders look first to themselves rather than the people they serve.

But though the outlook looks bad, there is still hope. After each tragedy, people come together in the best of ways. They donate. They check in. And they uplift.

I just wish we got to see the best of humanity more often. Yet selfless acts of kindness are few and far between. And despite my jaded and cynical outlook on life, I cannot help but look for the light. There is too much wrong with the world. Why cannot we, as a people, choose to leave it a better place than we found it?

Rising Sun

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

The Bakumatsu is a pivotal period of Japanese history where the once isolationist nation opens up. More importantly, it marked the end of the feudal shogunate system. In the last two years, I’ve somehow played two video games that were set during this time period. These were Like a Dragon: Ishin! and Rise of the Ronin. The latter of which was the one I completed late October, right after the release of Pokemon Legends: Z-A. Both games, of course, featured key characters from the time period including Sakamoto Ryoma, the various members of the Shinsengumi like Soji Okita, Ernest Satow (interpreter), and the last shogunate Tokugawa Yoshinobu.

While Like a Dragon: Ishin! was a more stylised version of history, set only in Tosa and Kyoto, Rise of the Ronin plays through all the core events including the Battle of Toba-Fushimi, the Ansei Purge and the Sakuradamon incident. And rather than have the player in the shoes of famed heroes, the game centres the story around an unnamed protagonist of the Veiled Edge. Together with their Blade Twin, they watched their village burn down. Filled with rage, they were trained by the Kuraso clan in the arts of combat and assassination.

During one of their first jobs with their Blade Twin, they are sent to infiltrate the Black Ships (the term used to describe Western ships because of the tar used on their hulls), and assassinate Commadore Matthew Perry. Though they are successful at stealing the secret message, they fail to kill the Commadore and the protagonist is forced to escape – leaving behind their Blade Twin.

The overall narrative then sees the protagonist trying to find their Blade Twin even as they become embroiled in the politics of the time, an outside influence to the major events playing out.

In time, the protagonist joins the cause of reforming Japan and bringing about a new dawn. Unfortunately, their Blade Twin, who had survived the earlier showdown with Matthew Perry, desperately wishes to watch Japan burn down in the flames of conflict. Mostly as retribution for their home being destroyed.

While the narrative does marry the events and weave the protagonist’s involvement in a relatively coherent manner, I couldn’t help but feel let down. Primarily because the main protagonist barely speaks (even though they have voice acting). Rather, they serve as a mute side character witnessing historical events unfold before their eyes for most of the game. Their sole contribution being the fact their a dab hand at cutting down their foes (though not all actually die. Merely defeated to survive another day where they might rejoin your side if you change between the pro- and anti-shogunate factions).

This is despite the lengths the game goes to paint their favourable bonds with a vast cast of characters and how it is the power of these bonds that differentiates the playable character from their Blade Twin, also known as the Demonclaw Samurai.

Then there was all the praise lavished upon the protagonist though they never seemed to express their own views or spoke at all during the cutscenes. And don’t get be started on the Veiled Vow romance options. Why would, given their past, would Commadore Matthew Perry actually enter into a romantic relationship with the protagonist? It made no sense!

Is it any wonder I felt let down by the story and the main character?

They just seemed to have no personality beyond the occasional dialogue options available. In comparison, Like a Dragon: Ishin! saw players in the shoes of the one and only Sakamoto Ryoma who infiltrated the Shinsengumi by using a pseudonym: Hajime Saito. Despite the stoicism, there was a clear motivation behind Ryoma’s actions. He had a way of going about the mission he set for himself. Rise of the Ronin’s protagonist, meanwhile, was more often a vehicle to simply move the plot along.

That said, the game itself did have several colourful characters in its cast. I very much liked Kaishu Katsu, Ryoma and Jules Brunet. All of them had unique outlooks on the conflict between the various factions driving events in Japan during the Bakumatsu. Yet, perhaps, in spite of this, they still tried their best to bring about a better tomorrow.

Narrative aside, Rise of the Ronin had a strong foundation for its combat and gameplay. Though I don’t much like Soulsbourne-like combat with a heavy focus on parries and stamina bar, it worked well for the game. The game, though, was made easier with several difficulty settings. Something I did toy with because the timing to parry certain attacks was never as obvious as I would have liked (nor did I like the fact it was mapped to the heavy attack button or that enemies were barely staggered when you were trying to lay in a few combos). Perhaps I could have dodged more in the game but Rise of the Ronin didn’t really reward dodging much (or blocking for that matter).

As for the other aspects of gameplay, the traversal mechanics reminded me of Assassin’s Creed though it was less smooth in how the protagonist scaled walls and scaffolding. While I appreciated the smaller maps, there were still plenty of collectibles to collect (although unlocking where they were was quite easy).

Another thing Rise of the Ronin did well was its grapple hook and glider combo. While I feel like they weren’t integral to the gameplay, it was still fun to zip up into the air and zip across a river. Although, admittedly, my immersion was very much broken when you pointed the glider down and it did not serve the increase glider speed in any perceivable manner. Only by unlocking the ability to fly faster through inventions could you speed up how fast the glider flew.

Beyond these issues, I liked being able to customise the outfits my character wore, as well as the look of their weapons.

Oh, and we got to fight Earnest Satow, who had rocket boots (I think that’s historically accurate)! Still better than fighting Thomas Glover? Who knows. Both of these brief antagonists came out of nowhere.

With that said, Rise of the Ronin did feel very much like an underpolished Assassin’s Creed game. From its focus on history and how it broken down each historical character, organisation, landmark and important event, to even how the player characters ran around while being controlled. There wasn’t anything I would have considered unique, though, of course, I didn’t have to climb towers to unlock more of the map before me.

In that sense, Rise of the Ronin felt like a serviceable game but not quite what I actually wanted. It had its moments of fun but I didn’t fall in love with it.

Perhaps if the narrative had been more compelling, I would have been more invested. As it was, I cared more for the non-playable characters (though the fact you’d often fight them and then be friends again in the next was a little jarring) than the main protagonist.

False Alarm

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Since the return of PAXAus following the disruptive events of the pandemic, I’ve been three times. Yet despite my initial excitement of attending (I mean, it’s PAX! Supposedly the slickest thing for all would-be gamers to attend), it seems fitting my lack of enthusiasm was encapsulated by an evacuation on Day 2. Orderly, though it was, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Especially since my annual pilgrimage down to the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre in October would come to a halt, not with a bang, but with a whimper. And one outside of my control.

The day started off similarly to PAXAus Day 1. Bleachpanda and I enjoyed a hearty breakfast at the hotel before heading down Spencer Street. Along the way, we joined fellow pilgrims heading down to the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre. Many were in cosplay while others sported iconic PAX merchandise.

Given we’d did a lot of shopping the day before (or, in this instance, I did), the two of us decided it was better to look around what indie games were on display and try our hand on a few (if we were so inclined).

But, if I’m being honest? There weren’t a lot of games that caught my eye.

Many on display had chosen to go down a roguelike route while others preferred using deck-based combat. Admittedly, there is nothing wrong with developers choosing to go down this route. It’s just that it didn’t much appeal to my sensibilities.

Take Zodiac Mountain, for example. While the premise of a panda wishing to unseat the twelve other zodiac animals in East Asian mythology was interesting, the gameplay mechanics left much to be desired. Coupled with the fact it wasn’t exactly the most polished game, I quickly lost interest.

The same went for Sinthetic. In fact, I’d even played the demo last year at PAXAUs 2024. But while the flat models for cutscenes had been refined and its cyberpunk influenced world contained a lot of promise, the gameplay simply wasn’t at a level that sold me this was a ‘must-play’ title. That’s not even mentioning the flat textures in so many parts of the world.

Still, there were several games that did catch my eye but didn’t quite sit within my wheelhouse of games I’d play. These, of course, were the multiplayer and party games. The ones you’d break out when guests are over.

As for the ones that I might add to my Steam wishlist? Gateworlds seemed charming enough even if I wasn’t sold on the graphics. There was also another game, The Hell: City Builder of the Dead (thank you Google), that had you building up numerous Cities of the Dead for various cultures (even if there was a typo in their trailer on the exhibition floor). Dikottir would later inform me he, too, liked the feel of the game. The only problem? How tone deaf it was to have victims of natural disasters consigned to the ninth circle of Hell, their souls used as resources to build up my very own Hell city.

And my final real-time strategy game that I might entertain the idea of picking up and playing? Grove Keeper. There was just something about building up a grove instead of cutting down trees for lumber that intrigued me.

Other games that intrigued me included Schrodinger’s Cat Burglar, Enfant and Bones: Wandering Soul. These games all had a distinct style to them that made them stand out from the crowd of other titles on display. Whether or not I’ll follow them until release is still up in the air.

Once we’d had a look at all the upcoming titles expected to hit Steam’s shelves, bleachpanda and I had a gander at the ‘This is an Xbox’ exhibit. Unlike Nintendo, Xbox did not have sectioned areas to play any particular exclusive. Rather, they showcased a trailer for upcoming games coming to Microsoft’s console while also showcasing the various platforms one could play games on including laptops, handhelds and normal PCs. The singular standout moment of the whole affair? Getting a Ninja Gaiden 4 fan.

Stubbornness then had me stake out the line for Pokemon Legends: Z-A. While I’d already pre-ordered the game (as part of a bundle with a new Switch 2), I also wanted to try the demo on display. Bleachpanda, though familiar with the franchise, had not played a new Pokemon game since the Gameboy Advance era. Instead of also partaking of the demo, she stood to the side to watch me figure out the controls and run around Lumiose City to the best of my ability.

It should be noted Nintendo had also brought several other games. These included, but weren’t limited to: Kirby Air Riders, Metroid Prime 4: Beyond and Mario Kart World.

Once I’d satisfied my need for try out an actual triple-A title being showcased at PAX, the two of us hurried to the panel for the Indie Symphony that had been held in Melbourne. Though the talk was informative, I found it a little too self-congratulatory. Even as it focused on the connections fostered by those already in the industry.

Still, at least we got to hear a few renditions of my favourite tunes played by orchestra. But a Distant Worlds concert it was not.

And why were these limited to Melbourne only? I would have loved for an Indie Symphony to make its way up to Sydney!

As the day was coming to a close (and a little hungry since bleachpanda and I hadn’t stopped to consider lunch), we wandered back over to the tabletop section of the exhibition hall. While there, I was tempted to pick up more Disney Lorcana cards but, through sheer will power, managed to refrain. Instead, we made our way to a stall selling dice. However, before I could decide on a set I liked, the fire alarm went off.

Initially, none moved. The alarm went on for several minutes in the background. It was only later when a staff member told us the evacuation was real and not a drill that bleachpanda and I made our way to the doors and petered out into the grass surrounding the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre.

Unsure when we would be allowed back in and already disliking how packed it was within the immediate vicinity, we decided to head elsewhere for a snack. Since I wasn’t able to have eggettes (also known as egg waffles) while in Hong Kong, I was adamant to try some while in Melbourne.

While we munched on our eggettes, we soon learned the centre had been cleared. It had been determined that the evacuation had been caused by someone pulling the fire alarm though there had been no risk or threat to the attendees. In other words: a false alarm.

Knowing that by the time we returned to PAX, the exhibition hall would close, bleachpanda and I then decided to have an early dinner at Katsuhon.

So ended PAXAus 2025 Day 2.

And though I’d attended a third day the year before, I felt two was more than enough for my trip with bleachpanda. For, on Sunday, we’d indulge one of my other loves.

Trains.

Disney Shopping Spree

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

My third year at PAX saw me convince my good friend, bleachpanda, to tag along despite the misgivings I had over the event during the last few years. And while the panels for PAXAus 2025 did not give me much hope for the event, the dearth of many staple exhibitors this year only furthered my feeling to give myself a break. Or, at least, consider PAXAus not as the be-all, end-all event I’d hyped up in my head.

After our day out in Melbourne the day before, bleachpanda and I had a hearty breakfast before traipsing down Spencer Street towards the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre. We arrived at the doors just after 10 AM, entering into the exhibition hall with the day still young.

Almost immediately, we were inundated by the mass of attendees (even on the Friday) and those excited to try the new best thing. Though I was tempted to linger in the indie section, we were quickly drawn further into the hall. Almost immediately, we were queuing for a hobby store selling all things video games and anime-related merchandise. Before I knew it, I had a Ceruledge Funko Pop! in hand and a Tifa Lockhart Adorable Arts figure in hand. How they’d got there, I couldn’t say. It was almost like my body was moving on its own as I handed over my credit card to the cashier.

Then there was a brief detour to the Disney store where, after assessing the prices for Disney Lorcana, I settled instead for a Sven plushie (don’t worry, dear reader, I would indulge in my Disney Lorcana addiction in short order later). Cute toy in hand, bleachpanda and I trickled into the tabletop gaming area. Almost immediately, I zeroed in on the Disney Lorcana stand. While I’d not initially been drawn in by the Collection Quest that was being run, I could not resist the allure of picking up a few booster packs and a mystery bag (this would contain an Azurite Sea Illumineer’s Trove and two playmats). Much to bleachpanda’s amazement (probably because of the sheer amount of money I was throwing away at colourful cardboard cards. And to that I say, it’s DISNEY! As an out and proud Disney adult, it is my DUTY to fall for nostalgia and good artwork of my favourite Disney characters).

Determined not to make Disney my entire personality, bleachpanda and I went around the rest of the tabletop stalls to have a look at what was on offer. While I was tempted by several Disney Villain jigsaws (because the prices were a steal!) and Tea Witch, I settled for getting the core ruleset for Daggerheart instead. And, by the Gods, was it heavy!

After we’d had a quick cursory look at what else was on display, we circled back to Nova to look at their dice. Admittedly, the idea of picking up a frosted glass dice set did tickle my fancy. Alas, I held off and the two of us returned again to the Disney Lorcana stand. Here, I taught bleachpanda a little of the rules before partaking in the Collection Quest (the cards in question being part of the Azurite Sea set. And since, you know, I had an entire trove of the cards, I thought I’d be able to easily find the cards needed). Working with several others on the table, I ripped and tore my way through the packets of cards to find the ones needed.

Suffice it to say, all the people on the table managed to get all four of the promotional cards being handed out. Myself included.

Weighed down by my haul of goodies, bleachpanda and I then headed to lunch at the Boatyard. Though it was the peak of lunch time, we managed to secure a spot near the back of the restaurant.

Once we’d eaten our fill, we headed back in to PAX. This time, however, our goal wasn’t the exhibition hall but one of the many theatres. The reason? To attend a panel definitely tier-ranking video game food. And run, of course, by very serious game journalists.

While it did feel like the panel was the journalists trying their best attempt at improv comedy, I like to think there were some decent discussions on what makes food look oh so yummy on the screen.

Once the panel was finished, bleachpanda and I returned to the exhibition hall. While nothing truly caught our eye, we did try our hand at archery at the Sims stall before enteringthe queue for Blackmilk. True to form, bleachpanda tried to convince me to buy a Pokemon skirt. But while some of the designs were nice, I couldn’t help but be put off by the lacklustre materials used.

In the end, we walked out of Blackmilk empty-handed (of their products, at least) before heading to our last panel for the day: Ghost of Yotei in the Main Theatre.

Yet again the panel did not seem to have the hype I’d wanted. Rather, it felt like an extended advertisement as the developer on stage tried to steer away from any narrative spoilers. And as someone who had already purchased the game, there wasn’t anything I saw in terms of gameplay that further sold me on the premise (I mean, I’ll eventually get to it. I just have such a HUGE backlog at this stage. Which has not been made any smaller by then picking up a new Nintendo Switch 2. If I had an entire year to sit back and play video games, I MIGHT be able to get through the majority of my backlog. Honestly, if I wasn’t as interested in open-world and role-playing games, I would most definitely be more on top of the games I play).

After the panel wrapped up, bleachpanda and I headed back to our hotel on the other side of Melbourne CBD. Mostly so I could drop my heavy bags before we headed out for a late dinner.

I had HOPED for steak but bleachpanda had her eyes on Katsuhon. However, given how long the line was, we changed plans and headed to Dao Noodle instead. While it wasn’t quite my favourite, it certainly brought something a little different to the usual Chinese fare I would have while out in Sydney.

So ended Day 1 of PAXAus 2025.

Already I was dreading how much I would end up spending for Day 2 (spoilers: shockingly not as much since I knew my suitcase was already bursting at the seams and couldn’t fit much more. That said, I could have gotten more Disney Lorcana booster packs if I wasn’t being overly stubborn).

Gridlock Goldilocks

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

It is a feat, in and of itself, to navigate a city even with global positioning systems in our very pockets. Some central business districts, of course, need them. What with their one way streets and confusing configuration. But I , a purported human GPS, have always found Melbourne a cut above the rest with its sensible grid-like structure.

Does it lead to a lot of wind tunnels that threaten to blow one away? Yes, but it also makes tracking down that one elusive restaurant you’ve been meaning to try for years a breeze.

With PAXAus 2025 still two days away, bleachpanda and I made our way to the capital of Victoria. I’d chosen a Wednesday primarily because I wanted to take the time to enjoy our time exploring the city (that said, the two of us had visited it multiple times separately in the past) without worrying about missing the latest gaming showcases in the exhibition hall.

After we had checked into our hotel and divested our luggage into our room, bleachpanda and I hit the streets. Our earlier flight had been around lunch time and we hadn’t had a moment to refuel. Our first stop was a local cafe where the both of us grabbed something relatively light (along with hot drinks). Once we’d eaten our fill, we hurried along the familiar streets to check out the stores any basement-dwelling weeb nerds would actually hang out in.

Those stores being, of course, Critical Hit and Minotaur. Thankfully, both are located on Little Collins Street, albeit at some distance between each other. While bleachpanda was able to buy me a cursed Blue Badger charm, I was unable to find an equivalent present for her. Nor, for that matter, was I able to locate for myself a compact paperback of John Gwynne’s Fury of the Gods. Alas, my wait was to continue before I could complete the collection.

After a late dinner, we returned to our hotel to ready ourselves for the next day: a chill Thursday when others seeking to attend PAX would descend onto the city en masse.

And while the step count for Thursday was one of the highest, I like to think bleachpanda and I got to enjoy a fairly sedate exploration. We started with a visit to the Queen Victoria Markets. Operating since 1878, the QVM hosts a wide variety of fresh produce and specialty shopping for those inclined. It was here we were joined by my good friend Sorrengail, wherein I was able to hand over a gift: a pin of Morag (one of her favourite characters from Xenoblade Chronicles 2). While at QVM, we checked out the numerous stores as we nursed our own cups of hot beverages. There was, after all, much to see and temptations galore.

From QVM, we strolled all the way down Elizabeth Street towards Federation Square. The national museum of screen culture has always been a favourite of mine. And luckily, there was a special exhibition depicting video game worlds from the 1970s to the present. Game Worlds: Playable Exhibition had us exploring the evolution of video games over 50 years: from early text-based adventures to current indie sweethearts like Hollow Knight: Silksong (a game I wouldn’t dare to play because I simply can’t ‘git gud’ enough. Although, Sorrengail did finish it during a late night karaoke out with her work friends).

I have to say, the nostalgia hit me hard when I saw Neopets being celebrated. A browser game filled with many Flash-powered minigames, Neopets was a pivotal moment of my childhood. Logging on each day to feed my pets, having my mum sign a consent form (which we sent to the offices so I could have access to other parts of the game as I was under 13 at the time), and interacting with the world at large. I’d even tried penning my own ‘choose-your-own’ adventure style narratives (though it never went far).

There were, of course, other games on display. But what took me by surprise was a small monument to Dungeons & Dragons. On the screen in the exhibit, snippets of Critical Role, Dimension 20 and a show hosted by renowned GM and player, Deborah Ann Woll were on display. Considering my current obsession with tabletop role-playing games, it was a pleasant thing to stumble upon.

That said, it should have come as no surprise. Many video games have been inspired by Dungeons & Dragons. Least of all, the Baldur’s Gate series, but even Final Fantasy can chalk some of its roots to the dice-rolling role-playing game.

Game Worlds: Playable Exhibition also showcased a number of big name titles including World of Warcraft, Elder Scrolls Online and The Sims. There were also lesser known games like Stardew Valley and Celeste. All of which attendees could sit down and play with for a few short minutes should they so choose.

The ACMI also had a dedicated free exhibition for the Story of the Moving Image. This, too, bleachpanda and I took a gander at. While there were no longer Thor costumes, there WERE a few iconic displays including a spin table for Cuphead.

Feet tired, bleachpanda and I desperately tried to find a place to sit and refuel. We stopped at ShanDong MaMa Mini in a offshoot street along Flinders Lane.

Energy restored, we ventured to our last tourist attraction for the day: SEA LIFE Melbourne Aquarium. And while there IS a SEA Life aquarium in Sydney too, there were also vast differences for what was on display. Prices, too, were far more expensive than I’d initially anticipated.

Still, I got to see a few curious cephalopods, those being the cuttlefish and an octopus, as well as a host of sea dragons and sea horses! More importantly, I got to see a host of penguins (and not just cute fairy penguins but KING and Gentoo penguins).

Honestly, the penguins made my day. I loved watching this silly goose of a penguin try and pick up rocks – only to have them slide back down on the ice. He and his mate even had to fend off another penguin looking for rocks to fill his own nest.

It was glorious!

On a side note, the aquarium also hosted a number of reptiles including snakes and lizards. While it was a little strange to me as to why they would be on display, I didn’t let it deter my overall enjoyment.

After we departed SEA LIFE Melbourne Aquarium (with some hefty spoils from my end including an octopus mug and an axolotl plushie), we returned to our hotel. Once we’d recuperated enough, we stumbled over to dinner at nearby La Cucina.

Day 1 of PAXAus was just around the corner.

Why Do We Fall?

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Skimming through reviews and impressions on the internet, the one thing that stands out is how Owlboy is a game all about failure. And I get it. Otus, our protagonist, has a hard time of it. When he’s sent out on patrol to look out for pirates, his village is inadvertently attacked. Then he fails to save the city of Advent from Captain Molstrom’s wrath as they use the power of a lost forgotten relic. But while these are pivotal story moments that later culminate at the climax of the story, I feel the themes of friendship, sacrifice and vulnerability are at the true heart of Owlboy. For it is the bonds we forge and share with others on our journey that push us to be more than we are alone.

Releasing nigh on nine years ago, Owlboy is considered something of an indie. While it is no Hollow Knight, Tunic or Hades, there is a charm to it. From its graphics to the complex worldbuilding and even to the colourful cast of characters.

Owlboy casts the player in the role of Otus. A meek mannered boy trained in what it means to be an ‘owl.’ Of course, he’s not quite an anthropomorphic owl or an actual bird (though the design of his brows might say otherwise). Rather, he is gifted a magical cloak that gives him the ability to fly. And under the watchful eye of his mentor, Asio, Otus is tasked with protecting the village of Vellie.

Like many protagonists before him, Otus is mute. This is something directly pointed out by many of the other characters. That said, Otus is able to trill in delight and use other means of communication with his friends.

Yet during my time playing the game, I could not felt but feel like Otus’s mutism was a perfect metaphor for how men interact with each other in society. Instead of being able to talk back or communicate the pain he undergoes, Otus is only able to accept the harsh criticisms of his mentor – a man who unfairly scorns his pupil despite his best efforts. Even his allies and friends impose their own ideals on Otus. For example, when Geddy teleports away after Twig joins the group following their journey to Stratos.

But despite these setbacks, Otus persists in his efforts.

And it is through this he is able to put a stop to Molstrom’s ambitions. More than that, he becomes pivotal to saving the world.

Otus’s story, then, in my mind is about hope. It is about overcoming the challenges before you instead of falling into despair.

It is also, of course, about failure. As anyone will tell you. Failure is a fact of life. While yes, sometimes, it is an indicator to turn one’s attention elsewhere, it can also be a lesson on persistence. For, without trying and failing at something, how can we improve? How can we iterate and make change in the world? How can we learn?

This is evident in the menagerie of allies Otus has to help him in his quest. Geddy, Alphonse and Twig. All of them choose to learn from their mistakes and make amends. And though it might sound cliche, it is through the power of friendship and cooperation, that they’re able to bring forth a brighter future for the world. A lesson they try to also impart on Solus (technically the titular Owlboy of the game who is so intent on saving the world from falling apart he is willing to ally with a power-hungry robot pirate captain and see the capital of Advent be destroyed to retrieve special relics needed for a spell) as they battle up in the heavens (because, I don’t know, Solus can’t find five minutes to explain why he’s doing what he’s doing. Owlpeople, COMMUNICATE! Why is it so hard?)

But though the core team of allies are men, I do like the number of strong women also evident in the world. There was one soldier Otus manages to rescue who, in spite of an injured leg, was still able to kick enemies away. Then, there was her ally, an elderly woman who could wreak everything with her destructive prowess.

Narrative aside, the gameplay was simple and intuitive to pick up. Especially since I started playing the game while on my trip to China (and didn’t quite finish it until I returned). Even with the brief intermission of wrapping up Two Point Hospital, I was able to pick it up from where I’d left off and have the story wrapped up in only a few short hours (something I was grateful of because there are still TOO many games in my long backlog of games).

That said, I did have a few gripes with it. Though Otus is able to dodge roll both on the ground and in the air, it does not give the character any invincibility frames. One cannot simply dodge into or out of an attack. What’s worse was how difficult it was to figure out the hit box for Otus – especially when he’s flying and his makeshift owl cloak wings would occasionally clip through the background.

I also found it challenging that Otus’s only form of attack was to use his friends. While he can spin to hit enemies, this move primarily only stunned. It did not kill them. But your allies, too, are hampered in their abilities. From how Alphonse is required to recharge his explosive shotgun blast to Geddy’s limited power with his peashooter gun, and the inability of Twig’s webs to actually cause much, if any overall damage.

Then, of course, there was the whole ‘stealth’ portion near the end of the game that had me struggling because the mechanics were not really built around it. And the platforming section where the castle up in space began to break down. Despite these pain points, I still enjoyed my time with Owlboy. Admittedly, the gameplay could have been tighter but after a few abortive attempts, I was able to push through to the end.

Owlboy, it must be said, is not a perfect game. According to Wikipedia, it spent the better part of a decade in development with a few do-overs before the developers found their footing. And while there are parts where the game could be improved, these individual little failings when combined make for a stronger cohesive game that manages to shine. More importantly, it manages to deliver a strong message on a heavy theme not many stories have been able to tackle well before or since.

So, I ask you, then. Why do we fall?

The answer? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

On a side note, I also liked the hidden lore of the owls from the past. How the world came to be and what the mysterious ‘Loop’ they tried to escape would most definitely make for a delicious plot point should the developers ever make another game set in the same world. That said, it did have a few echoes of Final Fantasy XVI with how Otus sacrificed himself and then fell from on high down into the ocean.

Holistic Management

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

When people ask me what my favourite game is, I usually give them a comprehensive list of any and all narrative driven open-world role-playing games I’ve played in the last two decades. Think Witcher 3, Dragon Age, Like a Dragon or something within the Final Fantasy line-up. Or, mayhap, if I’m feeling a little bold, I’ll offer them something a little more streamlined like Uncharted or Life is Strange.

But while it is usually the story that pulls me along, I do tend to play almost all aspects of a game before the credits roll. And so, often within the games I play, there are minigames that may occasionally feature extensive management mechanics.

While I did enjoy my time looking after a cabaret club or running a confectionary company, I never once thought I would enjoy playing a game where managing was the sole focus.

Enter: Two Point Hospital.

I never thought I’d ever want to be the administrator of a hospital. As I child, I did play the occasional simulator in the vein of Simcity or The Sims but they were never able to capture my attention for long. Then, of course, there were the distractions I had on my phone to keep me entertained for a few short minutes like Mini Metro or Game Dev Story.

Yet there was something about Two Point Hospital that caught my eye. Maybe it was the irreverent British humour. Or perhaps it was the graphics.

I, for one, would like to contribute it to watching a few snippets of the game on popular gaming channels (like Oxbox and Oxboxtra that finally sealed the deal for me).

After all, I also bought both Two Point Campus and Two Point Museum before even getting a chance to properly sit down and try my hand at the actual games (technically a lie since I did play a demo of Two Point Museum while at PAX in 2024). Worse, they sit on my Steam account, mocking me. All ready to be played if only I could free up some time from my busy life (and extensive backlog).

Still, now that my mother has returned to Australia and I’m no longer left in the lurch of being the primary caregiver for my ageing grandmother, perhaps there will be more time to live my life…in the world of make believe. Gods know I need it considering the chaotic nature of the world as it is now.

All I can say is that I’m glad I’m not an American citizen.

But speaking of looking after the elderly, Two Point Hospital is all about turning the art of providing hospice care to the sick and dying into an enticing addiction. Though I can’t say how they did it.

Perhaps, of course, it’s merely the perfectionism in me seeking to create efficiency that fuelled my 50 hour playthrough. Or maybe the developers have actually stumbled upon a simple formula that can easily capture the attention of gamers everywhere and mixed it with good humour and excellent mechanics.

It’s certainly a mystery. One I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to solve.

Despite the fact that from a narrative standpoint, there was no overarching story beyond a few snarky comments about helping out the hospitals already in disrepair across the fictional country that the game is set in, I found myself hooked onto the game. There was something about being an omniscient God-like hospital administrator that scratched some part of my brain. After all, it’s not every day I get to hire staff, assign their duties, set up specific policies and build rooms to fit inside my ever growing health care empire.

As the hours passed, I soon found there was a rhyme and a rhythm to the game itself – from building one’s first GP clinic to setting up a pharmacy or ward in quick succession to help rake in the cash. In later levels, where you started with a lot more money, this meant creating training and marketing rooms to speed up the initial cash flow. After all, no clients meant no diagnosis. No diagnosis meant no treatments. And a lack of treatments meant a lack of revenue.

The only major downside I found? Not being able to template my rooms from previous levels. While I could copy and paste the ones I’d made in a level, the same could not be said when I would finally move on and start anew in a different town.

Of course, if that were possible, my play time might have been a lot shorter than it ended up being.

That said, kitting out a room was fairly therapeutic. Making sure I had a nice looking room (before filling it with all manner of gold star awards) was paramount to increasing the happiness of both staff and patients. And though it might have been tempting to cover every square inch of them with a slew of items, I soon found a quick sure-fire way to keep them understated but still maintain a prestige of four or higher.

By game’s end, I’d be swooping in to check in on the staff I’d trained, being amused by the antics of patients, or simply ensuring I had enough janitors on hand to keep the ghost population down.

Of course, deciding when to call it quits was a difficult thing. In the end, I aimed solely to earn my gold star from the last level and have the credits roll. With it, I was able to put it to rest and move on.

While I don’t know when I’ll get to the other two Two Point games, I’m sure they’ll be a barrel of fun. Even after taking a brief break (I thought I’d be able to finish the game before I travelled to China but alas, I was unable to do so), I was able to pick it back up with ease. That said, following on from their three major successes, it’ll be interesting to see what the team at Two Point Studios decide to tackle next. Will it be theme parks? Or will they try their hand at something a little less grand?

On a side note, you just have to love the puns they come up with for all the illnesses and how they’re all represented. Being lightheaded means having a light bulb for a head? Animal magnetism involves having a ton of animal plushies stuck to you? Give whoever came up with those ideas a RAISE! I’d never thoroughly enjoyed seeing such wilful glee in coming up with the most unabashed names for terrible (and life threatening) illnesses ever!

The Whispering Stars (Part 5 + Epilogue)

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

All good things must come to an end. And so it is with my short story. That said, I did share this with a family friend and she loved it. She also encouraged me to maybe see about turning this into a series of short stories and having it published (but also using it as an interconnected world). Not going to lie, I did think about it. There’s so much more I can do with the surviving characters in this.

Of course, I doubt I’ll keep the narrative in Strommouth.

I’m thinking…

New Orleans. A seance. Chaos. Mayhem!

And maybe a parallel universe or two?

As my thoughts percolate, though, here’s the last part of The Whispering Stars. I hope you, dear reader, enjoy!

Though it was the height of summer, a persistent drizzle remained hanging over Strommouth. In spite of it, the mercury climbed as the heatwave rolled through. The days saw me standing in front of the empty fridge in naught but my birthday suit, conjuring up more and more fantastical ways to cool down. While the nights had me tossing and turning, unable to find comfort even in sleep.

Always, the voices droned. Loud in my ears.

It was unbearable.

Frustrated with yet another restless night, I quietly slipped out of bed in only my thin nightgown, put on my pink slippers and hobbled to the front door, leaving my cane behind. I opened the door, hoping for a cool breeze off the sea. But the air remained stagnant. Muggy.

I took a step out. Felt the droplets on my skin.

And wondered for the first time in a long time how things had gone so disastrously wrong in our little village.

The loneliness that struck me then was sharp. Had it truly been two years without Greg’s arms holding me? His rough voice soothing me after a nightmare? Or even his laugh ringing in the room when he watched something on the idiot box?

Closing my eyes, I tried to conjure up his face. Yet the only thing I could picture were his yellow parka and silly green wellies.

‘Patrice.’ The voice was so faint, I’d almost thought it a trick of my mind. Then it came again. Calling me.

Before I could think better of it, I followed. It was as if something was tugging me along. Like a chain had been hooked to something inside my chest.

It led me down through the small side streets of Strommouth, bypassing the main road.

Though the hour was late, others had emerged from their homes, faces turned upwards and a blank look in their eyes. Almost all of them members of the Sons of Deimos.

 A cold shiver went down my spine at the sight. There was nothing natural about it.

Something had a hold on the people. Had a hold on me.

I tried to stop.

But my body would not listen.

It was like I was a prisoner inside a weathered husk. Powerless to do anything but bear witness to the events playing out before me.

Was this how the others had vanished? Inextricably called to their doom by a mysterious voice none else could hear?

Desperate, I even beseeched God to strike me down. But my prayers seemed only to land on deaf ears.

That is until I felt hands clamp down hard on my shoulders, pulling me to a stop.

The faces before me were unfamiliar. One of the three was a big man with skin almost as black as sin. His long rope-like strands of hair, tipped with white, had been pulled back. It was at odds with the tweed suit he wore. If it had been Halloween, I might have mistaken him for dressing up as a certain archaeological professor.

To his right was a young woman with short brown hair, perfectly coiffed. She wore heavy thick glasses and an outfit my mother would have called vintage. Despite the late hour, her cheeks had a light dusting of powder on her cheeks and her lips had been freshly rouged red. As if she had thought Strommouth was the Ibiza of the United Kingdom and not the dying fishing town in the arse-end of nowhere (of course, no one in their rightful mind would have gone for such a strumpet. Except maybe Stevenson. But he was dead).

The last member of their motley party was a mousy looking man. He had a thin pencil moustache that matched the way he slicked his hair back. Unlike the others, he wore a waterproof windbreaker, tan slacks and hiking boots. The only sensible attire when it came to our small corner of the world. And not like he had stepped out of some strange noir novel.

All three spoke with a terribly garish American twang. One I had a hard time understanding let alone answering as I was inextricably pulled down the street.

None of them followed. They were too busy trying to figure out what was wrong with the others. Not knowing of the siren call holding us in its grip.

From the sealed pavement and cobblestones of the town centre, I was soon trying to navigate loose pebbles and sand. The fact I did not roll my ankle was a feat in and of itself as I navigated the beach in the dark. For the fiftieth time, trapped in a body I could no longer control, I wished I’d had the foresight to change from slippers to actual sensible walking shoes.

‘Patrice.’

The voice came again. Much more insistent than it had been before. Overriding the whispers that had haunted me day and night.

I followed its call, stumbling over towards the sheer cliffs.

Had it not been for whatever otherworldly forces guiding me, I would have missed the narrow entrance. Especially with the rain and the high waves threatening to crash around me and pull me into the wild sea.

There was a singular moment, as I’d clambered across the slippery rocks, when I thought I saw my death fast approaching. I’d tripped, slippers flying, before regaining my balance though the muscles in my left leg protested and my knees threatened to give out.

Despite it all, I was able to squeeze my way through the side of the cliff face and into the cave just before the roaring waves came crashing down. As I did so, though, I knocked into something lying on the ground; big toe screaming in protest. It clanked, loudly, against the rock before coming to rest not too far from me. When I finally found it in the dark, it felt like something almost cylindrical in shape though there seemed to be sharp ends at each end. One end was flat while the other had a handle.

I took whatever it was with me. There was no telling what I might encounter further ahead. Besides, it seemed heavy enough that I could use it as a possible bludgeoning weapon. Always a necessary tool when something beyond mortal comprehension was drawing you into a dark cavern.

For several minutes, I bumbled around until, foot snagging on the ground, I found a small opening. Peering through the gloom, I made out what looked like a blue flame dancing at the end. Drawing me ever onward.

‘Help me,’ it seemed to say. ‘Please.’

Was it me or did it sound oddly like Greg?

I quickly dismissed the thought. It was impossible. Greg was dead. He had been for almost two years now.

And yet…

With stumbling, wobbling steps, I pressed on. As I reached the end of the tunnel, the flame seemed to leap towards me. I flailed. Trying to get out of its way. With great embarrassment, I fell onto my arse and dropped what I’d been holding.

The flame settled into the heavy clunky lantern. One I was finally only able to make out in the light. It was not unlike the one that had featured in my dreams.

For several minutes, I stared at it.

I had heard of these things. Will-o’-the-wisps. And, in my foolishness, I had chosen to follow instead of running in the opposite direction (not that I could’ve. Even if I had, there was no telling I would have been safe. I’d followed a disembodied voice into a cavern, for God’s sake. Death was sure to follow – though I’m getting a little ahead of myself).

When it proved to be no threat, I shakily got to my feet. The flame remained within the lantern, shedding its eerily glow. As if it waiting for something.

Ever so hesitantly, I reached out and picked up the lantern. As I did so, more flames flickered to life to the left of my vision. It was only then that I realised the caves went deeper.

Worse, that I was meant to follow.

Mustering what little courage I still had, and knowing I could not afford to turn back, I straightened my spine and headed deeper into the unknown.

After what felt like hours of mindless meandering, the tunnel opened up into a massive cavern. Stalactites, sharp and toothlike, clung to the ceiling. Matched only by their mighty siblings growing from the ground. Red candles, all of differing lengths, led up a shallow incline. At the top sat a ritualistic altar of some kind.

Scattered on the ground next to it were half decayed bodies.

Who they belonged to, I could not say.

My attention, instead, was fixated on the figure standing next to them. Their hunched back was turned to me, making it hard to discern their identity. In the light of the lantern, all I could make out was dishevelled hair, matted with grime.

Without warning, they lurched backwards, seemingly groaning in pain. They whirled in a mad stumble. One hand reached out to me. The other covering their face. And a third flailed wildly.

‘Keep away! Don’t look at me!’

That voice. Where had I heard it before?

Before I could even parse the anomaly of whatever thing was before me, a log of an arm swept towards me, flinging me against the slimy walls of the cavern. I hit with a sickening thud; air rushing out of my lungs

For several minutes, I lay on the ground. Dazed. The pain I should be feeling just out of reach. Closeted perhaps in a separate part of my brain. Though I knew it would be excruciating when it finally managed to batter past whatever defences my mind had thrown up.

The lantern lay beside me. Broken as well. Next to it hovered the strange blue flame that had accompanied me thus far.

Ever so slowly, I regained my senses. As I did so, I raised my head.

Up ahead, the monstrosity was muttering to itself. Though he kept his voice low, it carried in the cavern.

‘Oh God, oh God, oh God. That was Patrice. I don’t want to hurt her. Stop making me hurt the people I care about. Just—shut up! No. You don’t understand. This is not me. I don’t want this. I never have.’

Before I could scramble away and out of sight, the creature turned.

And in the glow of the blue flame, I caught a glimpse of his face.

Nicholas.

Except where once he had been the perfect picture of a handsome young lad, he now sported pustulant sores along the left side of his neck and chin. A fresh new scar, too, adorned the brow of his bulging right eye.

Noticing my gaze, he tried to turn away. As he did so, his whole body seemed to ripple. Like something lived beneath the surface of his skin and was ready to burst out.

The image of the alien ripping its way out of a man’s chest – a scene from my favourite film – flashed through my mind. Greg and I had watched it when it first released in cinemas.

Another happy memory turned sour.

I should have known from the start Nicholas was more than he appeared to be. He had always been a little too perfect.

Too handsome. Too nice.

‘You should not be here, Patrice,’ said Nicholas, two hands covering his face so only his eyes could be glimpsed, voice strained. ‘Why did you come? And how did you find me? No. Don’t answer. They sent you here, didn’t they?’

At first, I was confused. Who was this ‘they’ Nicholas mentioned?

‘Got to you as well, didn’t they? Do you hear them even now? How they whisper?’

It was only then that I realised the chanting I’d known for weeks on end had finally gone silent. No longer was my body acting of its own accord, held spellbound by whatever unnatural forces that had possessed it earlier.

I was free.

‘Nicholas, what’s going on? What has happened to our village?’

‘Isn’t it obvious?’ replied Nicholas, his tone wry and sardonic. ‘Agnes had the right of it. By the end. The only way to escape is through death.’

‘I don’t understand,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘You need,’ he started, looking me directly in the eye, ‘to kill me.’

For a moment or two, I blinked dumbly at Nicholas, mouth hanging open. ‘What?’

Nicholas motioned to the altar. ‘There’s a knife. Thrice blessed and forged from the life of innocents. You need to use it—’ With a pained groan, Nicholas doubled over. ‘Hurry!’

I did not need to be stopped twice. Despite the pain in my joints and, presumably, internal bleeding from the battering I’d just suffered, I scrambled to my feet. With hurried steps, I staggered towards the altar. As I reached it, I glanced over at the unassuming man I’d known.

With a terrifying howl, sharp spines erupted from Nicholas’s back, splitting skin. Then, before I could blink, a long prehensile tail burst forth. It whipped around wildly, knocking aside some of the lit candles beside him.

My hands closed around a leather-bound book before finding purchase on the cloth-wrapped grip of a blade of what appeared to be black steel.

But though I now had a weapon in hand, I did not feel reassured. What could I really do against a hulking ten-foot monstrosity? Yet, if not me, then who?  

Strommouth was already in dire straits.

If I did not put a stop to this madness, I was as good as dead.

Girding myself as best I could, I tightened my grip on the dagger. I could do this.

No. I had to do this.

Whispering a prayer to God, I held the blade out in front of me and then rushed forward. My intention was to strike him from behind, probably somewhere between his second and third spine. It was my attempt at mercy.

He had wished for death. Right? I was doing him a favour.

To my dismay, he turned at the last minute.

Still, the blade sank deep – inches away from where his heart should have been. Nicholas roared. No longer did he sound like himself. It was animalistic. Raw.

His new tail came out from nowhere and swept me off my feet even as he pawed at the dagger. Failing to find purchase on the hilt, he whirled to me, his eyes shining a reptilian like yellow.

He came towards me. And in his approach, I could feel a malevolent otherworldly presence.

I closed my eyes as he raised a hand, readying myself for the end.

Seconds passed. Then a minute.

Yet the end did not come.

When I finally felt brave enough, I opened my eyes again to see Nicholas seemingly wrestling with himself. He glanced my way, expression softening. ‘Make sure to burn my body, Patrice. The book too. Make sure…it never sees the light of day,’ he said through gritted teeth.

Before I could think or react, Nicholas ripped the blade from his body and pierced it again. Right where his heart was. A purplish glow seemed to emanate from where he had pierced himself. It grew to envelop him with each deadly pulse. The energy built until finally, with a terrifying earth-splitting scream, Nicholas exploded.

Purple beams struck the walls of the cavern. Try as I might, I was not fast enough to escape. One stray beam struck me in my bad leg.

Pain, unlike anything I’d ever felt, raced through my entire body. It consumed my every thought before it all went dark.

~

I woke to the soft glow of the dancing blue flames of the will-o’-the-wisps and the return of the whispers. They floated around the body of Nicholas. Or, whatever Nicholas had become.

To my amazement, one by one, they gently brushed Nicholas’s body. Within seconds, he was alight. After determining I was none the worse for wear, I dragged myself to my feet and once more stumped up to the altar where I’d last seen a book. It was this I assumed Nicholas meant.

Necronomicon read the title.

I picked it up and walked back to Nicholas. As the scent of burning flesh reached my nose, I tossed the book into the inferno. The pages quickly aflame.

As they did, the whispers rose into a piercing screech. It continued like this for several minutes before the voices quieted down to a dull angry hiss. One plan had been foiled but there would always be another.

How I knew this, I could not say.

But, for now, Strommouth was free of the nightmare that had held it in its grip for nigh on three years.

My first step out into the clean open air, the noon sun beating down on my face, brought with it a sense of relief. As if something heavy had finally been lifted from atop my chest.

I could finally breathe.

No. Strommouth could finally breathe.

It may not have come away from it unscathed, but the village I had called home was still standing tall. The people were strong. In time, we would rebuild.

As I looked up at the blue sky, hope filling my heart, the whispers came again.

Enjoy this while it lasts, they seemed to say. We will be waiting.