Death on the Nile

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

The night passed without much incident as the boat powered upstream (and further south) towards Edfu. A shame really, as I had been busy practicing my faux French Belgium accent to impress upon the others in my tour group of my deductive ability as a modern day Asian woman version of Poirot.

“Zere ‘as been a murderrr!!”

Alas, it was not to be.

In fact, the only ‘death’ to truly be considered on the cruise was the dearth of free wifi, leaving many of the older guests with nothing to do. Thankfully, I am easily entertained if presented with a book. And I had also packed my Nintendo Switch OLED with me, jam-packed with hundreds of tracks from the Final Fantasy franchise – for which, Ansem did not share in my entusiasm and fell a few pegs down in the rankings of a potential future beau – which meant I had all the things I needed to keep my interest from flagging. That and my trust journal (from which this blog post derives from. Go me!)

I suppose I should also give a review of the Jaz Celebrity, the ship that we were on, but I doubt you, dear readers care too much for a floating hotel. Yes, it featured a pool on the upper decks and a bar on the second floor but given the proclivities of a large group of mostly elderly Chinese woman, including Popo, their primary interests were mostly napping, trying to get a decent signal to post things on WeChat and heading to the dining hall for the required three meals per day. 

The only people that I witnessed frequenting the sun deck and the bar were the cruise ship’s other guests. Namely, the guests that had come from France and Spain. Never in my entire life have I heard so much ‘merci’ and ‘d’accord’ in my life on a daily basis.

Anyways, back to old decrepit ruins!

Our first destination for the day, after arriving at Edfu, was a visit to the Temple of Horus. Despite its distance from the Nile, it too had been buried by desert sand until it was later excavated in the late 1800s. It was so buried, in fact, that passing travellers that had set up camp had stained the very top of the Crecian columms (done in either Ionic or Corinthian style according to my untrained eye) black.

Ahmed, our erstwhile local guide pointed all this out for us before explaining a little bit of Ancient Egyptian mythology. But, I must admit that I was tickled pick by the story he chose to tell. For it was the love story of Osiris and Isis. As well as the very jealous and covetous Set (or Seth based on alternate spelling). And time, though, I was used as a prop to the narrative our guide was telling the other guests. In fact, I played Seth’s wife, Nephthys! 

In any case, the story Ahmed told was how Set was jealous of his brother, Osiris, and had a sarcophagus built in just the right size to fit his brother. He asked the other Gods to try to fit inside during a party, with Osiris being the only one that could fit snugly inside. When Osiris was ensconced inside, Set shut the lid and tossed his brother into the Nile. He later then recounted the subsequent butchering of Osiris into 14 different parts (representing the 14 regions of Egypt at the time).

He had to tell this story, of course, to explain the birth of Horus, the son of Osiris, and the very reason for the temple we stood in.

Crammed full of tourists from all over the world, we were able to squeeze our way to a few key areas, snap a few photographs and learn a little more about one of the oldest civilisations known to man. Such as the fact that they had wi-fi! Okay, the last was a joke. The Ancient Egyptians did NOT have wi-fi but one of their hieroglyphs (supposedly to denote racks of meat) looked very much like the current symbol we use to express the internet.

By 9:30AM, we were back on the cruise ship and headed to Kom Ombo. To while away the hours, I lounged around the ship, read a few pages of my book: The Silk Roads: A New History of the World (mostly to appear smart and learned) and played a few select songs from the Final Fantasy franchise.

After a hefty lunch and some afternoon tea on the sun desk, our ship finally pulled into Kom Ombo and most of the tour group disembarked to take a gander inside.

Unlike most other temple Kom Ombo was dedicated to two gods. Horus and Sobek. The story here was that Horus and Sobek were meant to represent the body and the mind. Sobek, our great crocodile-headed God was displeased by the offerings that were provided to him. As such, he and Horus had a disagreement which resulted in Ra flying off alone. Left alone, Sobek began demanding more and more from the local populace until they realised that in searching for gold and jewels to appease the gold, they had not planted the next harvest and would starve to death. Desperate, they prayed to Sobek for aid, but being a representation of mental fortitude, Sobek was unable to bequeath the people the physical strength needed to labour underneath the harsh sun. 

Seeing no recourse, Sobek was then forced to beg Horus for assistance. When Horus returned, granting the people the strength they needed to farm the land and survive the winter, Sobek was grateful and agreed to share the Temple again with his fellow god. 

The moral, therefore, at the end, was that a healthy balance was required between body and mind. It also encourages people to listen to both sides of a story before passing judgement. And it was also something a lesson in moderation. For too much indulgence can lead to sloth, but too much labour with too little rest can also prove detrimental to one’s body.

That aside, Kom Ombo is also famous for its depictions of surgical tools. There was even a specific hieroglyph of the ‘correct’ form for birthing a child!

Such discoveries have helped inform our understanding of this ancient world and how it functioned. For the Ancient Egyptians were not so different to who we are now, except maybe they were far smarter than we ever thought possible. Indeed, a lot of what I’ve learned and seen with my own two eyes will prove invaluable in constructing the fantastical worlds I want to create in a so-called fantasy setting.

I do, after all, have a story planned in my head with the central setting a city in the desert. Now, I have the first-hand experience to help me build it!

So, stay tuned, dear readers, one and all for further observations from good ol’ Kyndaris of Ancient Egypt and beyond.

Oh, and there was also a crocodile museum! With mummified remains! How crazy is that? Clearly dissection was not something that only came about in the 17th-18th century and anatomy was clearly something people in the ancient past were already exploring.

Jewel of the Nile

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One of the greatest ancient cities on the Upper Nile was Thebes. But look at any modern map and you’ll never find it. Why? Because the city took on a different name following the Muslim conquest of Egypt: Luxor. So named, possibly because of the palatial residences and the riches the Arabs found when they arrived. After all, the name Luxor derives from the romanicsed Arabic qasr meaning ‘castle’ or ‘palace.’ 

From Hurghada, Luxor was approximately four hours drive along the highways. The gong was slow and there wasn’t much to see outside the window except desert, the occasional wild tussock of grass and other passing vehicles. 

Was it any wonder I’d fall asleep on the way there? By the time I groggily blinked awake, we were passing by fields of green on the left and an actual cityscape on the right. True, it was no Western-style city but the local population had suddenly exploded. I watched from my window as people went about their daily lives, heading to market or riding around on carts as they carried sugar cane.

Unfortunately, to reach our cruise ship to paddle up the Nile, we had to go down a very narrow rural road that was sprinkled liberally with checkpoints. There might not have been traffic lights in this part of Egypt but there was certainly a large number of armed police wielding the classic assault rifle from every video game ever: the AK-47, as a show of intimidation. That or they sported submachine guns on their persons. They even had small watch-towers, accessed only by rickety wooden ladders!

Once we had checked into our floating hotel, and after a quick lunch at the buffet, we piled back on the coach to witness the sights and sounds of Karnak Temple. Suffice it to say, the towering pillars and obelisks were breathtaking to behold. Everywhere I turned, hieroglyphs lined the walls, still retaining the colour they had from several millenniums ago.

Primarily dedicated to Amun-Re, in the information centre before we properly entered the historical site, there was even a copy of the ship that Ra would ride on every night as he descended into the Underworld to fight his way back up to the surface.

It boggles my mind that such treasures had been hidden beneath the desert sand until a century or two ago. So much history and culture lost and rediscovered.

With Popo in tow, however, there was a lot she wasn’t able to see and enjoy. It should be known that Popo was almost 85 (at the time of posting, she is already that ripe old age) and had an old injury from her childhood that meant she has limped for most of her life. Contracting COVID-19 last year in September only made her mobility issues worse, giving her chronic pain in her legs.

Tethered to Popo made exploring the ruins of Karnark that much harder, although not quite impossible. As she wasn’t able to walk much, I usually found a shaded seated area for her to rest at before taking off to snap all the photographs that I needed of ancient kings and their tributes to the gods, along with indecipherable hieroglyphs that held little meaning to me.

By the time we finished at Karnak, the hour was quite late. Still intent on getting the full experience of the East Bank of the Nile, we stopped at the Temple of Luxor to admire the many statues of King Ramesses II. There was even a carved depictions that showed off his many sons and what they had bequeathed their father when he had held court.

Deep inside Luxor Temple we also saw carvings from the Greek era of pharaohs. The most important distinction, as pointed out by our tour guide, were the slight curves of the thighs and ankles, as well as the rounded stomach. The Greeks, it seems, desperately wanted to emulate the Egyptians during their occupation of their area and had not been intent on destroying their culture in a bid to co-exist. A valiant effort considering how modern civilisations have steam-rolled over indigenous populations since the 15th century.

After we had rushed around Luxor Temple, our first day at Luxor ended.

The second day at Luxor had us rising early to hurriedly scoff down breakfast as we raced to the West Bank of the Nile before our ship would start cruising upstream. This, of course, was where the Valley of the Kings lay. After getting a quick rundown of some of the famous individuals that were discovered within, and shown copies of photographs taken during Howard Carter’s expedition when Tutankhamen was unearthed, I dove down deep into KV 8: Merenptah’s tomb before shambling over to KV6: Rameses IX. 

Finally, I joined the the huge line to take a peek at KV2 to see what Ramesses IV had in store. Surprisingly enough, written on the entrance to the tomb were words in Greek followed by a symbol of early Christianity: the fish. But what truly impressed me was the fact that down in the depths of Rameses IV tomb was that many of the hieroglyphs still retained a lot of their original colour, be that red, blue and gold. 

But the main reason for why the line was so long was due to the large number of people all eager to snap selfies or group photos with particular arresting reliefs, thereby holding up the line as I tried to squeeze past. Rest assured, it was quite annoying as I only wanted to quickly duck in and duck right back out with as little fuss as possible.

And while there were other tombs that were open to the public at the Valley of the Kings, a few also required additional payment to visit. Of particular note was that of Tutankhamen’s tomb. One I didn’t venture down into as most of his treasures had been removed and were on display in numerous museums around the world.

Before we returned to our cruise ship, the Jaz Celebrity, we also stopped at Deir al-Bahari where colossal statues of Queen Hatsheput, in the form of Osiris, stood guard.

As one of the only places that still retained her name, historians were able to identify objects and carvings from her time period before her son, Thutmoses III has been able to scrape them off. So, despite his best efforts to erase the woman pharaoh, the name Hatsheput has remained until this modern age. 

Ah, sweet irony.

In any case, we arrived at Deir al-Bahari when the sun was at its zenith. And though I was there in early March, the temperature was still unbearably hot. After climbing to the very top, I was sweating like a pig and desperate to return to the air-conditioned bliss of the tour bus. That or enjoy some nice delicious ice-cream.

Alas, since Popo had returned to the coach before I was able to ask for a few dollars to pay for an ice-cream, I didn’t have the necessary funds to buy myself a cold snack. Instead, I returned to the bus with plenty of time to spare to board the boat and begin our cruise up to Edfu and Aswan beyond.

Oh, and before I forget, we also visited the open air statues of Memnon right before heading to the Valley of the Kings and were pestered to buy merchandise from the hawkers that lined the street. Popo bought two bags and a pouch while I sat there impatiently hoping to learn additional history and/ or mythology of a bygone age. After all, I didn’t come to Egypt just to shop around.

The only real additional kernals of fact I managed to glean as we drove to the Valley of the Kings was that the Ancient Egyptians were one of the first civilisations to realise that the year was 365 days. They split the year into 12 months. Each month was three weeks and each week was ten days. The missing 5 days on the calendar were explained as Amun and Amunet meeting each other in secret.

And because they were such stargazers, astrology too, can be attributed to the Ancient Egyptians.

And another thing to note, I did spot a set of traffic lights in and around Luxor Temple. It was probably set up there due  to the sheer number of people crossing the road needing safe passage from the rampant number of cars and tour buses that frequented the area.

So, maybe Egypt isn’t as chaotic as I first thought it was!

Obligatory Beach Episode

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When most Australians think of surf, sand and sun, they think of their local beach. Press them a little on famous ones that they can lounge on or which tourists frequent and they might say Bondi Beach or the Gold Ask. Ask them for something a little more exotic and they’ll probably name a resort in Bali or Fiji.

Ask Europeans for an exotic beach locale and you might get something like Hurghada. After all, it’s not too far from the European mainland and has some killer snorkelling opportunities to get up close and personal with adorable little fishes!

Our tour group had chosen to stay at the Stella Makadi Resort. More exactly: the Stella Gardens Resort and Spa Makadi Bay. From the outside, it looked almost like a massive compound. On the inside, it was a nice relaxing stroll down to the beachside with a few shops dedicated to selling trinkets and souvenirs that screamed: EGYPT!

Our first day at the resort was one of rest. We had no activities planned, which seemed apt when travelling with a large group of geriartrics.

Okay, I kid. They were mostly in their 50s and 60s. Which, I mean, still isn’t young by any means but considering I was the youngest of the entire group sitting at the round number of 30 says a lot. Heck, even 30 is old when you talk to teenagers.

So, what does one do when there isn’t much of a rush to head anywhere and everywhere? You go to the local beach, of course. As, as part of a package with the resort, there was a shuttle could take the adventurous down to the shoreline instead of having to hoof it down, plebeian style.

I don’t believe much explanation is required when photos will suffice in terms of the atmosphere of the Stella Makadi. It was pretty much your typical resort stolen from every tropical resort ever. Which isn’t to say it was bad, but I hadn’t brought swimmers. I had been more intent on learning the history of fishing rather than focusing on my tan lines.

As a random aside, most of the elderly Europeans (of which there was a lot down in Hurghada) seemed to love the idea of burning their skin until it was lobster red. They might not have peeled yet but is it any wonder their skin was so saggy and wrinkly when compared to Asians?

In any case, my first day of Hurghada mostly revolved around getting to know a few select members of the tour group a bit better than I had before by playing cards with them on the beach and pondering what our buffet meals had on offer.

The second day at Hurghada was, thankfully, one of adventure albeit ones where you had to pay a little bit extra on top of the $7000 that had to be shelled out at the start for the trip. 

Our first stop was Sindbad Submarine. And no, that’s not a typo. It was literally called Sindbad rather than Sinbad.

In any case, the Red Sea, it should be noted, shares a few similarities with the Great Barrier Reef. In that it has a reef where plenty of fish call home. And to truly appreciate the aquatic life in and around the area, one must go  beneath the waves. Hence, many of our tour group packing into a floating tin can that could sink down about 25 metres below the surface, all so that we could marvel at coral, the diver that came with us, and the fish the diver had managed to lure towards our window with the promise of food. 

I even spotted a Red Sea clownfish poking out through its home anemone, as well as an Indian lionfish lying low but wasn’t able to snap a shot fast enough on my phone. Alas!

After our submarine adventure, we boated back to shore and were presented with a certification of completion. Our local tour guide, Ahmed, even saw fit to write our names in Arabic on the slip of paper.

With our morning activities over, it was back to the resort for lunch before we enjoyed a Jeep Safari through the Sahara Desert. But although I say Jeep, I really mean Toyota Land Cruisers.

Since most of those in our tour group were an elderly bunch, the dirvers took it slow on the small hills and crests in the desert. Throughout the drive, we stopped at multiple areas, snapping shots of a distant mirage, a lonely Acacia tree (that was not the Tree of Tenere), and a towering dune of sand.

We even stopped at a nomadic village. In Chinese, it sounded like Bolu but a search on Google tells me that it might be the beduins. In any case, we got to taste their special type of naan, cooked over a flat stone with camel dung used to fuel the fire, ride a few camels and enjoy a cup of red tea that was a little too bitter for my tastes.

By the time we left their village, the sun was setting. Though I would have preferred to have returned to the resort by then, we still had one last stop. A performance, actually, that involved belly dancing and some clever dervish twirls. Along with some food and refreshments.

And even though I was asked to participate in some additional dancing, like the I coward I am I refused. Me? Belly dancing? In front of strangers? Never.

Besides, I’m not very curvaceous – at least in the sexy sense – and the thought of being the only poor dancer on  stage was a huge disincentive to get up and ‘shake my booty.’ 

So, while this wasn’t the most stereotypical beach episode in every anime ever, there was plenty of sun, surf and sand to enjoy. Certainly, for any enterprising influence, Hurghada would have been a great relaxation spot with excellent water views and opportunities to get down and dirty with beach volleyball and Zumba on the sand. 

As for budding Egyptologists, well, a little leisure can go a long way. Hurghada might not be rich in history, but it is rich in demonstrating the interconnection between cultures and giving some much needed zing if all one does is trek from one dusty old temple to the next.

The Mummy Returns

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After snatching a few hours of rest the night before, our first day in Cairo started early. Making sure all our luggage was in order, Popo and I came down to breakfast prepared for a long day ahead. Thankfully, with my planning skills in full display, we were able to enjoy a lengthier breakfast without having to cut it short to rush back to our rooms to collect our luggage – which had been located down a very long corridor was basically at the very tipping end of the building. 

Once the rest of our tour group was ready we go, we headed onto the coach for a day out exploring and appreciating Egyptian antiquities. Along the way, I got to observe how the people in Egypt drove (which was basically a free-for-all with lines marked out on the road serving mostly as guidelines and liberal uses of the horn to serve as warning to other drivers). 

It was essentially like being back in Asia and witnessing cars squeeze in wherever there was a free space, along with bikes. In all honesty, I could not help but be reminded of my times in China. Although, at least with China, there still seemed to be traffic lights. In that first fraught day in Cairo, there appeared to be none.

I also took the opportunity to take in the city itself, observing the buildings and seeing how Egyptians lived. While it couldn’t be described as terribly run-down, when compared to the west, it seemed a bit more chaotic with unfinished buildings that had yet to install windows or doors, or even a roof! This was later explained by our tour guide by people that had built their homes on illegal land to avoid fines from the government.

Then, of course, there were the people that wandered the highways, looking to get picked up by friends or strangers! 

But back to the agenda of the day, our first destination was the Egyptian Museum of Cairo. There, we inspected artefacts that dated back all the way to the Old Kingdom. Statues, as well, abounded in the halls of the museum. But of importance was that the entrance of the Museum had two depictions of the Goddess Isis standing guard, flanking Hathor (at least according to our guide). 

Inside, there were plenty of depictions of King Ramesses II, although there were also statues of Hatsheput and even of Akhenaten himself! Of note, and as pointed out by our tour guide, Ahmed, was the Narmer Palette, which contains some of the earliest hieroglyphics inscriptions ever found and shows the unification of the Upper and Lower Kingdoms of the Nile. 

There was also a huge block of text that had inscriptions detailing tax reforms that included Greek as well! I think it was part of the Rosetta Stone or had come from the same source as the rock that sat centre-stage at the British Museum.

Regardless, the Egyptian Museum of Cairo also contained busts of Graeco-Roman individuals due to their presence in Egypt in the latter half of BCE. After all, who can forget the great love story of Cleopatra and Marc Antony: an Egyptian Queen and her Roman lover.

In any case, any trip trip to Egypt – and to Cairo – would be remiss if such a stop was overlooked. Visiting the Egyptian Museum in Cairo is a must. Especially as it details a lot of the history of the country and has some excellent displays such as the one that detailed what ancient Egyptians got up to in their spare time including sports and games. As an Australian, what amused me was the fact that the creation of this wing had the help of the Australian Consulate. And there were even boomerangs on display to show similar hunting tactics!

More importantly, though, the Egyptian Museum also featured the sarcophagi as well as the mummified remains of Yuya and his wife, Thuya. These two are the grandparents of Akhenaten and were located in KV46.

Animals, too, had been mummified in the past. As we walked through the gallery, I noted the remains of a crocodile, dog, monkey and a sacred fish!

If these aren’t enough to impress, the museum also featured a display dedicated to King Tutankhamen and that of a pharaoh whose tomb was discovered during the height of the Second World War (and is thus not greatly remarked upon by most individuals), Psusennes I. 

Now, he was a pharaoh with a most impressive collection that was also mostly untouched upon discovery. Better yet, his sarcophagus was lined with silver, not gold. And during this period in Ancient Egyptian history, silver was considered much more valuable than gold.

After touring the museum, and picking up a commemorative fridge magnet, we lunched at a restaurant not far from the pyramids (and which was praised for the fact that it had pigeon on the menu). Afterwards, we headed straight for the looming tombs of Khufu, Khafre and Kenkaure – with the Great Pyramid of Khufu being considered the oldest and last surviving Ancient Wonder of the World.

Strangely enough, after we went to the pyramids and completed the customary photographs outside the old tombs, as well as taking the traditional selfie with the Sphinx nearby, it was later discovered the next day that there might be another secret passage close to the entrance of the Great Pyramid of Giza. 

Clearly, it was my presence at the pyramids that day that was the key for the researchers to uncover more hidden secrets. Will this lead to me becoming the next Jack West Jr.? Will I become embroiled in a quest to save the world from the upcoming apocalypse?

Or will I be co-opted into the Order of Hidden Ones and become a full fledged assassin, leaping off buildings and parkouring around the modern cityscape?

So many options, so little time!

Regardless, after we had drunk our fill of the Pyramids of Giza and the Khufu Sphinx, as well as enjoy a camel ride across the great desert, we headed to dinner at a different Chinese restaurant to the one we went to the night before. Afterwards, we headed directly to the airport for a domestic flight.

Our destination?

The beach-side holiday resort city right next to the Red Sea: Hurghada. 

The Start of Something New

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Following on from my last trip overseas to Taiwan, it took another three years for me to finally venture past my country’s borders as the COVID-19 pandemic subsided. True, the disease is still out there and still has the potential to cause catastrophic harm but people no longer consider it with the same amount of fear as they did before. Regardless, my first destination after so long was to head to Egypt – a land steeped in history and mythology. For a connoisseur of the mystic arts, such as myself, and after taking Ancient History in high school, going to Egypt was like a dream come true! For the first, and possibly only time, I would be walking past the pyramids, come face to face with statues of the gods and the pharaohs of old! 

Suffice it to say, such a would would be exciting, if not exhilarating for one such as I.

The start of the trip was not the most auspicious of days. It was a Tuesday and I had to climb out of bed at 3AM in the morning to make the 6AM flight. Not very fun, I assure you. Despite that, we managed to check-in with time to spare, although we were not able to upgrade to business class like my mother wanted. 

In my opinion, it was for the best. Who wants to fork out an extra $3000 for a few minor luxuries?

Ah, that’s right. I ought to explain the plural ‘we’ that I’ve used in the last few paragraphs. On this first trip overseas since COVID, I was travelling my Grandma. Meet Popo! And we were going with a tour group. This was no solo wing-it trip. Oh no! Our tour group was about about thirty people strong and we had exchanged pleasantries as we checked in, although I didn’t know anybody.

Fun fact, I was the youngest person on the trip by about 12 years! Whereas Popo was the oldest, sitting comfortably at the ripe old age of 85!

Now, when it comes to travelling with Emirates, there are no direct flights to Cairo from Sydney. Rather, we had to transit through. Which, in and itself, was a 14 hour flight. Coupled with an additional 4 hours as well as the transit time, that was approximately 20-ish hours!

Some might consider that an overly long time. And it was plenty long to be sitting in an uncomfortable airplane chair, waiting for the forming nitrogen bubbles in my joints to enter my brain and kill me, but it also gave me time to peruse what entertainment Emirates had on offer!

On my bucket list of things to watch, I knocked out the Harry Potter 20th Year Anniversay – Robbie Coltrane, may you rest in peace – and watched the Julia Roberts and George Clooney comedy film: Ticket to Paradise. 

Now, it should be known that the main reason why I would watch such a film was not to keep up to date with old Hollywood heartthrobs. The main reason why I would watch a vapid film about a girl marrying a guy she’d met about 30 days ago was really because I wanted to see Kaitlyn Dever’s performance in it. And let’s just say she nailed the part of playing the daughter to two famous movie stairs. 

The film also starred Billie Lourd, reprising the role she kinda had in Booksmart. Honestly, when seeing her work on American Horror Story and comparing it to the party girl typecast that she seems to be thrust in when it comes to major blockbuster titles or Hollywood films, it seems such a waste to me.

And because I still had almost 10 more hours to go on the flight, I decided to binge watch the entirety of Season 2 of Why Women Kill, starring of course, my favourite Evil Queen: Lana Parrilla from Once Upon a Time.

By the time the flight landed in Dubai International Airport, I was on the edge of my seat, wondering how the season of Why Women Kill would end. Of course, by then, we had to disembark and go through another security check. An ordeal that took quite a while although none of the security cared if we had more than 100ml of water with us when it came to connecting flights. 

Unfortunately for me, my grandmother was eligible for wheelchair and priority access. Getting on the cart that arrived, she was whisked away by airport staff to an unknown location and I was left to walk to the gate as there simply wasn’t enough seats on the golf cart for additional passengers.

But despite me taking the long way to the gate, by the time I arrived, there was no sign of Popo. Even talking to the staff manning the gate, he was unable to tell me where my grandmother was! And they were already making the final boarding call for the connecting flight to Cairo!

What in the world could I do? 

Ought I stay behind in Dubai as the rest of our tour group boarded? Could I try calling my grandmother instead?

Long story short, the cart pulled up with a few moments to spare, although I very nearly had to suffer through a panic attack. Popo and I boarded the connecting flight and I managed to finish off the second season of Why Women Kill before we arrived in Cairo.

After a late dinner at a Chinese restaurant – the food was average at best – we arrived at our hotel: St Regis Almasa to rest after a trying day of flights, catastrophising and watching a once mousy understanding woman let go of her moral sensibilities all to join an elite gardening club.

Nostalgic Reunion

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In the good old days of high school, I was one of the ‘cool’ kids that sported a PlayStation portable. And although I had never played the original Final Fantasy VII, I was well versed enough in the lore to understand the implications behind Advent Children and was similarly excited to play out the story of SOLDIER 1st Class, Zack Fair. Back then, I thought the CGI cutscenes stunning, the combat fun and the story immersive. Especially when it came to the friendship between Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth. Despite that, I never did finish the origin story of the Buster Sword. Mostly because I got intimidated by reading a guide about the boss battles that I had yet to face.That or I got distracted by other games – honestly, can’t quite remember – and never returned to witness the terribly sad ending that was for our sweet dark-haired prince.

Fast forward more than a decade and Final Fantasy VII finally saw a remake on the PlayStation 4 and 5. Along with that came a remaster of Zack’s story for the Nintendo Switch and PlayStation 5 console. So, because I hadn’t played through to the conclusion of Zack’s story, I found myself forking over $70 once more to play a game that I already owned in the past. Enter Crisis Core: Reunion.

In the first few moments of the game, I was instantly swept back to my halycon days of high school. Though the graphics had improved, much of the game was still the same. In fact, I knew most of the story beats already, following Zack on his journey from SOLDIER 2nd Class and the war with Wutai to uncovering the secrets behind Shinra’s experiments with JENOVA cells along with Projects G and S. In fact, one of my friends, Bleachpanda, can attest to my annoying quotations of LOVELESS without having playing through the game. This one’s for you:

Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess.

Throughout the story, it was nice to see who and served as one of the major influences in Cloud’s life: Zack Fair. True, Cloud may have forgotten him due to his mako poisoning and the trauma associated with Sephiroth (one of his great heroes) burning down his home, leading Cloud to replace Zack in his memories, but had it not been for the way Zack selflessly sacrificed himself and passed on his legacy and dreams to the younger man, we might not have had the Cloud Strife that we know today. Zack Fair, although a forgotten hero in the original Final Fantasy VII game was a pivotal and very influential figure in the hero that would soon become its own complex compilation in a series of fantasy games from Square Enix.

In any case, it was a blast reliving conversations and meeting familiar faces ranging from Lazard, Cissnei and Angeal to young Aerith, Tseng and Reno. 

But what surprised me when playing the game was how short the game actually was. In my memories, Crisis Core was an incredibly lengthy journey. Possibly because I wasn’t playing it as consistently as I am during my working years, or perhaps because I had a less optimised build for Zack.

While I did read that the PSP version was longer than the remastered version, I remembered spending quite a lot of time with the game, perfecting specific moments such as the cutting down of missiles in Banora to the squat competition at headquarters. All of which were retained.

But what did change was combat. According to online articles, it’s much faster than how it was originally. Materia abilities are keyed to the L1 and an accompanying face button. Items are easily accessible through the L2 and R2 buttons with circle being the default ‘use’ button. No longer do you have to sift through a menu! Nor do you have to endure the constant ‘Modulating phase’ popouts that only served to slow down battle though the DMW is still very much the same as before.

As is the norm when anything is reliant on RNG, my luck was atrocious. Especially when it came to levelling up materia. I had to resort to setting the game aside for a few hours as I did chores just so I could max out a few choice materia for me to use as a means to demolish the monsters in my way.

The graphics, too, also saw an upgrade in the remaster with the in-engine game models being of a much quality and fidelity than the CGI cutscenes that remained untouched. In fact, it was quite jarring to see the difference. As one of the below images that I’ve uploaded reveals, the CGI just doesn’t quite hold up. Which was a right shame. After all, who wouldn’t want to admire Sephiroth burning down Nibelhiem for the umpteenth-time in full 4K glory?

Certainly this thirsty game blogger!

These changes aside, Crisis Core Reunion also sported updated voice acting with an all new English cast. And according to the internet, they were terrible and didn’t hold true to the direction and spirit of the previous recording. After hearing a few samples on YouTube, I opted for the Japanese voice-acting instead. Which remained mostly untouched and still with the original Japanese voice actors.

Did you know that the voice actor for Zack is married to the voice actress for Aerith? Zaerith confirmed!

Even with another language serving as a barrier, I still felt for Zacks’ plight and might have shed a few tears near the end as he faced the impossible odds that were stacked against him.

Rest in peace, sweet prince. You are and always have been the hero you dreamed to be! The price of freedom is steep but you paid for it gladly!

Now here’s to wondering what new wrinkle the altered timeline of the Final Fantasy VII Remake will play into all this! As well as all the complications that Zack’s survival might bring to the story that we know.

I just can’t wait to see what Rebirth might bring even as I fear that too many changes might destroy the fragile balance of what proved to be an iconic story from the past.

On a site note, why didn’t they ever animate blood? Why did Sephiroth and Cloud only ever have random wispy black smoke emerge from their wounds? It makes no sense! Also, you know, the most cursed looking Moogle to ever exist in the Final Fantasy franchise.

Rat Race Escape

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Even weeks after the fact, I wonder whether or not if it was pity or something else that drove me to undertake a journey that was roughly an hour and a half down the motorway on a weekend to meet up with Bachelor number 7. It’s a difficult situation to navigate, especially when I consider how incompatible our lifestyles currently are. And yet I also don’t want to cut off all connection immediately, fearing that if I do, he might believe it was a poor reflection on his part. Still, it won’t be fair to string him along for too long either. Particularly if if he’s hoping for something more and it’s not something I can deliver.

Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I must needs tell the story from the beginning, yes? Provide context and build up a tantalising narrative for you, dear readers, to enjoy.

So, where to start? Well, it should be known that my meet-up with bachelor number 7 was my first one for the year of 2023. From the end of November 2022 to February 2023, I was caught up in holiday celebrations. While I did chat with a few other individuals during this time, and they did ask to arrange a meet-up, they simply didn’t provide much in terms of substance.

One was a Daddy’s boy, reporting to his father every interaction we shared. It didn’t help that his father was adamant about fighting his son’s battles for him as well, constantly calling and messaging my mother as we had met before through our shared mortgage broker. Goodness, if I could strangle but one man, it would be this man’s father.

The other was someone a friend of mine tried to set me up with. His first text, no joke, was: hi Kyndaris, someone gave me your number. If I didn’t know already that someone might text me out of the blue, I would have either blocked them or gone: new number, who dis? Since I was aware, I asked if he was Mister Blah n Blah. His response? how did you know? So, when he asked me out, I denied him. If a man is not going to put in the effort into texting about himself (he said he doesn’t like revealing himself too much through text – but gosh, why would I be a scammer? We were introduced by a mutual friend At least give me something. You aren’t even a cute himbo!)

Sorry. Where was I? Ah yes, so after a few missteps earlier in the year, and during late 2022, I started chatting with Bachelor number . He is five years younger than me and had liked one of my photos or had left a comment on one of my prompts – I can’t quite remember. But as I was perusing his profile, wondering if I ought to reject or match with him, I noted that he was wearing a lot of Kingdom Hearts related paraphernalia. That was my kind of fandom.

Honestly, it doesn’t take much to impress me. 

So, we started our burgeoning ‘relationship’ through Kingdom Hearts. After all, I was convinced that any fan of the franchise couldn’t be terrible. And even if nothing eventuated, we could still be friends! At least, that’s my hope. For now, we’ll just call him…Ansem (so I don’t have to call him Bachelor number 7).

But I will say that there wasn’t much in terms of practicality to our relationship. Yes, we had a few shared interests but as one of my work colleagues pointed it, if the relationship was ever going to lift off the ground, it would need a lot of work. And, to be honest, she was right. Ansem told me quite quickly that was on the autism spectrum – diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was younger. He also recently had brain surgery. As such, he was currently taking a break from working retail at the local Reject Shop. Although, he did have aspirations to work in politics in the future, be it local or state related.

As yet, though, he had no immediate plans about what he truly wanted to get into.

The vibe I also got, as we were chatting, was he might not be as flexible as I would have liked when it came to stepping out of his comfort zone. And that may come from the fact that he was neurodivergent (no judgement there). Which makes a lot of sense as one of my old high school classmates, who was later diagnosed with autism later in life, told me how they very much disliked it when their plans went awry. And that it was very difficult for them to adjust to change – leading to friction during a trip to Europe in their early twenties. 

So, with Ansem, I felt like he was very much fixed in his ways and sticking to how he foresaw the day going without too much deviation. One example that sprung to mind was the cafe that he offered as a meeting point. Even though there wasn’t much in terms of food options, he never volunteered another place as a substitute once we had glanced through the very short and select menu. Although, now that I think on it, he probably didn’t much care as he had an early lunch just prior.

There were other limitations too. Ansem didn’t drive. And I got the sense that he wouldn’t be very interested in moving away from his home in Shellharbour and heading to the big city. 

Whereas my job was in the big city. As were most of my friends, although we lived in separate suburbs that weren’t just a street away. 

Those were two major factors that were immutable and I wasn’t very inclined to move to a place that would lengthen my already long commute to work every day.

But worse, in the grander scheme of things, I was further along the path of life than he was.

In summary, it simply felt that our lifestyles were simply incompatible. We might have shared a lot of similar interests and were both only children but that was where it ended. Even our relationships with our parents were different. Not to mention what we wanted out of our lives. 

He did comment once that he saw little worth in money. And while I agreed with his sentiments, living paycheck to paycheck isn’t appealing either. I’m not trying to say that his view was wrong, given the fact that money is really just an ephemeral concept where we place value on scraps of paper that can be used in exchange for goods and services, but I also don’t want to be turned out on the street and just toeing that poverty line. Not that he was homeless, but it felt like with Ansem that there wasn’t much he aspired to be. Except maybe being a politician somewhere down the track. Whenever that might be. He certainly didn’t seem to be in any rush.

So, could the relationship work? Maybe. But it would need a lot of blood, sweat and tears. 

Still, the door remains open for another date and feeling out where it might go. Hopefully, we can arrange a date at a place that a middle ground for where the two of us live. But if it continues to be long distance (yes, yes, I know that we’re in the same country and also in the same state but driving one and a half hours for someone I barely know and haven’t formed any definite feelings for is a lot of investment!) I don’t think it’ll last. Especially if I feel like I’m not getting as much, as the saying goes, ‘bang for my buck.’

One of my friends mentioned having to chaperone her now-husband a lot back during the time that they were dating. But back then, they lived far closer than Ansem and I currently do. And they also had a year of friendship to buil up on. Ansem, for all intents and purposes, is just someone I’ve met in-person once and had a somewhat average first meeting.

Don’t get me wrong, it was fun to talk about the things we were both passionate about and shared in common. But as with most of the first dates I’ve gone on, I’ve found myself always passively listening to their much more excitable chatter. Not that I mind. I do engage and add a bit of dialogue to guide the conversation, but I often find it easier to see what the opposite party wants to talk about and then offer my two cents as needed. It provides a little insight into who they are and allows me to weigh up the pros and cons of what the relationship may entail. But maybe it also distances me from making a true connection.

Is it the wrong approach? Perhaps. But I don’t think there’s a right approach to dating either. This is no smut story where I swoon at the hottest guy that even thinks to look in my direction.

I can be witty and provide excellent banter if required, but the circumstances need to be just right if that is to happen. And with Ansem, that may be a struggle. For better or worse, I’m still wrapped up in the rat race and haven’t given much thought yet to retiring to the south coast seaside. Still, all hope is not quite lost just yet. But as ever, Shrek does appear to be the best contender when it comes to affairs of the heart.

On the plus side, I did get a few nice brochures for possible walks in the Illawarra region in case my friends ever decide to do some hikes in the near future out of the trip!

But let’s just say that a cheese and bacon baguette was not what I was expecting for lunch. 

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Following on from the massive Pokemon Violet, I felt it imperative that I tackle something smaller in scale for my next game. I was, after all, planning to travel overseas soon anyways so sinking 30ish hours into a 100-hour game and then return after three weeks away didn’t feel like the best use of my time. Don’t get me wrong. It’s doable, true, but it wouldn’t be much fun. And so, I picked a game that I knew could be completed in record time and still have all the craziness that the series has come to be known for: New Tales From the Borderlands.

Following on from the events of the first Tales of the Borderlands and the divisive Borderlands 3, which was known for the way it riffed on internet culture, New Tales From the Borderlands stars characters that are no longer denizens of Pandora. 

Welcome to Promethea and Meridian City! 

You would think that going to a different planet and seeing what they had to offer would be a breath of fresh air after being stuck on a desert planet for so long. Pandora’s story has been retrod countless times and so, yes, I did think it was refreshing to see a game take place in a different part of the Borderlands universe and provide new things to savour (even if Meridian City did feature in Borderlands 3). Unfortunately, when it comes to the Borderlands franchise, one cannot escape from the fact that even in space, capitalism knows no bounds. And in this action-adventure game, instead of a rockrolling adventure with space treasure hunters, New Tales from the Borderlands focuses on tackling the issues of unscrupulous megacorporations and their primary interest of making money and more of it by an means necessary. Mostly in the context of corporate wars of one-upping each other as often as possible.

In New Tales from the Borderlands, players step into the shoes of three different individuals: Anuradha Dhar, Octavio Wallace-Dhar and Francine Miscowicz. The three of them are, as our erstwhile narrator Marcus called them: absolute nobodies. ONe is a scientist working for ATLAS. She has big dreams and on the day that Tediore invades the city down on the planet below her where her adopted brother lives, she had just been fired from her job for releasing living test subjects aboard a space station. Octatvio, on the other hand, is a street-wise entrepreneur wannabe. He might not be the smartest tool in the shed, hustling from one get-rich-quick scheme to the next, but there’s a lovable charm to his character. And then finally, there’s Fran, the owner of a froghurt shop that was damaged during the last megacorp attack on the city. She, unlike the others, has a penchant for punching things. Given her proclivity for anger, her desire for violence is quite understandable.

After having one of the worst possible days in their lives, our heroes come together to get revenge on Tediore. In so doing, they stumble upon something beyond their own comprehension. Escaping from the vault located down in the sewers of Meridian City with a healing shard, they strive to make something out of their terrible circumstances and start a business.

So begins what felt like a days long journey that sees them to try to hawk their idea of a healing ray device, fail in their plans as they get captured by Tediore before getting embroiled in a ‘save the world’ scenario as they face down chairwoman: Susan Coldwell. It’s an oddly paced story that comes off as both whacky and endearing in equal measure. The characters all have large chips on their shoulders, which serves to impede the start of their adventures, but are all neatly resolved by the end. Which actually has five different endings that are dependent on the relationships between characters and their overall team score – represented, of course, with skateboards. Why? Well, L0U13 simply wouldn’t have it any other way. And after seeing these mechanics in so many games I’ve played, why not denote relationship status with skateboards? It seems to work just as well as any other metric.

But what I loved about the game was seeing Anu, Octavio and Fran coming together to solve the problems before them. In my blind playthrough, the team were a bunch of strangers at first. However, as the game went on, they started to trust each other better. I still didn’t get the arguably ‘best’ ending but all of my team members survived AND they were able to pursue what they were individually interested in. 

Just like the Telltale game that came before, New Tales from the Borderlands game mechanics are quite simple. Yes, there are areas where Anu, Octavio and Fran can explore their environment, usually a tightly confined place, but most of the gameplay comes in the form of choosing a response for a conversation or pressing a button in reaction to a quick-time event. 

In fact, much of the game felt like sitting down and watching a movie unfold with me, the player, with the occasional prompt to have me press something on the gaming controller. 

Still, in comparison to the first Tales from the Borderlands, I was impressed by how smooth and fluid the motion of each character was when I could explore the environment. They also included a few fun options by having Fran engage in a turn-based battle with her anger management bot! And the writers were quite smart when it came to dealing with battles.

Whilst the Borderlands franchise usual MO is to have vault hunters shooting up a storm in a vault, Anu, Octavio and Fran don’t have the luxury of being armed with guns. Even if they did, none of them are particularly skilled with them. Rather it’s their wit and ingenuity that see them through. 

And while I couldn’t control most of their actions – seeing as they were mostly scripted – I did enjoy how they were still able to defeat what felt like huge threats by taking advantage of whatever skills they did have and what opportunities were provided to them in the environment.

Was it the perfect game to wind down after playing through Pokemon Violet and trying to catch ‘em all? Yes, I think so! It was just the thing I needed to serve as a palate cleanser after getting too rundown by another very long and huge open-world game. Will I be playing a lot of these types of games? No. They work in small chunks and I think I need to be in the right mood for them. But they do serve as a fun way to just sit back and enjoy a story. 

Oh, and the fact that Fiona makes an appearance at the end, voiced by the ever lovable Laura Bailey (who made a cameo at the Encanto Bowl performance that was shown on Disney+ with toddler Ronin) was just icing on the cake! Here’s hoping for more expansion of the Borderlands universe and figuring out the mysterious of the ancient alien race that came before.

Pokemon Beta: The Real Treasures were all the Friends we Made Along the Way

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Following on from what felt like such a huge leap forward in terms of what Pokemon could be, Pokemon Scarlet and Violet felt like taking two steps back. This was especially true when it came to gameplay, performance and quality of options. And while the story provided players with an illusion of choice, it was clear form the start that they would all converge to a central point and thus remain a very much guided experience with a singular ending despite its protests of openness. 

Worse, one could not rush to the very end with a paltry team of Level 5 Pokemon and hope to take on the big bad right from the very start. Breath of the Wild, this was not. And therein lay Scarlet and Violet’s greatest strength as well as its greatest weakness when it came to linear storytelling.

It should be known that I usually play the first game in every new release. That means, Red, Gold (although in terms of the Johto, I was more enthralled of Lugia, so Silver it was for me), Ruby, X, Sun and Sword. However, this time round, I played Violet instead as the concept of fighting future Pokemon just seemed much more enticing.

The game started out as most Pokemon games do with the protagonist starting off in their small humble town that doesn’t even sport a Pokemon Centre. In Pokemon Scarlet and Violet, the conceit is that it’s your first day of school after moving to Paldea. As you come down the stairs, having dressed in your version specific uniform, there is a knock at the door. Director Clavell serves somewhat in the role of the professors of old, introducing the player characters to the world of Pokemon and even giving players the option to choose one of the three starters to begin their journey in earnest: Sprigatitto, Fuecoco and Quaxly.

Suffice it to say, I picked the fire crocodile.

And as I stepped out of my casita (with its Encanto vibes), I was sent straight into a battle with new rival: Nemona (who lived down the street in a palatial mansion and several wait staff to attend to her every need). Nemona was a a rival that I very much liked. She was a breath of fresh air from the excitable Hau and the almost forgettable Hop. Fearless and always eager for a battle, she was also used sparingly through the game. So, even as I was going from gym to gym, gathering badges, Nemona wasn’t entirely forced down my throat. Yes, there were a few battles here and there but it wasn’t constant. AND she was pretty helpful in those first few hours – teaching players how to catch Pokemon before leading us to the Academy at Mesagoza. Although she was of little aid when my character fell down a cliff and found the mythical Miraidon.

Still, the fact that I now had a legendary HM slave in my arsenal was nothing to sniff up. I even cleaned up all the different Pokemon that were immediately available in and around Los Platos and whatever else that could be found in the area.

By the time I finally made it to Uva Academy to begin my education, even my Fuecoco had evolved into a Crocalor.

At the Academy, I was then introduced to a plethora of new characters, each unique in their own way. From Team Star and Penny to the teachers. One of my favourite teachers was Ms Tyme and her very first trick-question that wasn’t entirely based on maths but on actual game mechanics. I also loved Salvatore and Saguaro. As for Professor Hassel, there was something about his design that reminded me either of a Pokemon or a character of another game. Initially, I thought his design was similar to Isabelle from Animal Crossing but the more I looked at the two of them, the similarities began to fade away.

Someone, anyone, help me identify who this dragon-user Elite Four Professor looks like!

Once I was introduced properly to the school, and after maybe a week or two of in-game time had passed in quick succession as part of the story, Director Clavell announced what we had all been waiting for: the Treasure Hunt. And suddenly Paldea opened itself up for proper exploration with its ‘three storylines.’ Which, as I’ve stated above does get funnelled into one story where the player characters along with the allies they made throughout each storyline work together to save the world in a fairly cliche Japanese role-playing game (JRPG) story.

Still, I really liked getting to understand the motivation and backstory behind Team Star. In fact, it was probably my favourite ‘storyline’ that got explored. As for the gym badges and the hunt for the Herba Mystica – they very much leaned into traditional Pokemon tropes that only lent a little to the characterisation of Nemona and Arven and were just gimmicky ways to improve Miraidon or proceed down the tried and true path of becoming a Pokemon Master.

The only downside to the whole game was the fact that GameFreak, once again, refused to implement any form of ACTUAL voice acting. Unfortunately for me, whilst I wouldn’t have minded voicing all the characters like I did with The Great Ace Attorney, I caught a cold/ flu/ possibly COVID at the start of the new year. Which left me with a horrid cough that threatened to take away my voice on multiple occasions and refused to go away. Nevertheless, it could not stop me from giving Nemona a very questionable Spanish accent and voicing a few of the cinematic cutscenes.

WHY ARE THERE CINEMATIC CUTSCENES WHEN YOU DON’T INCORPORATE ANY VOICE ACTING?

Honestly, it boggles my mind to know that GameFreak has moved to 3D sprites with MOVING mouth flaps and they still don’t feel the urge to add voices to pivotal scenes.

But maybe that was beyond the skills of the developers? After all, Pokemon Scarlet and Violet had many things wrong with it when it to performance. In fact, it’s the Cooperajah in the room. Because even though I started my Pokemon journey almost two months after the most ardent fans, I still found myself struggling with dips in frame rate and the long load times when it came to Pokemon boxes. Then, of course, there was the strange motion of non-playable characters (NPCs) that were no further than ten metres away. 

Some have pointed to the hardware of the Switch for the poor performance of the game. Which I honestly do not believe to be true. Why? Well, even though the Switch is pretty old, Xenoblade Chronicles 3, which I played in mid-2022, also sported a huge world to explore with an enviable draw distance and I didn’t encounter as many issues as I did in Pokemon Violet.

The lack of optimisation and performance issues for Pokemon Violet was enough to be grating. And yet I pushed on. For, despite the fact that the game crashed on me three to four times during the entire duration of my playthrough, I was still able to to find a semblance of  fun and joy in the game.

And complete my Pokedex with the help of a few friends.

Admittedly, the lack of quality of life options in the game was also a letdown. Especially when it came to its ‘Let’s Go’ mode. While some of the mechanics were explained in the lessons at the Academy, these were usually after the third badge. Which meant that a player could have conceivably grinded a Pokemon to their evolution level via the R or ZR button but not have it evolve. 

While moves could be ‘remembered’ on the fly, there was no option to simply allow a Pokemon to evolve once it reached the conditions needed. An oversight in my opinion when it came to the ‘Let’s Go’ feature of the game.

Even fast travel was poorly explained with the Flying Cabs. And the fact that you could lock the map by pressing down on the right analog stick. Which could have all been done through a few additional tutorial boxes.

Now to the Pokemon in question. A lot of the new additions felt quite gimmicky in terms of gameplay. That isn’t to say that they were bad but none of them truly stood out except the Tinkatink evolution line. Smoliv was cute, true, but Arboliva wasn’t as majestic as I could have hoped. 

Although, I’m sure professional Pokemon battlers will find use for them regardless. For me, though, I ended up keeping the composition of my previous Pokemon teams with the only addition being the starter I had chosen: Skeledirge, Gyarados, Lucario, Garchomp, Luxray and Grimmsnarl. I like my heavy hitters! There’s nothing wrong with that!

Overall, Pokemon Scarlet and Violet are a bit of a mess. And not in the good way. Did I still manage to enjoy myself? Yes. But it was at the expense of Pokemon’s good name and reputation. Although, from what I’ve heard, it’s been an issue for quite a while now. 

Will it mean that the next game will be a slower purchase? Possibly.

I’m not going to pay top dollar for a broken and unfinished game. It might be endearing the first time but it should not be acceptable. Especially when even the patches purported to fix it don’t seem to do much at all.

And so, it feels like a beta that is trying to dominate and be an alpha. But failing hard at it. Just stick to your own beta! No omega is going to ever want to be with you! 

Quiet

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Almost after the first date, Spring was busy trying to plan the second. Initially, we had settled for a film. Spring, after all, was incredibly intent on watching the latest masterpiece from the director behind Your Name and Weathering with You: Suzume no Tojimari. Unfortunately, the date for when it would arrive on western shores was still a little far off. And so, Spring scrambled to find a replacement film for the two of us to watch in an attempt to keep the time between the first meetup and a second date shorter than three to five months. A considerable period of time – especially if one is hoping to pursue the hope of something romantic.

At first, he suggested Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. A film I had already watched recently with a work colleague in the best (and most expensive) way possible. Yes, that’s right dear readers. I spent $44 to be pampered in Gold Class with its reclining seats and food deliveries! 

Was it a ridiculous waste of money? 

Yes. But it was a nice enough novelty to experience at least once in my life.

But was Spring going to cough up that kind of cash for a unique experience? Hell no!

Running out of options, he then wondered perhaps if we ought to go for karaoke instead. A sudden change from what would have been an innocuous movie outing. Annoyed at his inability to stay the course, I sternly chided him on his decision to switch to karaoke with just two people AND while only on the second date when we were still testing the waters.

It didn’t help that I could already predict the songs he would be selecting. And I did not relish having a sober karaoke session with a man that was already giving me bad vibes. Especially when it seemed that all he wanted out of a relationship was a female version of himself.

That, and the fact that he thought it was a sign of old age to just ‘listen to the radio’ instead of throwing up Spotify to listen to his curated playlist. Reading that text message, dear readers, was enough for me to roll my eyes at the inanity of his ‘observations.’ 

Let it be known here and now that I’ve been listening to the car radio for as long as I can remember. Was 5-year-old Kyndaris ‘old’ because I hadn’t been able to listen to anything except the radio and was unable to put music that I was interested in?

Realising his faux pas, Spring then tried to backtrack, racking his brain for any film that would entertain. But rather than pick a date and review what might be available during those times, he just offered up Black Adam – a film that he had already seen and was about to end its run in cinemas. So, I pivoted to a few other films by checking to see what was available in cinemas in the back half of November. The Menu and Matilda: The Musical were the ones I selected as being the best choices from the paltry selection available. At least for the day that we finally settled on to go on our second date.

Spring was picky about that too. He had hoped for a weekend, but being the busy little bee that I was, I couldn’t find time to cater to his request on the weekend that Matilda: The Musical was showing in cinemas. I did offer up a Thursday but Spring didn’t want to go out on a work night. This was despite the fact that he wanted a Monday date when he had just got back from Europe and therefore had plenty of free time.

In the end we opted for a Friday.

But I still feel obliged to say my piece: Mate, I’m sorry but the world does not revolve around you! And just because I’m ‘flexible’ doesn’t always mean that your ‘preferences’ will come first. Please think about what might be convenient too for other people or compromising should schedules potentially clash!

As you can see, dear readers, Spring had certainly pressed a few of my buttons. And not in a good way.

So, finally after settling for a date on a Friday to watch Matilda: The Musical (Spring was keen to tell me that he had watched two other musicals before. Never, of course, at the theatre, but film versions. Grease and possibly Hairspray? I can’t remember the second one he mentioned), we set up a time to meet up on the day. 

Unfortunately for Spring, bad traffic on the way home meant he was running a little late. By the time he had arrived, I’d purchased a few cheese tarts for my family and already had the movie tickets in my wallet, ready to whip them out as soon as we were asked to show them for entry.

Although he was late, we were still able to sneak in a quick dinner at Sushi Rio located close to the cinemas without cutting too much into the viewing time of the film. After all, there’s always 20-30 minutes of advertisements now before the feature. 

As we were eating our plates of sushi, I happened to glance to my right  and saw a friend and her boyfriend also indulging in a few plates of sushi after a shopping adventure for anime figurines. On the premise of just checking the time, I’d subtly texted her. To my dismay, he was not one to check her phone messages. And seeing that my message had gone unread, I then tried desperately to remain unnoticed. A very difficult feat because, mind you, this was at a sushi train and I had to look in their general direction to see what delectable sushi I might pluck off the conveyor belt. And they were less than ten metres away. 

Suffice it to say, my efforts were in vain.

After they had finished their meal, they approached and said ‘hi.’ Embarrassed a little that I’d been caught on one of my many ‘dates’ to find the one, I don’t recall if I introduced Spring. I do think I might have mentioned that the two of us were watching a film but I didn’t want to exactly define our relationship as yet. In my head, after all, I knew it wouldn’t go much further than this second date if I had any say in the matter.

So, after a brief catch-up chat with the friend and her boyfriend, Spring and I headed into the cinemas to watch Matilda. 

And I’ve got to say, it was an excellent film. While people online have compared it the 1996 classic starring Danny DeVito and Mara Wilson, this was a beast of a different nature. it was an adaption of the stage musical, which was itself an alternate interpretation of the novel by Roald Dahl. The musical itself had visited Sydney a few times though I hadn’t been able to catch it live.

But from the opening number, you could see that it was meant to be a fun, quirky and magical experience. Although I did feel like Matilda’s precognition abilities were a ham-fisted attempt to provide some backstory for Miss Honey. Honestly, Miss Honey’s parents being an escapologist and trapeze artist was just a little…unbelievable.

Still, I liked many of the songs. Be that: Naughty, When I Grow Up, School Song and Revolting Children.

And even Spring was mightily impressed by the dance choreography. He even said that it was more impressive than the cinematic blow-by-blow of superhero films because of all the editing tricks and the green screens. Gosh, my dear readers, wait until he sees musicals live on the stage! Then he’d be really blown away!

Okay, that was probably a little unfair on Spring, but I was already tired of his ‘gosh, work sucks’ attitude and ‘I’m surrounded by such normie work colleagues’ chatter. It just seemed like he simply wasn’t interested in getting to know those around him on a human level. Rather, he’d write them off as one-note side characters in his main story life.

It was honestly not the best experience to see how callous and ego-centric he saw the world. And while he might have explored more of the world than an ex-friend of mine, the narrow way that they perceive the outside world was just tiring to endure. All of ‘his’ observations were apparently new and sudden and unique. No one else was singing his song. And oh, how wonderful would it be if he could just find someone that could like what he liked.

Did I mention that one of the people he dated was someone I knew at university? No? Well, there you have it.

And I’m not sure if it was a red flag or a green flag.

Regardless, when we went our separate ways at the train station after the film, we exchanged a few messages afterwards about the fact that common sense is no longer really ‘common’ anymore and that was about it. I’m not sure who ghosted who but at least it was a mutual one.

And thank goodness for that.