The Price of Survival

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Horror comes in many forms. In games, much of it is derived from the unexpected jump scare. But what I’ve found over the years is that good horror comes from the build-up of tension and that growing sense of unease and impending doom. Always, it has been the atmosphere that sells the creeping dread in the pit of my stomach. The sudden appearance of an enemy (while it breaks some of that tension) is mostly annoying. I’ve never liked the triggering of my instinctual reactions of fight or flight. Especially if I have to experience it multiple times. Similarly, grotesque monsters are all well and good, but after dying several times to them, or outsmarting them, their appearances lack impact.

During my time down in Melbourne, I brought along my Switch to keep me company. Knowing that what time I could spare for video games would be short, I settled on playing Little Nightmares. Released back in 2017, from developers Tarsier Studios and Supermassive Games, it has earned critical acclaim. 

Though these games have never really been my cup of tea when it came to genre, I was still curious about the game after one of my friends expressed an interest. Mustering my courage, and after dipping my toes with the likes of Limbo and Inside, I thought: why not?

Little Nightmares follows the story of Six. A girl in a yellow raincoat who finds herself in a placed called the Maw after a dream about the Lady, a woman dressed similarly to a geisha. From there, the game continues to feed the story piecemeal to the player, without any form of dialogue or explanation for the world that they are thrust into. Rather, just like Inside and Limbo, Little Nightmares tells its story with contextual clues found around the environment. 

Even instructions for controls are sparse. It took me a while to figure out to hold and interact with objects, but once I did, it simply became an issue of solving the puzzles around me or ensuring my time when it came to escape sequences.

Not every game needs to hold the players hand. In Little Nightmares, it’s all about experimenting and seeing what happens when Six pushes the button. Still, there were parts in the game where I would have preferred a hint system that could point me where I needed to go. Or, at the very least, made the next step a little more obvious. Too many times, I ignored a grill in the background, thinking it was just decoration when it was actually a climbable path. You would think I’d learn but alas.

Little Nightmares is broken into several acts. Each one seems tied to a phase when Six suffers a bout of hunger. There’s no explanation for the hunger that Six must deal with. Only that each time she does experience it, she needs to eat more than what she had the last time. First a piece of bread, next a rat, then a gnome and finally the Lady in charge of the Maw.

Each act of the game also has its own share of enemies to deal with. In my playthrough, I felt that the Janitor was the most terrifying with his long spindly arms. He might have been blind but he was quick with his grasping hands. While the Twin Chefs had their own challenges, I found them much more manageable. As for the Guests, they keenly reminded me of Spirited Away with the way they glutted themselves on meat. In many ways, they were the most terrifying enemy because of how similar they were to humans.

Last, but not least, was The Lady. Despite Six’s best attempts, she found herself locked in a battle with the owner of the Maw. Yet despite her terrifying powers, The Lady was someone that could actually be brought low. In a game where Six could do little more than run, being able to take the Lady down was much more cathartic for me as a player. No longer was I helpless. Rather, I could fight The Lady on my own terms.

Still, that ending when Six, armed with The Lady’s power, walking out to freedom was a chilling experience. Even though Six had earned her freedom, there was a sense that she had paid a high price for that power, though I’m sure those that have played the sequel would already know that answer.

Then, of course, there was the bundled downloadable content that came with my edition of the game. Secrets of the Maw. During this part of the game, I was thrust into the role of The Kid, a boy with tattered clothes and messy hair. Those in the know have pointed out that he was the one that gave Six the piece of bread in the earlier part of the game. Whether or not that’s true, I’m not sure. What I do know is that the boy becomes the gnome that Six chomps down on.

Despite knowing his fate, I pressed on in my quest to see him free of the confines of the Maw. In the first part, I had to successfully navigate the watery levels, hunted by the Granny. And my goodness, those moments were tense when The Kid was in the water. Every time I saw bubbles and heard the music ratchet up, I would scream at my screen for The Kid to get to the next safe place. 

The next chapter lost some of that terror because it was more focused on using the gnomes to assist with diabolical environmental puzzles. Most of it was pretty standard problems that required throwing the gnomes at the right angle. The part that I struggled with the most was when I was trying to catch the gnome in the coal pit. After much finagling, I finally managed to snatch it up in my arms and give it a cuddle. Goodness, why couldn’t that gnome be the one that Six munched down on?

As for the final chapter with The Lady, I also liked having enemies that The Kid could actually defeat. This time, with the aid of his electric torch. Yes, there were the occasional annoyances when I’d get caught at a strange angle and still be defeated, but at the very least I could fight back instead of running away and hiding. 

Overall, I think Little Nightmares balances the helplessness of the main playable characters with moments of agency (at least in the last act). Tarsier Studios should also be applauded for the world that they created in the form of the Maw and the way that they slowly escalate the tension as Six and The Kid crawled through . Those first few moments as I tried to find ways around the Chefs and the Janitor had me on the edge of my seat. It also helped that the developers peppered the game with generous checkpoints should the player fail (which was quite a lot).

Like Limbo and Inside, there terror from the games comes from the environment and the atmosphere rather than from cheap jump scares. Yes, there’s a feeling of dread and some of the enemies might be scary to look at, but it never quire reaches the heights of a conventional horror title. Rather, it fits the bill of a suspense-adventure (as classified by the developers) and it sure does hit that mark.

Southland City by a River

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

For those that have known me since I was still a twinkle in my mother’s eye, they would know of my obsession with the Harry Potter franchise. While Melbourne boasts a play that was endorsed by J.K. Rowling, but which I consider terrible fanfiction, was it any wonder that I skipped out on seeing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child? Admittedly, I do like the characterisation of Scorpius Malfoy but the entire plot was off the rails and didn’t quite fit into the world that had been painstakingly created.

Besides, I have a script at home. While I may not have the budget for the special effects, I think I do a superb job doing all the characters. Melbourne Theatre Company, why have I not been hired to play any of the characters?

Regardless, my one excitement of heading down to Melbourne was to hit the Store of Requirement. Though it was a trek, I managed to get there right before the shop opened. When it finally did, I stepped inside to enjoy all the Harry Potter goodness to be found therein…

Only…

Only it wasn’t what I had eagerly hoped for. Sure, there were a selection of wands and a few gift sets but there was nothing anything I actually desired in the store. After spending a few minutes wandering through the store, I resigned myself to another trip, either to the UK or the US, and paying a visit to their stores instead. There’s more to Harry Potter than the occasional pop vinyl or cute keychains. I wanted more.

Disappointed, I headed down towards the Melbourne Museum. And by Jove, it was magical! Certainly, there were a lot of exhibits to see. From minerals to insects to dinosaurs! There were even live specimens on display. Certainly a rare treat when compared to the Australian Museum in Sydney. There was also a forest that had a chimney that had survived the Black Saturday bushfires from 2009. 

Utterly gorgeous.

While I would have preferred taking my time to read all the placards, I also had many other places to see and visit on this second day in Melbourne. Besides, it was also school holidays and I was SURROUNDED by children and parents. Yes, it’s good that you’re taking your children out to get educated but rein them in. Please! Or take them out to the beach/ park where they can’t disturb me taking in the sights and wanting to further expand my knowledge on the natural world!

The other half of the Melbourne Museum also contained an exhibit on Indigenous Australians. There was even a small section dedicated to Northland Secondary College and their fight to keep the school open. Thankfully, unlike most narratives, the Koori school won.

But even with a tale of victory to buoy my spirits, I was soon reminded that Australia’s history with its First Nations people has always been bloody. Colonialism and its impact on the native people can still be felt today with one group above all others trying to impose their own ideals as the norm and squashing out any resistance. 

For a true and proper reconciliation, recognition and restitution must be made. It isn’t simply a matter of sweeping it under a rug. Forgiveness and atonement must go hand-in-hand if the land, and the people, are to heal.

From this exhibit, I headed back up to a part of the museum that was dedicated to chronicling the history of Melbourne itself. It was fascinating to learn that the streets now dedicated to shops and a theatre that was featuring the Hamilton musical was previously known as the red light district. 

Best of all, though, there was a miniature exhibit! Many were models but there was also a huge doll house for the snotty kids to admire. Prepare yourselves for a slew of photos bombarding you in:

3…

2…

1…

After I managed to emerge from the museum and back into the blinding sunlight, I headed back towards the heart of the city again. My destination? The Museum of Chinese Australian History. As an Australian of Chinese descent, it seemed proper for me to understand some of that history, even if my family were only recent migrants.

Inside, I listened to many stories. Some from those that had arrived in Australia during the gold rush period and others were from my mother’s generation, entering Australia as students or entrepreneur businessmen.

All of it helped illustrate my place in the great Australia story. It also helped me feel less alone, knowing that no matter when we came to Australia, we could still proudly call ourselves Australians.

The other floors also provided some historical information about the Han Dynasty (a historical and cultural connection that I often found lacking in my education because I had grown up in Australia). While I knew some of the facts on the walls, due to my attendance at mandatory Chinese school every Saturday, what I read and learnt felt different to what I had learned somewhat scattershot from my Chinese teachers.

Of course, there was also a floor that had been transformed into a proper show with a tilting ship deck and a mural of Chinese migrants trekking from South Australia to enter Victoria and have a turn at digging up gold in Ballarat. Like many migrant stories, they brought their culture with them such as Beijing opera and their many gods with them into the new world.

As with my time in Seattle, I was disappointed to hear that even in Australia, the Chinese were discriminated against because of their sheer number and work ethic. A tax was imposed on every Chinese arrival and there were limitations on the number of them that could arrive on each vessel. In passing this legislation, the state of Victoria paved the way for similar exclusionary legislation in other colonies.

After drinking in my fill of Chinese Australian history, I decided that it was time to fill up. Checking Google Maps, I managed to wend my way to Becco, an Italian restaurant that wasn’t too far from where I wanted to head to next. The food was decent, if a little pricey, and unlike most Australian restaurants, they had also installed an option to tip a specific amount. While I was tempted to click cancel on the tips, my guilt and social conscientiousness prompted me to give them the second most expensive tip.

Still, I must truly protest. We aren’t America. Are you underpaying your workers in these fine dining places? If not, why are you resting tips? Please, please, please get rid of tipping. It’s not a thing in Australia! And I hope to goodness, it never will be.

After that, I headed down towards Fitzroy Gardens. And summarily bumped into my mother and stepfather. Together, we traipsed past the Old Treasury and cut through the Treasury Gardens where a memorial to J.F. Kennedy could be found. Why an American president was being memorialised in Melbourne was a mystery to me, although it didn’t stop me from taking a few photographs.

I parted ways with my mother after we took in Cook’s Cottage (which also required an entry fee to tour the very small grounds). Whilst she and my stepfather departed to take the free tram, I headed up to see the Fairies Tree before strolling down Flinders Street towards St Paul’s Cathedral and Federation Square.

From there, I crossed the bridge over the Yarra River and headed to the Melbourne Skydeck for a bird’s eye view of the city below. After enjoying a loaded cookie and one of the worst hot chocolate that was ever mixed, I took my time soaking in the sights on the Southbank promenade before returning back to our hotel.

So ended a very busy day.

The next day, my mother and stepfather accompanied me to the Scienceworks Museum in the out-of-the-way suburb of Spotswood. While not as impressive the Melbourne Museum, I liked the exhibits that showcased future technologies and the activities that could be had for all the kids wanting to test the limits of their body. We might be living in a world of COVID-19, but that won’t stop kids (or even teenagers) from touching anything in reach.

The highlight of this trip was taking the Collections Tour and seeing what Museums Victoria had in storage. If ever I had been tempted to be a museum curator, this was that one defining moment. Oh how I would have loved taking people around a warehouse, pointing out iconic pieces of the past and spinning my lies about what it was used for.

Fun fact, a lot of the rotary engines for planes in the past used castor oil as a lubricant. The scarfs many pilots wore was used to help wipe their goggles and to filter it out as well.

From the Scienceworks, we headed to the DFO  at Essendon. After an exhausting day of running around the city of Melbourne, my mother was ready for some SHOPPING!

And shop she did. After the two or so hours we spent there, she walked away with three pairs of shoes. I, on the other hand, bought two jeans and some hiking boots for any future expeditions into the great outdoors (or whenever I decide to visit Tasmania, I suppose).

Friday saw us finally wave goodbye to Melbourne. Deciding to take the coastal route, we stopped first at Brighton to take obligatory photos of the bathing houses. And then it was all uphill from there as we drove to Eden, and back across the border into New South Wales.

On Saturday, we enjoyed a meandering path up the Princes Highway, looking out at the small towns that were scattered on the south coast before finally arriving back home just after five.

All in all, it was an exhausting trip but well worth it. Would Melbourne be ranked high on my list of cities to visit again? Maybe. I certainly did enjoy my time walking its streets and mapping out the city in my head. Then, of course, there are the exhibits I missed or didn’t spend enough time in.

Renowned for its coffee, I was also disappointed that I didn’t have the opportunity to enjoy brunch with my friends. The cafe scene, I’ve heard, is alive and well in Melbourne and that’s also something I’m strangely looking forward to if I should ever visit again.

In any case, Melbourne isn’t so out of reach that visiting again would be out of the question. But perhaps I ought to be a bit more discerning with my travel companions next time, eh?

Exodus South

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

With the Easter holidays just before ANZAC day, I took advantage of the numerous public holidays scattered throughout April to take four days of annual leave between Easter Monday and the next long weekend. Why, I hear you ask? Well, it was to ensure that I could enjoy as much time off as I could. And finally get to enjoying some time exploring the great outdoors. A homebody, I might be, but a chance has finally arisen for me to cross state lines and to check out if Melbourne truly was the most liveable city (at least from 2017 standards) and to also possibly pick up some nerdy merchandise to feed the gaping void in my soul. 

After all, I never denied I was a materialistic girl.

The problem, of course, was picking my travelling companions. Before my stepfather returned to Australia, I was hoping for some bonding time with just my mother and I. We could go down to Melbourne, the two of us, and enjoy what the city would offer. Failing that, I’d simply go my own way and she could do whatever she preferred.

Unfortunately, my mother’s husband testing positive to COVID-19 prior to the trip only served to further sour our relationship. Mostly because I could not deal with his selfish tendencies during our period of self-isolation and his blatant disregard for the health guidelines. Then, of course, there’s the other baggage I won’t go into. But, let it be known, that ever since they got married in Malaysia (a wedding to which I wasn’t even invited to), I’ve tolerated his presence in my mother’s life.

And so, after much hewing and hawing, the trip would remain as it was. For one glorious moment, I had prayed he would decide to stay back and it would just be my mother and I. Alas, it was not to be.

So, eschewing the convenience of a one hour flight and unconcerned about exorbitant petrol prices, we drove down. On the first day of our journey, we stopped several times for toilet breaks, petrol or food. Our first stop was at Sutton Forest. A most popular place to rest before heading all the way to Canberra. The next was Gundagai where we enjoyed a lot of Hungry Jack’s latest fried chicken range of burgers. Disappointed that we couldn’t try anything else, we continued the long drive down to Albury – stopping briefly at Wagga Wagga because the outback city had piqued my mother’s curiosity and she wanted to take a photo of an old post office.

Instead, we got a hotel that was aptly named the Mantra Pavilion Hotel with a conical roof. Of course, we didn’t go in. Just take snaps of it from the outside before we continued the drive to Culcairn and finally to Albury.

After staying the night, we continued our trip down to Melbourne. Of course, not without stopping first at Noreuil Park Foreshore to stare at the Murray river (and the border between the states of New South Wales and Victoria) and heading up Monument Hill to see both the twin cities of Albury-Wodonga.

Despite the early start, we didn’t arrive at Melbourne until well past noon. At the very least, we stopped briefly on the road for a small lunch that consisted of a chicken wrap and a few crackers. As soon as we checked into our luxurious apartment, I was out pounding the pavement. There was little time to lose. While my mother and the stepfather decided to go for an early dinner, I was much too concerned with stopping by Critical Hit, Minotaur and One Stop Anime to feed my desire for all things nerd.

Thankfully, they were all quite close to each other in the centre of Melbourne. Better yet, our hotel wasn’t too far. By the time the shops were all closed, I had gained the Octopath soundtrack, a new book that had been recommended by BookTuber Daniel Greene (while also scoping out the manga heavy sections that were also peppered with plenty of pop vinyls) and some breakfast for the morrow from Breadtop.

I also jammed my finger when trying to exit the Breadtop, but the bruising wasn’t too bad. 

So ends part one of my Melbourne adventures. Tune in next time to read all about my disappointment that there were no keyblades on displays or the fact that One Stop Anime was so confusingly placed in some corner in the wall. Okay, I kid. It wasn’t that bad. And if one does follow the most popular anime shows, I’m sure there would have been plenty to love. I, unfortunately, haven’t fallen for anything beyond my beloved Detective Conan. May Kudo Shinichi reign supreme forevermore. 

Cute duck is cute. Especially when it has a leaf stuck to its chest.

Let Us Cling Together

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Back in my high school years, I uncovered a great gem of a game that was playable on the PlayStation Portable (PSP). It followed the life of a noble called Ramza Beoulve and his good friend: Delita Heiral. The narrative, with its focus on corruption and oppression, blew my teenage brain away. That a game could tell such a compelling story and explore such depths of the human condition didn’t seem real. To this day, Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions is one of my favourite games because of the strength of its writing and tactical-minded gameplay. 

And so, when Square Enix announced a tactical role-playing game with a plot that would navigate the harsh realities of war and those that would claim dominance over the land, I was sold. Even if it had the stupidest name.

Triangle Strategy is developed by Tomoya Asano, producer for Bravely Default and Octopath Traveler (similarly terribly named video games) and implements a lot of the graphical quirks of these two titles. Particularly touted is the hybrid 2D-HD mix. While it’s not the prettiest game, I still enjoyed the cover art for the main characters and the adorable sprites that I was able to control on the battlefield.

From a gameplay standpoint, Triangle Strategy strips back quite a lot from the old games. There’s no class changes beyond simple promotions. While I didn’t mind these changes, it felt like a lot of the depth in previous titles was gone. Serenoa Wolffort would always be a swordsman. Roland would always be on his horse, wielding a spear. Still, it meant improvising with the units on hand and deciding which characters to bring along. Did I bring a healer? How many mages ought I bring to the field to nuke the enemy from afar?

Whereas in previous titles, one would simply switch to the job and keep the same character that they prefer on the field. Having it scaled back also meant that weapons and armour options were also removed with a much heavier focus on accessories. Why give us plenty of gold if I don’t have much to spend it on? Also the emphasis on upgrading weapons and unlocking certain stat bonuses also felt a lot more simplified than was necessary. More options or locking certain abilities behind mastering a specific weapon might have kept some novelty to the game itself.

While the battles were engaging (and could certainly be hard especially in the latter chapters), it was also forgiving in the sense that losing a character in battle did not mean losing them forever. That was a relief compared to Fire Emblem. What I would have preferred however were fewer mental mock battles and additional battles within the chapters themselves. Or even a couple ad-hoc battles as the Wolffort retinue traversed the land of Norzelia within a day or two (at least it seemed that way when everything was gated behind narration).

Despite these minor quibbles, the battles were the highlights of the game. Each encounter throughout the twenty chapters kept me on my toes. Of course, there were also other battles that I missed out on based on my choices but the situations I faced were certainly devious in some of their setups.

Speaking of choice, quite a lot of Triangle Strategy’s advertising focused on where the character’s convictions would take them. Certainly, as I played, there were options aplenty. Thankfully, not all choices were so clear-cut black and white. Even though I was loathe to give up Roland in one of the early chapters, doing so made sense from a utilitarian perspective. If I thought of my people and their safety, the choice to give up one life to save the lives of the many would not be a hard choice to make.

The fact that the characters were all so likable also served to pressure me in choosing one option over another. In saying that, Chapter 13 had three options for taking back the capital of Glenbrook. There was the utilitarian approach: destroying the dam and flooding the city. There was the ‘moral’ choice of blowing up the bridge and keeping the fighting within the palace itself. And last of all, there was the ‘liberty’ approach of sneaking into the castle, taking out all the high-ranking officers and blowing up the Aesfrosti warship.

Picking the ‘liberty’ option was viewed by many as the ‘do whatever needs to be done.’ It was considered the nasty and wicked plan. But was it really? The utilitarian one – in my eyes – at least, would have caused more damage and excess deaths. It certainly did not seem like the best option to retake the capital. Benedict, especially during this chapter, seemed willing to do anything to win at all costs. Even sacrifice the innocent townspeople. If a plan was going to be considered wicked, destroying the dam and flooding the town would have been it.

As with all stories focused on intrigue and political backstabbing, Triangle Strategy also proved a little too predictable. Proof, I hear you ask? Well, you shall have it in two words: Silvio Telliore. As the opportunist ‘Littlefinger’ of the game, it was clear from his offer in Chapter 8 that he was going to betray the Wolfforts.

Was I surprised? No.

But was I disappointed? Yes.

I felt it would have been an interesting twist if Silvio had actually decided to side with the Wolfforts. Or even if Serenoa had the grand idea of sending a messenger bird to House Falkes and have all three High Houses of Glenbrook ally together. It was a missed opportunity that saw a great man perish to General Avlora when the writing could have done so much more.

Just like the Polygon review, I also have to say that Triangle Strategy focused too much on telling the players rather than showing. Dialogue was aplenty in my playthrough. Oft times, it felt like I was clicking through a visual novel with the occasional battle scattered within. That is not to say that the world-building was bad but it did feel like the characters wanted to exposit a little too much on things that had already been mentioned previously or were clearly obvious.

That aside, why did Triangle Strategy have to pull an Aerith? Geela could have totally cast a healing spell on Dragan. Why would she have allowed him to just die in Serenoa’s arms? They certainly had Geela heal Minister Lyla (who also appeared to have been struck a lethal blow).

Still, the plot for Triangle Strategy was still enjoyable. It might not be on par with Final Fantasy Tactics but it didn’t need to be. This was its own game, set in its own world. What it was able to provide me was suitable enough to sustain my lust for a good story of politicking and resource grabbing. True, the Holy State of Hyzante, the Grand Duchy of Aesfrost and the Kingdom of Glenbrook played into a lot of stereotypes with how they ruled (order versus freedom, anyone?) but it helped to keep motivations simple.

Even if in the Golden Route, Serenoa and friends had to face off against a demi-god wannabe. Tick that off my JRPG checklist. 

Considering the number of lore that was not addressed, such as the Rozelle homeland and their history, I would have liked to see more. Mixed in with a few fantastical beasts and perhaps a sequel would be quite enthralling. Too long, games have been focused on war. Why not sprinkle in a bit of adventure in the next one? Something akin to Final Fantasy Tactics Advance? There’s a lot of potential in Norzelia. Triangle Strategy kept it simple with only huge hawks that can seat humans on their backs but here’s hoping that more games start leaning a little more into more interesting enemy types and creatures.

Now let’s see if The DioField Chronicle can sate my thirst for a meatier strategy role-playing game experience.

Afterlife of the Party

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

FFrom the creators of Oxenfree is a game where the end goal is to out-party the Prince of Darkness: Lucifer. With such pedigree behind it, it should have come as no surprise that I would have bought Afterparty. Even if the premise seemed a lot simpler than the game that came before it. After all, there are no strange radio signals, no alien conspiracies of eldritch proportions. Instead, it’s just two friends hoping to get themselves out of a bad situation. Think of it like the Hangover but instead of Las Vegas, the main protagonists are all in Hell.

The narrative, if you like, focuses on protagonists Milo and Lola. They’re in Hell, somehow, and clearly feel like they don’t belong there. In fact, they’re desperate to leave, sure that a mistake was made somewhere because they aren’t serial killers or anyone too dastardly. What kind of terror can these milquetoast-barely-out-of-their-teens do? Their lives have certainly not carried much in ambition. Even if it did, they’ve been powerless to do anything about all the various injustices in the world.

Besides, an eternity of torture doesn’t sound very fun. And so, getting back to the world of the living seems a much more productive use of their time. They’ve only just graduated from college, after all. There’s a whole lot more life ahead of them to live.

So begins a night of debauchery to unseat the Devil himself and earn a ticket back to the world of the living. Thank goodness that by the time Milo and Lola arrived in Hell, it was just about ready for the demons to clock off for the day. Otherwise, who knows what kind of fresh demented punishments they might have faced beyond Sister Mary Wormhorn and her earnest attempts to drive a wedge between the two friends (honestly, for a personal demon, she didn’t seem that bad). 

The gameplay features from Oxenfree. Characters can be controlled with a simple click and conversations have a natural flow that can be interrupted. Rather than occasionally tuning a radio, however, Afterparty introduces a drinking mechanic that unlocks certain different dialogue options and scatters several minigames throughout the short five hours it took to explore every nook and cranny of the world Night School Studio created.

Though the controls for the minigames weren’t exactly hard, I was happy to see that they only featured minimally. Mostly for narrative purposes. These included dance-offs, drink stacking and beer pong. And I must say, my beer pong skills were terrible. The stacking was all right, but I probably took way too long trying to make sure that my tower of glass tumblers was perfect (leading to a few losses against Lucifer before he finally offered me a third chance).

But what I loved about Afterparty weren’t the flashy environmental settings or the whacky characters that were on full display. Rather, I much preferred the more human moments of learning people’s backstories and seeing the impact of what an eternity could do to angels and demons alike. Just like Oxenfree, Afterparty is a great game that peers into the human condition, though it is often couched in frat boy party hijinks and antics.

Milo and Lola aren’t perfect companions. In fact, they seem to only be friends because they have nobody else. Their lives are pretty mediocre, filled with the occasional challenges that most children go through. Despite that, though, there’s a real sense of camaraderie between the two by game’s end as they tackle Lucifer head-on. Even when it soon spirals into an intervention for the Lord of the Underworld.

And while I would have loved to have Lucifer have his comeuppance for living a life of hedonistic pleasure and not doing his job (because, as we all know, life doesn’t work like that and we can’t all live it like it’s one giant never-ending party), I also wanted to see Milo and Lola escape. So, even though I knew that I’d be helping him indulge his ways, I still took him up on the deal. What I hadn’t expected was Sam and Apollyon to accompany the humans back into the world of the living.

Does no one question the demons walking among them? Did the intervention work or is Lucifer still partying hard down in Hell? Will Lola actually become Madam President and save the world? What about Milo and his magic shop?

In the end, none of the endings truly appeased me as the one best ending. Still, the references, the jokes and the fourth-wall breaking meta commentary helped shape this underrated gem of a game into a great diversion. Not all games need to be a hundred hours. Nor do they need to have world-saving connotations. And as I explored Hell and tried to recruit humans and demons alike to Milo and Lola’s cause, I learned to accept that life itself isn’t perfect. 

Yes, sometimes we can help a demon find love again. Perhaps we could have saved Lucifer from his downward spiral, or maybe we help an innocent man ascend back up to Heaven. Life is a twisty set of turns. Altruism, while not quite dead, is hard to find. Social media hasn’t helped much either in that regard. Always, the camera is on you and the way you present yourself in society. Being good has never been harder when there are a thousand causes to be invested in. 

Long story short, we’re all bits and pieces of Milo and Lola. The desire to be cool, the desire to know what you want out of life and pursue it, and even the desire to not be alone are what makes us so very human and this journey of life so very much worth living. 

Your Turn to Roll

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March 25th was just around the corner. Once again, I was eager to find myself plunged into a world of mayhem and chaos that has become symbolic of the looter-shooter genre. There was little time to waste. I knew that before long, I’d be jumping into another hours long role-playing game.

Thankfully, when the Epic game store offered the DLC (downloadable content) as a free standalone, I jumped at the chance of acquiring it.

Yes, you read that right suckers! time to roll initiative for Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep!

The Borderlands franchise is something I’m intimately familiar with. But whereas most people derive joy from the co-op mode and playing with their friends, it’s a game franchise that I primarily play solo. Whether that’s because my friends have already played it or they simply refuse to buy it on Epic game store and want to wait for it to be released on Steam.

At the very least, it means I don’t have to contend with differing time-zones or bed-times. Which, honestly, is a plus. Who needs to play with other people anyway? They don’t need to see me suck.

Assault on Dragon Keep follows on from the ending of Borderlands 2. It’s a small side story that serves as a wonderful distraction and helps to wrap up the excellent campaign against Handsome Jack. It also tackles the issues that many of the characters are facing with the loss of their leader: Roland. The fantasy setting, therefore, helps lend to this exploration – providing much more vibrant and intriguing backdrops for players to enjoy.

After Marcus catches players up for the little side story, Tiny Tina introduces us to the in-game version of Dungeons and Dragons: Bunkers and Badasses. Playing it are the old cast from the original Borderlands. The characters they inhabit, however, are the ones players would be familiar with after playing through the campaign of the second game.

While Golems, knights, orcs, skeletons and spiders might be staples of any fantasy genre, Assault on Dragon Keep manages to put its own spin on them while also ensuring the mayhem of shooting a bajillion bullets to keep the critters at bay. Though there’s not much change in how players might engage with the game, I found it fun to experiment with a different character.

Since I only played the base Borderlands 2 game upon release, I took immeasurable joy in playing as the Mechromancer rather than my usual default of Zer0. To be perfectly frank, I’ve played the rogue assassin and sniper one too many times and really ought to change up my tactics. It also helps that with the Mechromancer, I had a lot more options at my feet for crowd control. Considering I was playing by myself and many of the enemies liked to swarm, it was probably the better option than the cyborg ninja.

The game, just like any one-shot game of Dungeons and Dragons, introduces players to a hub city before presenting the main story hook, leading the Lilith, Mordecai and Brick further into the homebrew world she has created.

Along the way, there were several cameos from other side characters from the main game such as Mr Torgue and Ellie. And, as with all Borderlands games, there are riffs on certain tropes that often appear in nerd culture. It included sexy versus practical armour for women characters, gatekeeping supposed dude bros from enjoying in a little fantasy and science fiction action, as well as a plethora of references to a lot of other media franchises. 

I particularly liked the one made to Game of Thrones and the detestable Joffrey. Getting to hit the in-game version of Cersei and Jaime Lannister’s incestuous spawn was still a delight even though many would have said Season 8 of the very popular fantasy series was a downright disappointment.

Given the fact that this was DLC for the main game, my time with Assault on Dragon Keep wasn’t entirely long. Much of it felt like a rehash of the main events that occurred in the Borderlands 2 storyline as Tiny Tina and the rest of the cast tried to deal with the loss of those that held dearest. It was interesting to see Lilith tackle her grief by repeatedly reminding Tina that Roland was gone and telling the young girl that she needed to accept it and move on. 

It was also clear that Lilith, Mordecai or Brick were truly over Roland’s death. Coupled with the fact that Tiny Tina refused to believe that the gentle giant was gone only served to re-open fresh wounds.

For me, it was a great dive into the psychology of these characters. Though the franchise is known for its bombastic gunplay, these quieter moments pulled me through ten or so hours I enjoyed with the side entry. And as the characters finally leaned into the fun, receptive of Tiny Tina’s desire to hold onto a shred of Roland just for the game that they were playing, I felt my heart squeezed a bit tight.

In fact, I can see why Assault on Dragon Keep is one of the most popular DLCs for the franchise. There are new sets of enemies, the story has heart while also being humorous as it provides a steady stream of social commentary and the shooting ‘n’ looting mechanics that most players are familiar with are still vastly intact. The references scattered throughout the game also drew a smile to my face as I careened towards the ending. 

Assault on Dragon Keep is definitely something I’d recommend for a weekend romp and a palate cleanser between games of significant length. Even if it also serves as a precursor to Tiny Tina’s Wonderland. 

Free Running

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Just a note to advise that the song used is from the musical, Six. I thought the lyrics particularly apt for the short story. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!

Also, here’s a brief summary that was posted on my FictionPress:

Jayne likes to run through the city. Every night, once she’s put her daughter to bed, she takes to the streets to clear her head. It’s the only way that she won’t dwell on what could have been. Some days are harder than others. But Jayne knows that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Raine was asleep as I slipped on my joggers and slapped on my old headphones. The world around me deadened until I hit shuffle on my Spotify playlist as I stepped out into the night air.

Though the wind carried a chill, I knew by the end of the hour, I’d be sweating up a storm. The only cure: a quick shower. Without the benefit of getting the heart pumping, the air cut through my thin activewear, chilling me almost to the bone. It smelled crisp and clean; the rain having stopped mere minutes ago.

As the bass of the song kicked in, I quickened to a jog, turning left once I had reached the end of the block. The psychedelic colours of the city bombarded me. Reds. Blues. Greens. Purples. Yellows. Refracted in the puddles, the neon brought the towering skyscrapers to life.

This was what it meant to live in the heart of a major city. To be surrounded by the chaos of sights, sounds and smells.

For the first time all day, I could finally breathe…

The patter of my footfalls matched the beat of the song. The lights around me danced. Lost in the melody, I was finally free from the worries and fears that haunted me. For a single hour, I didn’t have to worry about the stresses of my job, balancing the books with rent so high and an income that was like a drop of water in the scorching hot desert that were the debts I needed to repay. I didn’t have to worry if Raine was going well in school or about patching up the hole in her school shirt because buying a new one would put us into the red.

Best of all, for that one whole hour, I wouldn’t have to put up with the pain that came with losing someone I so dearly loved.

Bryan. A man that was so full of cheer despite the accident that had crippled him. A man that had exuded confidence and charm that when the call came, I couldn’t believe it. Hadn’t wanted to believe it was possible.

Why did you leave us?

Why did you leave me?

The thoughts proved too overwhelming and I stopped before a convenience store. Inside, the lights were still on. People in business suits were buying last-minute groceries or a light meal for their supper. So it went: the endless cycle of work and home. One of the men inside had a ring on his finger. Did he have a wife and child waiting for him at home?

It hurt to see warm and happy families; knowing that we could have been like that.

My chest began to tighten, vision narrowing, as I leaned against a wall for support. A cold sweat coated my body as my heart hammered loudly in my ears. I felt like I was dying and there was nothing to stop it. Desperately, I tried to fend off the impending attack with thoughts of Raine. I needed to get my breathing under control.

Right before I thought that it might be all too much, the song on my phone changed. The lyrics served as my anchor, from which I drew strength from.

You can build me up, you can tear me down

You can try but I’m unbreakable

You can do your best, but I’ll stand the test

You’ll find that I’m unshakeable

Just like that, my breathing slowly returned to normal. Calm settled over my body as it did and my mind cleared. Bryan was gone. There was no changing that fact. Raine was my everything now and I would fight anybody and anything that would threaten to take her away from me.

I rose from the haven of soft yellow light from the convenience store, stretched a few of my stiffening muscles, and resumed my run. I’d have to put on some speed if I was going to make up the time I’d lost.

In. Out. In. Out.

It took all of my concentration just to breathe right. To keep the momentum going.

There was no time for the old thoughts to take root. I accepted each stray observation and simply let it go. Running was a lot like how I imagined meditation might be. Just getting into the flow of things and being in tune with my body and my immediate surroundings.

Up ahead the light turned red and a lone truck rumbled past. I jogged on the spot, impatient to continue the run. I was almost back home. It would be another block and then a left at the corner before Raine would be back in my arms. My sweet darling girl who could do anything, even though she had been confined to a wheelchair for as long as she would be alive.

A congenital condition that had something to do with her spine.

The birth had been hard. But Bryan’s decision to end his life not even two years afterwards had irrevocably changed how I viewed the world. Things would never be simple for Raine. She would live with the burden of her father’s actions and the mix of both fear and guilt he had felt when she had been brought into the world.

Yet, somehow, Raine had remained forever bubbly. Those that had seen her couldn’t help but smile and take comfort in the strength of character she displayed.

School was about to start soon and I feared what accessible options were available and how the other kids might see her. The challenges Raine and I would go through during this pivotal moment could make or break us.

And yet, despite knowing that Raine would never get to enjoy the childhood I had enjoyed growing up, I was adamant that she would never be treated differently. In my eyes, she wasn’t just another disabled child. At the tender age of six, she was as resilient as they came and I loved her unconditionally for it.

But Bryan…

If only he could see her now…

What would he say of our daughter? Would he be a proud father or would he be haunted by all the things he hadn’t been able to experience when it became clear that he would never be afforded the use of his legs after the incident that crippled him in his youth?

Those thoughts plagued me as I reached the door to my house, put the key in and turned. Silence greeted me as the door swung open on well-oiled hinges. As I stepped through the entrance and toed off my joggers, I heard the patter of soft footsteps. Looking up at the stairs, I saw Rhubarb emerge from the darkness. He looked down at me, head cocked to the side inquisitively. Satisfied, perhaps, that I posed no threat (and that I would not be so easily manipulated into his fourth meal for the day), he flicked his tail and padded back down the corridor.

More likely than not I’d find him curled at the foot of my bed. Despite my best efforts, the cat had wormed his way into my heart. He was just as much a part of the family as Raine or me. And, to be perfectly honest, was probably the glue that kept us all together. Without Rhubarb, there was no telling where our family might have ended up.

Of course, if I had been more assertive at the time, we might never have adopted the traumatised kitten at the shelter. Having a pet was a big responsibility. One I thought that I couldn’t afford. Especially when I also had to pay for childcare and bills and even basic groceries.

Then again, I might have lost that battle regardless. Raine was far too stubborn when there was something she cared deeply about and would never simply take ‘no’ for an answer. Just like Bryan had been…

An invisible hand squeezed my heart tight before letting go a few moments later. It never seemed to get any easier.

Dabbing at the corners of my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket, I climbed the stairs. It was late and I had to get up early the next day for work. As I walked past Raine’s room, sloughing off my lightweight jacket, I glanced into her room.

In the dim glow of her rabbit nightlight, Raine looked calm, almost peaceful in repose. Swaddled in blankets to ward of the chill of the last few nights, none would have guessed that she had a disability. The only thing out of place in what would have been a stereotypical six-year-old’s room was the wheelchair that was parked at the foot of the bed.

Like every other six-year-old she was full of energy and eager to make new friends. There was absolutely no reason for Raine to be treated any different from the other kids in her class.

That comment had been the balm for many a night where I had lain awake and when I had overheard the comments from several of the others mother’s when I had picked Raine up from school.

As I watched her sleep a few moments more, I wrestled with the idea of going in and giving her a quick peck on her cheek. Would she wake, I wondered? Thinking better of disturbing what must have been a tiring day from school, I retreated from her room and gently closed the door.

Further down, I entered my room. The bed was unmade and my work clothes tossed atop the bright yellow wingback chair I’d be using in lieu of a coat stand. Although I tried to keep Raine’s room neat and tidy, my own was a mess.

I set about tidying up my clothes, taking the crumpled blouses and hanging them up in the closet.

The wingback chair had been a gift from Bryan’s mother when we had moved. It was an old family heirloom. One that had featured prominently in my memories when Bryan and I had been together. It was for that very reason that I couldn’t refuse it. Even though having it with me only brought up old wounds.

After a quick shower to wash off the sweat, I lay back in our old bed. The mattress was stiff and lumpy and uncomfortable. But the idea of throwing it away, much like the wingback chair, was anathema to me. Bryan would always be a part of this family. Raine would know who her father was and how important she had been to him. She was his sweet darling princess. That had been clear the moment she had come into this world.

And no-one could ever replace Bryan in her life.

But perhaps no-one really had to. I reached for my phone and opened up the app I’d been using for the last few days. There were already two promising individuals that I’d set up coffee dates with the following week. Both appeared to be down-to-earth individuals that shared a few hobbies with me. One had a son that was just a little younger than Raine, the other owned a beagle.

Hard choices, true, but they were both understanding my situation. I had made it clear that in my life, Raine would always come first. No matter what. And they had accepted that, cooing over pictures I’d provided of my daughter wreaking chaos out in the wild.

It warmed my heart to know that Raine was not a red flag for them that meant to cut their losses and run. There was something freeing knowing that these people would accept her exactly as she was. Maybe, if the coffee dates went well, we could organise a day for Raine to get a feel for a new person in our lives. Goodness knows she was always worried that I was exhausted from having to pick her up from school and sending her to clarinet lessons.

As I finally set the phone down and turned off the bedside lamp, my head was clear as I finally looked towards a future that seemed just a bit brighter than it had been the night before.

Journey to the Forbidden West

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

The first thing that everyone who is intrigued about Aloy’s next adventure should know is that the Forbidden West is bloody big. The second thing that they should know is that if you’re a bit of a completionist, like me, it can take upwards of a hundred hours to explore every nook and cranny. While there’s plenty to do and the world doesn’t feel empty because of all the threats that are lurking just beyond the horizon, to this weary gamer, the review on Polygon was right. The emphasis on more only served to make the game a much more tedious slog than it needed to be. Beyond that, the gameplay was still top-notch and the characters felt both like pastiches of their particular tribes while also being actual human beings in their own right.

Forbidden West continues on from the ending of Zero Dawn. Six months have passed and the planet has gone from bad to worse despite the fact that Aloy was able to stop HADES from destroying Meridian. The biosphere is fading fast and Aloy is desperate to find a way to restore GAIA, the AI that had been Elisabeth Sobek’s life work and end-goal when the Faro Plague struck.

After the opening narration, Aloy finally arrives at the location of her final lead. Keeping her company is Varl. Together, they search through the ruins of a building that once belonged to Far Zenith. But despite fending off a Slitherfang, their efforts are in vain. The supposed GAIA backup that was rumoured to be at the base turns out to be a logic bomb. 

Dismayed, Aloy returns to Meridian, empty-handed and feeling the full weight of her failure. Although most would consider her a saviour, Aloy is not the type to bask in praise and put her feet up after a job well done. For her, there is always more to do. In that, she echoes the heroes of many a story in books, shows and video games.

The one that immediately came to mind as I was playing was Adora from the 2018 animated She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Just like Adora, Aloy is the type that would throw herself into the fire to save her friends rather than let them help her. The risk of them getting hurt is something they both share. In Aloy’s case, it’s much more prevalent with the active way that she pushes away those closest and dearest to her. As the game continues, however, Aloy begins to accept the aid that is offered rather than going it alone. 

That, in and of itself, is what elevates her above Sylens and many of the antagonists in the sequel to one of my favourite games on the PlayStation 4.

Once Aloy helps out the Carja by investigating the tower that helped bring down HADES subroutine from the end of the first game, she uncovers a message from Sylens telling her to go into the Forbidden West, a land that is governed by the Tenakth. A new goal in hand, Aloy sets out to the Daunt to attend the embassy being held between the Carja and the barbarous Tenakth. So began my hundred hour long journey through the new playground Guerilla Games provided us with.

From a narrative standpoint, Forbidden West built upon what came before. After all, HADES could not have become self-aware without the aid of another. The extinction signal that had activated the subroutine had to have come from somewhere. Then, of course, there had been the sprinkles of lore that had been scattered throughout the first game of the Odyssey: a ship which many of the brightest minds had taken to flee the dying planet. Taking advantage of what they had seeded before, Forbidden West was able to finally reap the plot points that had been left hanging in the previous game.

While the Far Zeniths were not particularly bombastically evil, they still served as passable antagonists to Aloy’s quest to save the Earth. Only Erik Visser seemed to have revelled in death, while others, such as Gerard Bieri felt like caricatures of current wealthy billionaires.

Then, of course, there was Tilda van der Meer. Voiced by Carrie-Anne Moss, she was the perfect foil to Aloy. Though she’s not as vicious as the others, the dream that she had, and her obsession with Aloy (a clone of Elisabeth Sobeck) meant that she was just as greedy and corrupt as the others. After all, who would be able to live for a thousand years and remain sane? Let alone altruistic?

My main problem with the game actually came with the contrivances that so many of the subroutines were located in North America. With a majority of them being scattered in the titular Forbidden West. While ARTEMIS, APOLLO and ELEUTHIA had been snapped up by Far Zenith, the fact that AETHER, POSEIDON and DEMETER were all located fairly close to each other stopped the game from being the globe-trotting adventure it could have been.

Although, to be fair, that particular contrivance helped Aloy immensely. Given that many of the tribes were very centralised, she would have needed to figure out a way to cross the oceans (or fly in the sky) with only a few months to spare before the biosphere would have been become unlivable. 

Then, of course, there was MINERVA. The one subordinate function that was named after a Roman Goddess. But that’s not the end of my gripes with MINERVA. Akin to Athena, MINERVA is the Goddess of war and of wisdom. She isn’t one that is known for messages and communication. So, why is she the subroutine that is in charge of the communication arrays? If that was to be the case, why couldn’t the scientists at Zero Dawn have named it HERMES?

On that note, why is APOLLO regarded as the subordinate function with an archive of human history and culture. True, he was a patron of the arts and has also been associated with health and the sun, but it seemed a far cry from his actual responsibilities as a deity of Ancient Greece.

Beyond that, I loved my time helping out the various Tenakth clans and meeting new tribes such as the Utaru and the Quen. Aloy’s companions: Zo, Varl, Erend, Kotallo, Alva and Beta were all such rich additions. I loved each and every one of them and felt as close to them as family.

For too long, Aloy has operated as a one-person army. Yes, she might be skilled and smart, but everyone needs help sometimes. And it takes a strong person to realise that and to be open about accepting it.

As for the combat, I loved the new machines that were introduced in Forbidden West. Facing up against a Frostclaw, Tremortusk or even a Burrower felt like a refreshing change. Then, of course, there were the legacy machines – ones that I faced in Zero Dawn. Honestly, the variety between the machines was outstanding. The only one I look forward to never fighting again, however, are the Rockbreakers. They are the worst machines. Anything that tunnels and leaps out from underneath the ground is terrifying. 

And while the changes made to the weapon wheel was great for those that liked to experiment, I found myself sticking to true and tried formulas for fighting. My Aloy was stuffed full to the gills with sharpshot bows, blast slings and hunter bows. Sometimes, I’d pull out the occasional warrior bow. That was it. My arsenal when it came to taking down humans, creatures and machines alike.

Actually, now that I think about it, the animals in the world also seemed very limited in the world that Guerilla Games created. I was always puzzled why that there were foxes, prairie dogs, vultures, owls and rabbits (to name but a few) but I never saw any apex predators that would have been on the top of the foodchain. Were were the wolves? Or even the mountain lions? The deserts didn’t even have snakes or coyotes! How does the food-web in the new biosphere operate? Have the machines taken over a lot of the jobs that might have been done by a plethora of insects and other creatures? 

I have so many questions and yet so little answers.

Forbidden West is a great sequel to Zero Dawn. The world is rich with history and the characters were all a delight. I very much enjoyed seeing the different tribes interacting and seeing what in particular inspired them when it came to their beliefs and ways of life. There is so much to love in this unique world that Guerilla Games have created, from MachineStrike to the graphical fidelity to the intricate lore in the games…

Is it any wonder that I also platinumed the sequel as well?

Here’s hoping that Guerilla Games can stick the landing when it comes to the ending of what has felt will be a trilogy of games. Each and every time, the threat has been escalated but I hope that Aloy’s adventure comes to an end with a bang. She certainly deserves the chance to take a break after all the time and effort she has taken to saving everyone else. Whether or not they know it.

The Dating Experiment

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

Goaded by the fact that so many of my friends are starting to get married and encouraged by a few individuals at work, I tried out online dating. Let it be known that on 6 February 2022, I downloaded Hinge, put up a few pictures and waited for the fish to bite. Given the fact that I had never managed to entice anyone with my womanly wiles back in high school or university and hadn’t had any luck with my previous attempts at speed dating, I thought that 2022 would FINALLY be the time I’d strike it lucky.

Even though one of the posts that had gone live at the time I’d downloaded the app had been me waxing poetic about living a solitary lifestyle. I still stand by what I said, but there is a definite fear of missing out on key components of what is considered a ‘normal life.’

And, for the first time, I was sick of seeing all these photos on my feed and feeling like a stranger that was stuck on the outside looking in. Normally I very much like watching things on the sidelines and passing judgement. It’s kind of my thing. People often associate me, Kyndaris, with harsh judgements. I am a person that can never be impressed. Invite me to your house and there will be a bevy of comments that I’ll mutter under my breath at all the inadequacies you were unable to hide!

I’m not entirely sure how accurate that description of me is but apparently that’s the image I exude. So, you’ve been warned!

Back to my sordid dating life!

As with all things new and fresh, I was swept up in the ego stroking that came from having to sort through the assortment of likes and comments that I received. In fact, I had such a decent number after just a day, I was almost tempted to end the experiment right then and there. How was I supposed to choose between all these excellent specimens that wanted a piece of the Kyndaris? And with such limited time considering my very time-consuming hobbies?

Still I waded through the cesspool of suitors for my hand in marriage and culled those that were immediate dealbreakers, whether that was age or their proclivities for certain activities. And then, after I’d gotten through that first wave, I started responding and chatting. 

Oh boy, the chatting! Never had I thought chatting to people so tedious! Yes, it’s appreciative that you may respond immediately to my text but give a girl some time! I have other things to do other than message you back! Like watch the thousand and more Netflix shows that are on my ‘To-watch’ list. And when you have to respond to so many messages, it’s a lot of time out of one’s day that’s being slowly eaten away!

Worse than that was the guilt!

Even though I had only a picture to go by, I’d often felt guilty about letting them down when I didn’t respond quickly enough or when I was at work. But life continues on and I couldn’t spend each waking moment responding to the questions I’d received and providing some of the same answers to similar queries about this ‘different to other girls.’

Honestly, I’m not even all that different from other girls, my dudes. You’ve simply been looking in the wrong corner of the internet. I’m like most shy and introverted nerdy types! We like our games, we like our books and popular TV shows, and we’ve seen what’s been posted on the internet even if we don’t often comment on videos or reddit threads.

Hell, I HAVE A BLOG FOR GOODNESS SAKE! There are some things that simply cannot be unseen.

And while I had some enjoyable chats with a few fellow readers and writers, when it came down to pursuing a relationship with them, I knew it would never quite eventuate. Most of the ones that caught my eye as possible candidates were much too young. And the ones that were older simply didn’t interest me on an intellectual level. Yes, we might be good friends that can shoot the breeze about the next riveting Japanese role-playing game but if you can’t spell, I might have to swipe left next time. 

It is so hard to use an apostrophe? Or know the difference between your and you’re?I don’t know. 

There were just too many small nitpicky things that I couldn’t quite get behind. Especially considering how keen certain men were. One couldn’t stop with the innuendos even when I tried to tell them to slow down. In the end, though he had hoped to meet up (and had planned out our entire married life together), which fell through, I had to let him down gently.

We could still be friends, I said. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m not ready for that level of commitment. And you’d need to dial down your expectations for some winky times in the near future back to zero.

Then, of course, were my forays into Bumble and Boo. Let’s start with the MBTI one, in which I put in far too little investment. Honestly, it seemed the weakest app because without paying for certain features, the only way you could start messaging someone was only by ‘liking’ them. There’s so little that can be parsed from a like with almost zero sense of their personality. Sure, you scored as an ‘ENTP’ but for all I know you could have just told the app that was who you are.

As for Bumble, I used it to try and find friends because trying to find a potential partner just seemed far too exhausting. But in this day and age, even finding a person out of a million and declaring them to be your friend is no longer such an easy feat. Why did half of the photos on Bumble BFF look like they were for girls that were looking to get down and dirty? If you’re only looking for friends, do you really need glamour shots that show you about to go out on the town?

And what is with all these bottomless brunches?

I just…

By month’s end, I deleted them all, unable to keep up with all the messaging and trying to appear likeable and understanding through text. The dating and friendship apps had worn me down even as they had given me an initial boost to my self esteem.

Perhaps it was the constant push to pay a subscription for certain services and locked features. Perhaps it was the fact that no matter how hard I tried, interest would fizzle because they weren’t getting an output from some lonely Asian woman that might be totally asexual and who is a stickler for the rules. Take your pick.

I, for one, have decided that maybe I acted too hastily when I downloaded Hinge back in February. I wasn’t ready and wasn’t sure what I’d expect. Certainly, I had hoped for better and that I’d find my ‘one true love’ within a few short weeks of scouring the choices within my region.

And that’s only the men.

Trying to date women was a lot harder. I probably only received one like from another woman on Hinge. And though I’d messaged a few others, never heard anything back. Maybe, just like me, they’re all a little more reticent; a little shy.

After all, we’re all trying to put ourselves out there to be judged by a perfect stranger to see if we’ll be a good match. And that is no easy feat to put oneself through.

Let’s Talk About Books, Baby!

On By kyndarisLeave a comment

From the ashes of obscurity, books have seen a resurgence. My mother always wondered why I would ever want to be employed at a bookstore when the printed word seemed to be going the way of the dodo. But what was once considered a dying medium has seen new life bestowed upon it through the valiant efforts of BookTubers and even Booktok. 

Yes, you read that right. Booktok! Forget about all the dancing teenagers trying to create the next new floss dance move. There are people on TikTok that actually provide book recommendations. Or riff on certain tropes. Heck, there’s even relatable WriterToks!

Yet, this all comes with a caveat. Most of the books that are seeing a huge boost from influencers are Young Adult fiction. There’s also some very questionable romance stories that are also seeing an endless amount of attention being showered on them. Not once, in all the time that I’ve watched compilations of BookTok videos, have there been any videos on series that are lesser-known. 

Instead, Sarah J Maas dominates with her wing kink Fae universe. Leigh Bardugo has also reached peak prominence with many on the site, but some of that may be due to the Shadow and Bone adaption on Netflix (and after reading the books, I definitely prefer the Six of Crows duology). Then, of course, there are a litany of romance stories with half-naked men on the covers. 

Unfortunately, Fifty Shades of Grey was not an anomaly.

Rather, smut is in. Scratch that. Smut has never left. Whether that be fanfiction on Wattpad (apparently people just love Mafia alternate universes or being kidnapped by boybands. Where have I seen this trope before? Ah yes, the manga Haou Airen by Mayu Shinjo. Actually, just any work from Mayu Shinjo in general. It’s as if the collective gutter mind has picked up on her works and started to remodel it somehow into what now populates sites such as Archive of Our Own and other places where fanfiction exists.

And when it comes to Sarah J Maas and the disaster that was A Court of Silver Flames (I really agree with many BookTubers that have negatively reviewed this work such as withcindy), it seems authors can also get away with having about nearly three fourths of an 800-page book just be about having angry sex in every corner of a fantasy realm.

But that is NOT why I decided to write this post.

While I believe I could pump out decent videos and become a regular of the Booktok community, I just want to shine some light on a burgeoning series in the fantasy section that deserves more love than it’s been getting. And that is the Rook and the Rose trilogy. From its gorgeous cover to the excellent world-building to the lovable characters! 

Somehow, it’s still so niche that my local Dymocks didn’t even stock it! I had to go online just to get it in hand. Honestly, that’s on me and I probably should have just gone to Kinokuniya or Abbey’s with its hefty science fiction and fantasy section.

Written by Marie Brennan and Alyc Helms under the name M.A. Carrick, the Rook and the Rose series tells the story of Ren, a con artist, who has come to the city of Nadezra to trick her way into a noble house and secure a fortune for both herself and her fellow ex-street urchin: Tess. The way the authors craft the world and the lore behind it is immaculate, the focus on the characters and the slow plotting also make it a delicious read that had me become incredibly invested into its world.

Nadezra, though the setting for the story that is being meticulously plotted out, feels like a character in its own right. The history of the city is rich with promise and the Venetian-esque vibe that emanates from it (along with the masquerade masks that adorn the covers) makes the place feel alive even though it’s only something crafted from words and I’ve merely just pictured the actual buildings in my mind. 

But although Ren is front and centre, there’s also Vargo, everyone’s favourite criminal mastermind with a heart of gold, and Grey Serrado, a stiff Captain of the Guard that has a huge chip on his shoulder. While there are plenty of other characters to wrap one’s head around, these three are the heart, soul and mind of the series as it currently is and I cannot wait to see what happens in the third and final book of the series that should be releasing sometime in early 2023.

Honestly, it’s a shame that this series hasn’t received the attention it deserves. For anyone that has fallen in love with the Locke Lamora series or who likes tropes of found family and dashing rogues trying to fight against a corrupt aristocracy, the Rook and the Rose series has it all.

Heck, even if you want to have a creature mascot, there is one in Alsius! Someone, draw a spider with socks on each of its legs! Please! If Doomslug from the Cytonic series can have merch, then so can an aristocrat trapped in the body of a spider! 

And the way he bemoaned his lack of gloves had to be one of the funniest sentences I’d read in a long time.

Then of course there’s the things that BookTok could be capitalising on. Like the tarot card readings and the drawing of numinatria (which is basically geometric shapes)!

Oh, can’t forget the FASHION!

Alyc Helms might not be Tess in real life but she’s definitely an eye for describing clothing and I wish I had that talent when it comes to describing what my characters are wearing. Given my current ineptitude (I can’t even tell the difference between a cross stitch and other forms of embroidery), it’s a wonder how I manage to clothe my various fictional characters at all. One of these days I ought to sit down and just research the different types of doublets, jerkins, cuirass and other such attire. 

The world is also ripe for an adaption, as was requested in an interview with the authors with Kia Carrington-Russel, an Australian author.

It is a shame that many influencers have yet to read or signal boost this criminally underrated series. How is it that books such as House of Sky and Breath have become so popular that they now feature in the local Big W and not a fantastic fantasy series that tells such a bewitching tale in a fully realised world?

I can’t say for sure if I have any reach when it comes to my blog posts, but I hope that someone out there will draw a spider with gloves/ socks and it suddenly becomes viral. Because that is what the Rook and the Rose deserves! 

That or a streaming deal. Just think of how beautiful the world would look with just the right vision behind it? Certainly, we’ve seen Bridgerton bring back Regency and Shadow and Bone dabble with an actually intriguing young adult fantasy series. Now let’s see that Netflix budget (or Amazon/ Binge/ Stan/ whatever other big streaming services there are) try to put it on a burgeoning IP that has so much promise! And don’t cancel it until the second season!