Despite advances in medical science, living to your 80s is still a difficult feat when life can throw all manner of curve balls. But getting to 99 (or, as many in East Asian countries see it, 100), is still almost impossible in this day and age. Even with filthy billionaires trying to game the system with expensive sauna trips and research into cryogenics.

My grandparents (on my father’s side), it must be said, never had any of that. Theirs was a hard life.

The two of them met during the Korean War (with my grandfather having also fought in the Second World War). Then, after marriage, the two of them were repatriated to the far-flung corner of Xinjiang following Liberation. The two of them faced famine, hard labour and uncertain futures. Yet though they might look fragile from the outside as they shuffle forward and dodder about the past, I can’t help but wonder if they have truly unlocked the secrets of immortality.

The journey over to Urumqi, Xinjiang, was an arduous one that involved a late flight on a Friday evening. It meant arriving in Guangzhou at about 5 AM (local time) in the morning before transferring to another five hour long domestic flight. Akin to flying to Perth from Sydney.

That said, I did travel in luxury. And by that I mean I headed on over to China in business (though not entirely by choice. Given my ageing grandma – on my mother’s side – was also heading over, I was required to upgrade to keep her company). Yes, dear reader. You read it correctly. BUSINESS.

Unfortunately, even with the ability to actually sleep lying down, I felt like I mostly microslept/ napped my way over. There was no proper night’s rest for me. And how could I have enjoyed it when we were woken up for breakfast at 4:30 AM (Australian Eastern Standard Time) before our early arrival. Still, at least I managed to enjoy a Spanish omelette, as well as have a decent lunch on the second flight.

During my flight over to Xinjiang, I was seated next to a fellow Australian. Unlike myself, though, she was visiting the autonomous region purely as a tourist as she had retired and wanted to see the sights around China. Originally from the Guangdong province, she had settled in Melbourne. She had two sons. One, a dentist.

While most of it was just simple small talk, it was nice to have a conversation during the long flight over.

Once we finally landed, I finally reunited with my mother (after nearly 11 months apart). She, along with my uncle (her brother), were there to pick us up and take my grandma (to be referred to as Popo) back to my uncle’s house where she would stay for a vast majority of the trip. My uncle, being quite magnanimous had prepared for us a late lunch. After we’d been fed, and I had toured the house, he drove me and my mother to the hotel we would be staying for a couple of nights.

After all, the main event was still to come on the next day with my grandfather’s 99th (or, in his eyes, his 100th) and my grandmother’s 95th birthday.

Fun fact, the two of them share the same date (at least according to the Lunar calendar)!

Given the momentous occasion, there were quite a number of guests in attendance. Including a once estranged aunt (divorced from my uncle) who looked like she had not changed one iota from the last thirty years. There were also a few other distant family members as my grandfather had previously been married and had a child prior to his marriage to my grandmother.

Then, of course, there were my immediate cousins. Of these, the oldest had brought along his four-month old daughter. The other cousin, though married, was still childless. And then there was me. Single, not sure if she wanted to mingle, and possibly not even straight.

As I was the youngest of the cousins, I was gifted a few presents of my own. Including, of course, a few Pop Mart items. These included a Monsters pendant, a Monsters scented candle, and a Monsters snowglobe. Unfortunately, the one I received had to be confiscated when I flew to Shanghai but I was able to find and purchase a replacement. And so, it is with a heavy heart, dear readers, that I report the loss of my happiness for the greatest evil of all: hope (at least according to Nietzche).

Now, I’ll admit, these family affairs always feel a little extravagant and daunting. I’ll be the first to confess I don’t like them much at all. Especially because I don’t know many of the others in attendance (living in Australia and about a 14 hour flight away does that to you). In fact, I’m probably the least close to my grandparents. So, it feels terrible to show up and claim the money they so freely shower (mostly because I don’t feel like I deserve it).

That said, I suppose to my grandparents, showing up is the greatest gift to them. It’s not so easy to travel all that distance, after all.

And while I may not have grown up under their watchful eye, there’s still a sense that they want to know who I am. Curiosity mixed in, of course, with a dose of familial love. It’s just that there’s such a huge yawning gulf between us in terms of culture and the things I or they might be interested in.

Still, I suppose, too, it’s also good to see how they’re doing too. Even though it’s only snapshot moments with many years between them. Though, that said, they haven’t much changed since the last time I visited. Except maybe they’ve grown a little older and more frazzled with the passage of time.

My fault, most of the time, of course but since the pandemic, I do feel like time has a way of getting away when you want it the most.

In any case, the banquet was a huge success. Though, I have to admit, being put on the spot to give a speech about my grandparents was not on my bucket list. If I’d been given some forewarning, and time to prepare, I like to think I would have given something quite a bit more eloquent. Alas, nerves got the better of me and I only thought to keep it simple (of course, if I’d gone for something a little more complex, my mother would not have been able to interpret for me).

So, though I know my grandparents will never read this (nor will my mother), I believe I ought to leave some parting words:

To my grandfather,

A hundred years is no small feat. Though you’ve known me before I was even born, I have been lucky to have you for as long as I have. Despite the years and distance separating us, knowing that you, and grandmother, are continuing strong even at this late age fills me with hope for the future.

The sign of a life well lived is the indelible legacy one leaves behind. Be they family or the memories friends remember. To have a hundred years of stories, then, is truly remarkable. And what a life you have lived. From the start of the Second World War til our current age of smartphones and AI.

May you remain hale, hearty and keep your mind forever sharp even in your golden years. And, who knows, maybe you’ll have a hundred more to go.

Happy birthday!

On a completely unrelated note, I do hope the billionaires pouring millions of dollars into the longevity business never do find the secret of living forever. It’s certainly not a power I’d want to see in their hands.

Though I like to think it comes from having a daily routine, eating well and their uncanny ability to siphon the lifeforce of two of their three children.