It’s not often I go on dates during the holiday season. The reason should be obvious: most people put a heavy emphasis on such dates. After all, these dates are mostly for family, friends and…loved ones. But when one is still getting to know another, a heavy significance can be put on the periods between Christmas and New Years. So, when I told Dikottir that the Darkfield experiences had returned to Sydney (after he’d gone to several earlier in the year: Seance and Flight), he was eager to cross another one off his list. And he didn’t want to wait until after the holiday season to do so.

Thankfully, I did have a few days off between Christmas and New Years and could join him in one such experience: Coma. Although, I had a feeling he’d only chosen Coma so he could find a place to lie down for a good thirty or so minutes.

Not realising Darkfield would only be on at night, Dikottir and I initially planned to meet up for lunch. It was only when Dikottir was perusing tickets, and only finding sessions from 6:00 PM onwards, were we able to deduce these were evening-type events. Thankfully, I was able to message Dikottir before he’d left his apartment and we rescheduled our initial 11:00 AM start to 5:00 PM (wherein a rainstorm drenched Sydney in between).

Dikottir managed to spot me at Kinokuniya despite the fact I’d cut my hair short because of my iconic red jacket – the one I got during my trip to Egypt and Turkey back in 2023. As I waited for him, I’d perused the shelves of the bookshop before picking up one of the latest volumes of Monstress to while away the time. Once the initial greetings were done and dusted, Dikottir and I strolled down to Pitt Street Mall where he did some shoe shopping at the local Footlocker (and to use up his gift cards) by getting a new pair of black Asic joggers.

And while I had wanted to get a few new pairs of shoes (I ended up going to the Birkenhead Point shopping outlet), there wasn’t any styles I liked.

From Footlocker, we wandered down to the Lego Store. We had a brief exchange about Agatha Christie and the twists she incorporated in many of her mysteries, even as I ogled the Orient Express Lego set. And perfect for any person with an obsession for trains.

Not that I have one, mind you. Instead, I fell in love with the NASA Space Shuttle. Although, of course, the Lego Store in the city didn’t have it in stock at the time (I’d pick it up later in January at another store). Our visit to the Lego store went a little long and before we knew it, we were legging it over to Barangaroo. Of course, Dikottir deferred to my superior sense of direction and we arrived there without too much hassle.

But what to say about Coma?

Coma had us clamber into bunk beds inside a shipping container. What objects we did have, we put at the foot of the bed. There was a white pill one could ingest to heighten the experience. And there was a set of headphones (which had the volume on way too loud for my delicate sensitivities).

Once everyone had settled and either taken the while placebo pill (or not), the lights dimmed until all one could see was inky blackness and we were lulled by the audio descriptions we could hear.

While the experience wasn’t terrible, I suppose some of the illusion of being in a coma was shattered by the fact I could still move around if I so chose. And this was heightened by my state of discomfort of how I’d arranged my belongings at the foot of my bed (and that I was forced to sleep directly on my back).

For the most part, though, Coma wasn’t too bad as it narrated a few events and also primed the brain for several scents that were funnelled through a nearby vent on the right side of each bunk. My only complaint would be the loud buzzing at the end, which proved to be far too loud and irritating.

I have sensitive ears. I jump at loud noises. It is never good to have loud annoying buzzing near me.

After our Darkfield experience, we strolled back towards Barangaroo and the food options found therein. In the end, we settled for Ume burger and chatted jovially about the state of the world and the partisan nature of Australian politics.

Why does it always feel like our political parties are at each other’s throats? Why are they so unwilling to make concessions for the betterment of the people? Honestly, I feel as if most of the major parties treat each other like exes who really enjoy having hate sex because it’s the only way they get off with each other.

There just doesn’t seem to be any middle ground.

In any case, after the date with Dikottir, I returned home and began to ponder if after three dates I could see a future with him. But while I didn’t have butterflies fluttering around in my stomach at the thought of him, Dikottir was also inoffensive. We shared quite a few similarities. And if we were marrying not for love, I didn’t feel like there would be anything wrong with me choosing him as a life partner. The two of us would probably just end up doing our own things and then come together only when needed.

Plus, he had a decent job, seemed to have a good relationship with his parents, and he had a delightful dog that he liked to share pictures of. What wasn’t there to like?

And yet, this was not the romance I’d been sold in the stories and movies over the years. Quite literally, there was no ‘spark.’ No Anne Hathaway’s lifting of the foot a la The Princess Diaries. Although, to be fair, we haven’t even reached the stage of holding hands.

But the real question: do I want to hold hands with Dikottir?

Is this what non-ace/aro people feel compelled to do?

I mean, I did wonder what it might be like if he were to hold my hand but my brain couldn’t quite fathom what would happen afterwards. Would he then hold me in his arms and I’d ‘drown’ into his chocolate brown orbs?

Yes, I know I’m being facetious now but every time I ask someone what it’s like to fall for someone, I don’t get anything definitive. Just ‘oh, you’ll know it when you feel it.’

In any case, I’ve left the door open for future dates with Dikottir. He seems to be the strongest candidate so far. And I suppose I could so far worse. Now, if only I could get any sort of warm fuzzy feelings to start in some way or another because neither of us deserve to just ‘settle’ even if it would be a practical proposal.

Now, if only I could enter a 1920s black and white dance number with Santino Fontana.