In a world that is slowly trying to correct the wrongs of the past, there has been a considerable number of missteps. Progressive individuals from the past might also be bigots with conflicting ideals when viewed from the perspective of the present. Celebrities, held up on pedestals, reveal that they are just as fallible as us other humans and vulnerable to the same vices. Yet, in a society where one can express their opinion through the limits of 140 characters, everything that we do is scrutinised by our peers. And, should someone take umbrage with what we’ve said, all the good work we have done is made invalid.

I can’t say much regarding certain controversies floating around the internet. After all, I don’t actually have a Twitter account. So, my voice, when it comes to social media is limited to overlong blog posts that are almost ignored.

But after reading numerous articles on the subject, I’ve come to the conclusion that often times our need for political correctness has only served to divide humans rather than bring us together in solidarity. How do we include people from all walks of life without dismissing their individual lived experiences? What if we substitute the ‘e’ in women with an ‘x’ to include transgender individuals? No, wait. That could also be considered excluding them by drawing attention to the very fact that we are trying to include them.

Nothing is ever as cut and dry as one would hope. And honestly, over the years, it’s been a tiring prospect to try and remind myself of all the new words and phrases to replace ones that would be considered offensive. Is it aboriginal, indigenous or First Nations? Should I refer to someone as being physically disabled? Does that person have Asperger’s or has it all been lumped under the singular spectrum of autism?

As someone that has quite a few privileges, it can be hard to take into account all the many ways people now identify themselves as. Are you joking or do you really think of yourself as an apache attack helicopter? 

It seems that no matter where I go, I’m liable to step into a veritable minefield, offending someone even when I’m trying to appease everyone. 

And once you have offended a particular set of individuals, the fun really starts. You are then attacked for a poor choice set of words. It does not matter why you might have a particular set of views – if your own experiences in life have informed the way you think in a certain way – the lack of open discourse essentially shuts down your voice and casts you as an intolerant bigot. You are labelled and cancelled. It is essentially a form of shaming.

But the problem with this is that it fails to allow others to amend their ways. By ostracising these people, instead of trying to see things from their perspective and reaching out to them, we are essentially pushing them away. After all, with how much the world has changed, it is difficult to adapt to the myriad ways language and what is acceptable versus what isn’t has changed. 

A short film I watched from Wongfu Productions handles this issue quite well.Titled ‘A Long Time Coming’ it is about how our prejudices are shaped by the time period we grew up in and what we endured during that time. The father character is not a monster because he cannot rationalise why black lives should matter. By using her compassion and trying to relate his experiences with the current political climate, the daughter is able to open her father’s mind to possible change rather than forcing it upon him. The son’s acknowledgement of the father’s belief as born from the truth of his experiences also sheds a lot of light on the matter as who we are is shaped from what we lived through before.

I know that I have often struggled with trying to change people’s views. In particular, some of my work colleagues. Living in Australia, some of them were sceptical why Black Lives Matter protests were going to be held in several of our major cities. And I, trying to be champion the cause explained that these protests were especially relevant once the experiences of Indigenous Australians are considered. It is an inconvenient truth that the number of Indigenous Australians in prison populations is disproportionate to other ethnic groups. And that many live in a cycle that exaggerates and perpetuates a life of crime.

Of course, none of my arguments gained much ground. Why should only black lives matter when all lives matter?

When they pulled out that card, I remembered my own thoughts on the whole BLM movement several years ago. It was only by opening myself up to other views and discourse was I able to realise that in order for all lives to matter, we need to uplift those that are still suffering from inequality.

But if I had been harangued for my opposing views back then, I might have clamped down and become defensive, refusing to hear other voices because they only seemed to dismiss and ridicule my own ideologies. Articles I’ve read show that that the best way to change someone’s mind is to listen without prejudice and be open to why they think they way they do. That means being sympathetic and understanding. It means being patient as you try to educate them.

And what is most important in challenging misconceptions is open dialogue. Labelling someone a monster and saying that none of their opinions matter and demanding an immediate apology (for when that person doesn’t quite understand what exactly is wrong) does not help. Ignoring them only serves to keep them trapped in their own echo chamber that amplifies the views they already have. By sitting down and having a discussion rather than an argument, it allows people to perhaps consider the other side. And that can only be done by listening, showing patience and expressing empathy.

One of my colleagues told me that the protests of the past were not just demonstrations and people shouting out their views to an impassive public. Instead, individuals would openly discuss the merits of a change, with several others playing devil’s advocate. It meant that all sides could be weighed and considered and judged. And, perhaps, it was the best tools in ensuring change.

Besides, if my degree in criminology has taught me anything, labelling only leads to either people embracing the poor opinion public has of them or simply shunning society altogether. Something to consider when people attack others for not sharing their views or might have built-in misconceptions from the truth of their lives.